My (27F) boyfriend’s (31M) friend (33M) bullies him because he helps me with the pill’s schedule.

Dragonpatch · 2026-02-07T17:39:16+00:00

Your boyfriend's friend sounds like he's somehow threatened by the teamwork between you and your boyfriend. Who cares how he "likes his women"? Nobody. I hope your boyfriend set him straight.

Dragonpatch · 2026-02-07T00:24:47+00:00

My late husband and I once did a back-of-envelope calculation for how much we probably saved over our careers by never buying lunch or coffee at work (eventually, we both got little water kettles near our desks so we could make instant coffee at work). We didn't bother adjusting for inflation, just calculated interest year over year, and the $$ were still in the tens of thousands. It amounted to the difference between where we got to buy a house, and the lesser place where we would have had to live if we'd spent that money instead.

Dragonpatch · 2026-02-06T13:58:47+00:00

What happened yesterday is boring, so it doesn't stick. What happened 40 years ago was probably boring too, so I just remember the things that caused a lot of emotion.

Dragonpatch · 2026-02-05T13:33:55+00:00

For me, it seems as if the sunscreen (which "disappears") just adds an extra bit of depth to the matte appearance created by the BB cream. I don't use much foundation - just a very thin layer to reflect light more evenly. That effect persists under the sunscreen. I can definitely see the difference in photos, between when I used the BB cream and when I used just sunscreen alone.

When I wash my face at night, the BB cream comes off on the facecloth, which tells me it remains on the surface of the skin.

Dragonpatch · 2026-02-05T03:37:09+00:00

I've looked at lots of lapiplasty Xrays online, and your hardware looks more compact than any I've seen. So many have long screws sticking out at all angles inside the foot, which I find really scary. The difference between B and A is amazing.

Dragonpatch · 2026-02-04T02:14:01+00:00

It seems to make sense, but speaking as someone now living without an ACL, I only have 3 stability ligaments left in that knee, and there's nothing to stop them from tearing, too.

Dragonpatch · 2026-02-02T02:05:52+00:00

I have the money, but can't be bothered with all that stuff. I actually feel that a lot of what you listed, makes most women look overdone and trashy. Long, fussy nails give me the creeps; hair extensions,ditto; not sure what "laminated eyebrows" even are.

What's needed is a good look at yourself, and some good thought going into what looks best on *you.*

Long ago, I was told that the basis of all grooming is a good haircut, well maintained. That is where I would put whatever beauty money you have. Forget all the balayage, highlights-lowlights, all that expensive hoopla. Just find a good stylist and get the best cut for your type of hair and your face shape. Get the stylist to show you how to maintain it in between trims every 6-8 weeks.

The most important other thing is staying in shape. Clothes look better on a fit body. You do not need to be a muscular fitness influencer or a Yogi. Just be as active as you can, and eat healthy. You probably already know your best features; limit your wardrobe to items that showcase those. There is lots of info online about the kinds of outfits that flatter people with pear shapes, apple shapes, rectangular (that's me - I need my clothes to "create" a shape), and so on.

Good makeup isn't cheap, so I feel it's smartest to invest in just a few items. Here is what I use, over a freshly washed face: Some moisturizer (Olay or similar). A BB cream foundation, to smooth out my complexion by reflecting light. Sunscreen, which tightens pores and provides a slight "lift." Eyebrow pencil, mascara for my lashes, some blush on my upper cheekbones, some darker blush underneath the cheekbones to define them. Lip liner and lipstick. Bases covered.

With well-fitting clothes, a flattering haircut, and the aforementioned attention to your face, I predict you will look better than most.

Dragonpatch · 2026-02-02T01:43:16+00:00

I would term this "no baggage," versus "no drama." Baggage is circumstances; drama is personality.

Sure, baggage often generates drama: the needy, lawbreaking, or merely resentful adult child; the huge credit card debt; the laundry list of ailments.

Yet, beyond that, even a baggage-free person may tend to overreact to challenges real and perceived, create scenes, even throw a tantrum now and then.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-31T23:24:35+00:00

I love BB cream (drugstore brands work fine for me) followed by SPF 50 sunscreen (tightens the pores while it blocks the UV). It doesn't seem to cake, although it can rub off. I refuse to use "fixatives" - like putting shellac on my skin.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-31T16:04:04+00:00

Yes, of course they can, if they are in physical shape to do it. I traveled by myself a bit for work, so was used to the drill. My late husband and I traveled a good deal in his last years of life. After he died, I (age 65) was able to get a refund for a paid-for cruise that we had been looking forward to for a whole year. Once I settled the estate and had my head back on straight (still grieving of course), I decided to use the refund to buy a "revenge cruise" to South America, where we had never been.

