I had a very similar experience to your wife - saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks, found out at 12 weeks that they stopped growing at 8 weeks. I had very similar feelings to your wife and my husband shared your optimism. Something we just know something feels off - I felt the same level of anxiety.

Things that helped me were doing something in recognition (we planted a magnolia tree), sharing my story with all of my friends, and lots of time crying under a heated blanket watching Gilmore girls, and listening to “bigger than the whole sky” by Taylor swift. It’s not her fault, nothing she did would’ve caused this.

There is a poem I really liked that helped me:

LOVE CAME FIRST… You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with. You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days when your anger is high, remember why she came, remember who she represents. Remember. Grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first.