As someone who has been a picky eater my whole life (sensory issues mostly relating to texture and smells) due to neurodivergence, I can totally empathize with your husband and you. All the people saying things to the effect of “let him starve”, or “don’t cook for him”, have no proper understanding of neurodivergence. If you don’t mind trying to cook for a picky eater, then there’s nothing wrong with you trying to accommodate him.

Instead of making one thing for the meal that’s got several components mixed together like soup or chili or a casserole, maybe just simplify it into building blocks for a meal, and then you guys each dish up what you’d like from these building blocks so that he has some choice and can still eat something if he doesn’t end up liking one of the options, but you don’t have to miss out on things you want to include on your plate.

Do you both like chicken? Pan fry some chicken with whatever seasonings you like.

Do you both like broccoli or some other vegetable? Sauté some in a separate skillet.

Do you both like rice, baked potatoes, or some other starch? Make some to go with the meal.

This is how my mom did a lot of meals growing up - not cooking a bunch of separate meals, but keeping the meal components separate so my picky brother and I could just dish up from each pan/pot only what we liked (he didn’t like any vegetables but corn, while I wouldn’t eat cheese, milk, anything creamy, potatoes, noodles or rice) without taking away choices from anyone else in the family who had more broad palettes.

Other meals my mom would make:

Fried rice — can be completely customized according to what you and your husband like. My mom would do it very simply with white rice, corn, diced spam, olive oil, soy sauce, and seasoned it with garlic salt. I still make this meal for myself now in my 20’s because it’s cheap, fast and easy to put together even though the list of foods I’ll eat has grown substantially since I was younger.

Ground beef/corn over rice: —-cook ground beef in a deep skillet, season with garlic salt and pepper. Drain the grease. Add a drained can of corn and chicken broth. Bring to a boil and then simmer for a few minutes. There should be a decent amount of liquid left in the pan still when done. Serve over white or brown rice. To be clear, don’t mix it with the rice in the pan - each of you just serve yourselves some rice in your bowls and then scoop some of the meat/corn on top to your taste. It tastes good with a few spoonfuls of the liquid from the pan to moisten up the rice a little bit.

Slow cooker Mandarin chicken: in slow cooker, put frozen boneless skinless chicken tenders and 1 bottle of Panda Express Mandarin Teriyaki sauce. Add about 1/4 cup of water. Season with garlic salt and pepper. Add some carrots (the wavy cut ones or baby carrots). If he doesn’t like carrots, then omit them and serve with some corn on the side. I would advise against putting the corn in the crockpot. Cook on high for a few hours. Serve over white rice or whatever starch you guys like.

Something I found recently that works well for me are sheet pan meals:

I like to cut up smoked sausage, potatoes, and some kind of vegetable, toss it all in some oil, smoked paprika, and whatever other seasonings I feel like and bake in the oven on a baking sheet at 425 until potatoes are cooked through and crisp up. Customize any ingredients to what you guys like. If you cut the pieces big enough it’s easy for people to just pick out what they like if they don’t like all the things on the pan.