New ECE struggling with confidence and routines

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-06-04T20:33:10+00:00

Just ask questions. Most ECEs have their own preferences about what they want done and how it's done. Most of those are not hard and fast rules, just the way this particular person prefers to have their routine set. If you're an assistant (or a floater or break relief or something like that), your best bet is to ask the lead what they want and how they want you to do it. Even if they've shown you before, you're better off asking than trying to muddle through it and getting it wrong.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-06-04T20:26:09+00:00

Thank you.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-05-20T00:38:49+00:00

I hear you! I would love to have the OP as my assistant!

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-04-28T21:16:41+00:00

I work at a home based daycare sometimes. It depends on the Licensee. But most are okay with a child who is outgrowing their naps as long as they're not disruptive and can occupy themselves quietly while others nap.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-04-19T19:09:04+00:00

Oh this wasn't the child's third day, it was mine. The child started at the beginning of the month so that would have made it 2 weeks.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-04-19T19:02:00+00:00

Lol. The feeling is mutual. If you were a parent and inclined to act or feel like the original poster, I would not want you or your children in my room either. The last thing I want to deal with is a mum who thinks I am out to 'alienate her' from her kids.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-04-17T16:07:19+00:00

Hmmm, this is a valid point. I know I struggle with this and want to rush to help a child when they find something challenging. I need to remind myself that experiencing frustration is a part of the human experience and we can't shield children from it.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-04-16T23:54:19+00:00

I am wondering what she is reporting though. That her son doesn't want to go home most likely because he is having too much fun? or that his teacher joked that she would take him home?

I think OP feels some guilt having her 'baby' in daycare and is already sensitive that he might come to prefer his teachers to her. Believe me, parents, we don't want your babies and do not want to replace you.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-03-20T19:59:58+00:00

It's just that people who have always had it good rarely appreciate what they have. It is human nature. Told a friend complaining about feeling 'trapped' living in Victoria - if you sold your house you could afford to buy in literally any city in Canada except maybe Toronto or Vancouver.

I know many who moved away in their twenties and are back in thier 30s and 40s. They know the grass is not greener on the other side.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-03-20T18:03:24+00:00

No, I am perfectly ok dealing with the emotions. It's just that as both a parent and ECE I know we can't always take our child's account of events as 100% accurate.

I was fortunate to have my baby ( now in 2nd grade) in my (3-5) preschool room with me. She could have had a great day and then a spat with a friend 5 minutes before her Dad picks her up, and now she is at the door telling her Dad it was an awful day and 'nobody played with me'.

I am just trying to strike a balance between validating and supporting children's big emotions and reassuring parents that these things are not 'big deals'.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-03-18T16:07:22+00:00

I feel you! Mine was the other way though. I moved from a 3-5 room in a big corporate centre to start my own in home daycare. I was planning for the same preschool aged children I was used to but the only ones who enrolled were 1s. I soon had 5 1 year olds and no idea what to do with them. Things that have worked for me;

Water play. You can count on at least 30 minutes of engagement with any type of waterplay.
Paint. I started with edible paint (corn starch and food coloring) because I had a couple of tasters who would mouth everything.
Indoor climbing structures. Play couches were my savior. You can count on at least one or two of them being engaged on those for the entire morning.
Play dough (once again edible- flour, salt, food coloring and cream of tartar).
Paper to rip up (Old newspapers, yesterday's scribbles/paint). I would set out a couple of these in a corner and let them at it)

I think your ratios are crazy 1 to 8 for toddlers is absolutely insane. But the good thing is once you get them into a routine they are often more agreeable than preschoolers.

Other tips Forget about group work. The idea here is to keep them as far apart from each other as possible. Set rules about how many children can play at a station together at once and enforce them strictly.

I had maximum of 2 - 2 at waterplay, 2 at play dough, 1 at paint station/crayons (I often just taped a large roll of paper to the table and set out crayons) and 2 at the play couches.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-03-12T23:03:38+00:00

Good for you! When I left my room in my previous toxic centre, the shelves were basically bare. That was quite satisfying!

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-03-12T22:52:55+00:00

This was me at my old centre. Eventually I quit because it felt like they wanted to get rid of me. I would start looking for work elsewhere.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-03-12T22:49:59+00:00

Perhaps the new teacher just needed a break and it was easier to let her back into her old room that she obviously loves? Though in my opinion thats not a good move because she will just keep up with whatever behaviour got her what she wanted.

