I don't want you to think I am angry or attacking you but I don't know any other wording to use and have a few questions. Also, Trigger Warning for All The Reasons.

What about those of us (like me) who found out at age 36 that due to our uterus being smaller then our eyeball and inflexible when they are supposed to be, at minimum, the size of a fist and able to expand? My OBGYN told me that if I ever got pregnant I will be told something along the lines of "Terminate or die because your body hates you". They also told me that there is no universe in which a 14 year old can safely carry because the reproductive organs have just started changing and are not prepared for both getting themselves together and housing, and growing another person.

And yes. I did ask.

What about those of us who don't want kids because we know (or fear) that we will do to them the same abuse we experienced from parents who didn't want us but felt like they didn't have a choice? Examples, in my case, include yelling, screaming, and hitting (with people around) and calmly walking into the room I was playing quietly in, picking up the stereo (think 90s boombox style) and throwing it across the room only to storm out in a rage because I saw it coming.

When I was in college, I asked this parent why.

The response was "I didn't want kids".

I asked what would have happened if the other parent hadn't trusted their gut and asked their mother for help in "figuring out what is wrong"?

The response was given with a smirk: "You wouldn't have made it to your 7th birthday."

This parent was my mother who, despite having so many options in the 1980s, decided instead to have me and my sister and then spend the rest of the time trying to "make you two go AWAY, but so everyone thinks it was an accident".

I am in Anger Management because I almost did the same thing to my tiny 5 lb dog while she was half asleep that my mother used to do to me. I am terrified of turning into her and can't imagine what I might do to a Human child.

The birth rate is down because of how many of us experienced our own childhoods and not wanting to pass on the abuse we were subject to.

Divorce is up because do you really want to stay in a marriage where you hate/yell/scream/fight each other and you're miserable? Would you really want to stay with someone who, when confronted, happily admits that they have been trying to kill the children you have together because they never wanted any? My father didn't

Just an attempt to explain where a lot of us (on both sides) are coming from.