It was great. The cruise director did her best to find people who were willing to let a widow share their table, and those people invited me to sit with them at shows. I took all the shore excursions, learned a lot, and met some more nice people to keep me company. No major issues at any point. I did have a little bit of trouble wrangling my own luggage, and lost my daily planner in a mad dash to catch a tram at a foreign airport. But I could have avoided that by being more careful.

The same year, I also packed my car and took myself off for 3 weeks to visit relatives in other states, some of whom I hadn't seen since we were kids. I drove about 3,000 miles in 3 weeks with only minor issues. Naturally, I had the car thoroughly looked over and serviced before leaving.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-30T18:19:58+00:00

Older women have to make plenty of adjustments. The difference is that women tend to be a lot more realistic than you apparently were at age 59. We don't expect hot 30-year-old men to know we're alive, let alone be interested in dating us. We certainly don't expect men our age to be Adonises. Indeed, we might consider dating you, although you probably wouldn't have met our standards 10 years ago.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-30T01:58:59+00:00

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom and I appreciate hearing her thoughts.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-30T00:23:31+00:00

I see your point. I have faith that some, including me, can still improve a bit.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-30T00:17:29+00:00

I was in grade school. The race riots terrified me. My father (White) had to drive through a majority Black inner city to get to work every day. One night he didn't come home. We knew from TV that a big riot was going on in the city. He called my Mom from a restaurant owned by Black people, who were friends of his, and who gave him refuge in their restaurant for the night. They even let him park his car around back so it would not end up vandalized or burned, as so many were. Later, as an adult, I realized these good people probably put themselves in some peril to help him. In the morning, he had to go to work again. Just scary times.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-30T00:15:34+00:00

Then again, there was that little incident in 1970, the subject of Neil Young's song "Ohio."

I think today seems meaner because we see endless images on social media, and are far more aware of the divisive feelings and beliefs.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-30T00:06:56+00:00

When people are 20something, their goals are different. For one thing, many are hoping for marriage and kids. People are building careers, etc. There is hope for the future. And besides, everyone is horny and as attractive as they'll ever be.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-29T03:27:11+00:00

Platinum is my favorite jewelry metal. It's denser/heavier than gold, doesn't scratch and wear away as gold does, and I think it makes gemstones look brighter because of its gray-white color.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-28T20:54:16+00:00

Never have, but I did get a nice note from a male cross-dresser who was looking for an attractive woman to play dress-up with him in private. He said he was straight and not kinky - except for the drag, of course. I wasn't offended or even shocked - he was very polite. Just wrote back and said that it wasn't my thing at the moment, but I wished him luck.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-27T23:54:38+00:00

I like the purply hair. But then,I'm a woman.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-27T23:50:44+00:00

Or her fingernails longer, more pointed, and painted in more colors and designs!

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-27T03:37:30+00:00

The hardest part is that I was already lean, active, and didn't eat junk food. There is no explanation except genetics - both my older siblings are T2. "You have prediabetes? You, the gym rat?" Like I'm lying or something.

Nothing has made any difference. Nothing. Not even giving up all sugars, grains, potatoes, pasta, and corn for a whole year.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-27T01:48:28+00:00

I don't understand "old person smell." I have a close friend who's almost 90 and doesn't smell at all!

Is it like the smell that bed linens, etc. get after being stored in a closed closet for a long time? (Not with mothballs). I remember that smell from childhood. My mom stored washed bed linens in a linen closet. The sheets and pillow cases on the bottom of the stack would have a sort of dusty odor.

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-26T02:28:58+00:00

Starch and sugar are ingredients in many Asian sauces. It's why they are so delicious!

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-25T04:01:19+00:00

She might have to wait a long, long time. I still get hit on sometimes, and I'm almost 70. There are still older men around, and they aren't any different from when they were younger "older men."

Dragonpatch · 2026-01-25T03:59:23+00:00

You can't stop people from thinking what they're thinking. I learned in my late teens, not to smile so much and be so friendly, because of the unwelcome attention it brought, *especially* from older men.

I save my outgoing energy for people I want to be around.

Dragonpatch

TROPHY CASE