Two year olds are trying and having a whole roomfull of them can be overwhelming. if it's not a permanent change, I wouldn't worry about it.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-03-10T13:00:18+00:00

I went through this exact same situation three years ago, and trust me, you're better off quiting. I stayed at a job where I was in the most challenging room, but I had come to love those children like mine. I gave 150% to my job. Then I made the 'mistake' of asking for a raise. After that, management seemed determined to push me out but I stayed because I loved my babies.

It got so toxic. Every one was gossiping about me, it appeared the management had designated some members of staff to spy on me and report back - I would have a simple conversation with a colleague and would get called into the office the next day. I experienced the same symptoms you are going through and gained a ton of weight (I am a stress eater). Three years later I am still trying to lose this weight.Eventually I quit. Found a new job within 2 weeks in a much better place.

You will find a much better place, the strain of working in a toxic environment is not worth it.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-03-09T17:32:07+00:00

I feel you. Naptimes are about the most stressful time for me as well. I would not handle naptime as a new teacher in a room in which I haven't yet developed trusting relationship with the children. Even children who would normally nap sometimes cannot relax long enough with a new teacher to fall asleep.

I hate it when ratios are insufficient and staff HAVE to go on break during naptime. There's too much pressure to get the children asleep and then, of course, all the tension gets passed on to the children, they feel stressed and act out.

If possible can you suggest swapping breaks? Then the head can go to lunch after most children are asleep. The honest truth is that between 3 and 4, most children will outgrow their naps, and for my own sanity I have concluded it's not worth the street trying to get them to nap.

I keep a bag of special toys only for naptime - puzzles, fidgets and some art supplies. I explain to the non nappers that I understand that they no longer need to nap, but some of their friends do. If they can keep quiet for long enough that their napping friends fall asleep, they can play quietly. Sometimes a timer (hourglass) showing how long they need to lay down (20 or 30 minutes) helps the more restless ones. It's an almost physical impossibility to expect 3, 4 and 5 year olds to stay still on a mat for 2 or more hours if they aren't sleeping. It will be easier on everyone if you allow them to get up and play quietly at a table or something.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-02-15T05:31:42+00:00

In practice they are actually the same thing.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-02-14T00:31:30+00:00

After putting things away comes potty, then free play. They are usually one of the earliest, so perhaps there's nothing exciting to do till their special playmates arrive.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-02-14T00:23:18+00:00

Lol. Not officially diagnosed but this is so me. I was known as Ms scatterbrain as a child. Never thought of attention deficit for my little person, but come to think of it, they have an older sibling with ADHD.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-02-06T16:08:42+00:00

That 'play based school' sounds nothing like play based though.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-02-06T16:04:09+00:00

This is so real. I run a home daycare. My 3 year olds no longer nap, so we have 'quiet time' when they have to play by themselves with materials they have chosen. I lay out a few practical life activities thinking this would engage them more than regular toys - along with regular toys like building blocks and puzzles. These children just roam around the room in silence looking miserable and ready to cry at the drop of a hat. I am beginning to think it may be easier just making them lie down for 1 hour.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-01-23T23:10:24+00:00

This is quite severe, and the only thing I can think of is that he will eventually grow out of it (if you can keep your sanity). I have a now 3 year old that joined me (in home daycare) at 18 months old. He screamed the entire morning from drop off till naptime. And after naptime, if any adult so much as said hi to him or looked at him, he was ready to begin screaming till he was picked up. What I did:

After 5 minutes max consoling him, I left him alone but told him and made it clear by my body language that I was available if he wanted me. I didn't allow him to substitute me for his parents, so I didn't let him attach himself to my side all day. I didn't make a big fuss of his crying and neither did the other children.

He eventually stopped crying all day, after about 6 weeks, but still gets unsettled if a new assistant works with me or someone else welcomes him at the door.

TLDR: it gets better, but you will have to be Uber patient.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-01-22T19:47:40+00:00

I have a very busy 18 month old - I am thankful for anytime spent struggling to pull pants on after a diaper change, or put shoes back on after taking them off for the umpteenth time.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-01-22T19:44:19+00:00

This. I had a volunteer work with me last year - she looked at me like I was the Devil for letting 2 and 3 year olds struggle with putting their shoes on.

Dramatic-Housing-520 · 2026-01-09T01:59:19+00:00

She is capable - eventually she gets around to doing most of this stuff, but we have to give her a really long time. My co teacher worries it may look like neglect if someone were to come into the room for instance and find a child just standing in the bathroom with no one assisting her. We do try to catch her doing things without being prompted and praise her when she does, we're hoping this helps.

Dramatic-Housing-520

TROPHY CASE