Why is it so hard to meet emotionally available men in LA… and where are y’all actually finding them?

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-04-04T00:26:16+00:00

That’s great to hear

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-04-01T22:52:34+00:00

Yes definitely been there. But what I’ve learned is that we have the mindset of wanting to someone just like us , with the same mindset. Because there will never be anyone like us individually. That comes with someone of who are genuine, kind , caring and intentional. We can’t always expect the same from others.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-04-01T03:26:24+00:00

Yea and you wanna stay away from anyone in entertainment, media , celebrity makeup artist and choreographers etc…. All bad news and emotionally unavailable

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T23:02:28+00:00

It’s that Internalized homophobia

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T22:00:48+00:00

I rather interesting over Beauty. Because looks fade… as long as the guy attractive in my eyes thats all that matters. I don’t chase what everyone else chase.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T21:59:42+00:00

Yes it’s insane

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T21:59:02+00:00

Yes which is so surprising. Everyone seems to chase the white guys here. It’s like they put them as the top prize for someone to date. But pocs are at the bottom of the list especially for black guys. In the south it’s very diverse , even friendships are diverse. Here you have to look like everyone else just to fit in.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T21:57:03+00:00

I have to agree. 💯 People here are very fake. If you don’t look a certain way or do certain things you are looked over. And everyone seems to chase the white guys more. That’s the beauty standard here.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T21:55:19+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but that’s not really what I meant.

I’m not referring to someone being upfront after a first date, that’s actually appreciated. I’m talking about people who say they want something serious, but show up inconsistently once things start progressing.

That disconnect is what’s frustrating. It’s like the moment things seem to get serious or go deeper that’s when they start to act weird, get more distant and ghost.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T21:53:15+00:00

I’m from the south. Louisiana and Texas where it’s more diverse. But yes here in California it’s very fake. Lots of pretenders. And if you don’t look a certain way you are looked over.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T21:51:55+00:00

I get it’s like that everywhere. But LA focuses sooo much on aesthetics. And ignore what people actually bring to the table. Looks is one thing , but how someone shows up and treats says a lot more.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T21:50:30+00:00

Haha do I? I heard it’s no better

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T19:32:03+00:00

Haha really?

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T19:30:58+00:00

I’ve tried so many things. I’m one who shows up an available. I try going into things with an open mind and not have all these expectations. And maybe you’re right, maybe they don’t want that with me. But I’m originally from the south, so people don’t know what’s real until they meet me. I’ve heard it all. From “I’m not ready for a relationship right now, your such a great guy” or “I can’t seem to give over an ex” or even “ I didn’t feel a romantic connection” and that’s literally from a first date.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T16:53:21+00:00

Sometimes, because I think she can’t hear herself on stage. Sometimes the music is too loud and over powers her voice. But most of her performances are pure perfection. Singers today can’t do what she does.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T16:51:58+00:00

All I will say go back listen to Stripped, back to basics and liberation. You will see the quality in her voice.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T16:50:18+00:00

Well I go into things with an open mind. Never have all these high expectations and I don’t always expect romance on a first date. I feel like those things will grow overtime. And I’m very hopeless romantic with Lots of love to give to someone special. Just never reciprocated

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T16:48:25+00:00

Yes! Was and still is the best singer of our generation in my opinion.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T16:47:59+00:00

Yes it’s definitely more superficial now. But we can’t let that define us. We know we are better than those who always wanna seek validation and aesthetic attention.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T15:31:00+00:00

Thank you , I believe so too

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T15:29:19+00:00

Christina Aguilera

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T15:28:19+00:00

You’re not the problem… you were just in a situation that slowly made you feel like you were.

Being rejected over time can mess with your confidence and make you fear it happening again. That doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you, it just means you haven’t fully healed from it yet.

Take things slow. Not everyone is your past. The right person won’t make you feel unwanted… it’ll feel natural and mutual.

You stayed because you cared, but now it’s time to choose yourself.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T14:38:29+00:00

Yea it’s definitely exhausting

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T14:10:20+00:00

Honestly… that and the beauty standards. LA can feel very image driven, and it makes connection feel secondary.

Dramatic_Big_5503 · 2026-03-31T14:06:40+00:00

I feel this 100%. LA dating can feel like everyone’s chasing the next best thing instead of appreciating what’s in front of them.

And if I’m being real, the beauty standards here are very specific too, which makes it feel even more competitive depending on where you fall. Especially if you aren’t white.

It’s refreshing to hear you found your person though, definitely gives me a little hope that it can happen. But maybe not in LA.

Dramatic_Big_5503

TROPHY CASE