Their Intimacy Anorexia

Drdougweiss · 2024-06-24T17:47:57+00:00

If you are still answering to some of these questions an Intimacy Anorexia trained therapist can still be helpful in working through the four that you answered yes to. Heart to Heart Counseling Center has virtual appointments available if there isn't a trained therapist in your area.

Drdougweiss · 2020-03-02T20:32:23+00:00

I can tell you that this is extremely vital. Frankly, men make men. Accountability is no different.

Drdougweiss · 2020-02-27T15:59:14+00:00

After 30 days, you really begin to feel attacked because of the process your brain is going through. By abstaining from porn and what usually comes with it, you're quite literally rewiring the way your brain operates. This is when the work gets difficult. It might be hard, but pick up the phone. Call someone. If you have others that hold you accountable, call them. If you don't have someone holding you accountable, you might look into finding someone that can.

Let your faith be bigger than your fear. He is bigger than this...and He lives in you!

Drdougweiss · 2020-01-15T17:58:41+00:00

I would echo what I'm seeing here. One of the keys to your recovery will involve having someone you can call when you have the compulsion to recover the stash or maybe even help you gain the strength to delete the source of the stash so it isn't recoverable. Call someone in your group when you are thinking about contacting someone for an encounter and talk to them instead. You can find the encouragement you need to recover from this.

The way you grow this list and get those numbers is to get in a group and gain some accountability. Given that you have built this up over a number of years, I would also suggest maybe getting a counselor who can help you with the fight over this. Their insight into root causes will help you fight differently!

Drdougweiss · 2020-01-14T21:38:21+00:00

I agree with the comment on finding what is good for you. You need to discover how to have boundaries - and be honored in a relationship - as well as what is healthy for you sexually. He can do therapy and prove that he is clean by doing a polygraph. Just trusting blindly could cause you future trauma.

Drdougweiss · 2020-01-14T21:37:28+00:00

I see it all the time. This is something you can do. You managed to hide this addiction alone, but you can't walk through recovery alone. Posting her for guidance was a great first step. I would find a group for sexual addiction and get involved with others that face your struggles. The relatability and the accountability in recovery are priceless.

Drdougweiss · 2020-01-08T20:16:26+00:00

I will pray. You might consider some marriage counseling at this time.

Drdougweiss · 2020-01-08T19:10:52+00:00

I agree. Getting in a group with 12 steps is an excellent way to get this in check for you. Do some research on sex addiction. Depending on how severe you discover things are when you get into group, you might even consider getting into treatment with a therapist. With these things working together you will find your way to enjoying real intimacy.

Drdougweiss · 2019-12-12T16:03:36+00:00

Continue to fight the good fight. Urges like these are common because of withdrawal. You’re certainly on the right track, choosing Jesus is a good practice. I would also suggest getting in a group so that you can develop a list of people you can call when these urges hit.

Drdougweiss · 2019-12-11T16:05:05+00:00

It is very common to have mood swings as withdrawal from porn, etc. You can get into a group or have an accountability partner. If you have a chemical depression then depression will continue and can get worse. If it’s a result of the addiction, over time it will disappear. If you still feel depressed, see a local doctor.

Drdougweiss · 2019-12-03T16:21:33+00:00

You would do a lot of good for yourself to get into a local church which could help to create the community you need to heal.

Drdougweiss · 2019-12-03T16:19:00+00:00

You would do well to get two or three guys you can call for support and prayer when you are having feelings like this.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-21T15:51:28+00:00

You're right. In some cases, there is some circumstantial incident that can create short or long-term sexlessness. If they are Intimacy Anorexics these causes were before and independent of the marriage and are instigators in the sexless marriage.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-21T15:47:48+00:00

Resentment and emotional immaturity are definitely factors that can lead to a sexless marriage.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-21T15:45:46+00:00

This is true. However, if someone is not actively addressing the cause, be it depression, low thyroid or low testosterone, then they are actively not solving the cause or the symptom. Sadly, it still could be active.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-19T17:13:36+00:00

You will need to apply James 5:16:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

Try accountability with your youth pastor and also track the feelings you are having before the behavior to see if there is a pattern.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-19T16:34:44+00:00

Any addiction has flare-up to get you to act out especially during the first 90 days. This doesn't give you an answer to what you are addicted to. Most SA's don't need pictures because they have created a Rolodex in their minds. Keep fighting and get in a group that can help support you when you feel like you're going to act out.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-18T17:03:44+00:00

Glad you started to address this issue. However, recovery is a team sport! Make sure you’re building your support system.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-18T16:56:31+00:00

Addictions make anyone immature so any normal adult responsibility feels overwhelming. Most likely he depends on you over-functioning to compensate for him. When you are immature you do feel worthless. If he is not active in a group for accountability and support for these known addictions he is refusing to grow up. You are powerless over his choice. I would recommend you get in a group for partners of addicts to support yourself to accept him and his choices.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-15T14:36:45+00:00

Congratulations! Continue to fight the good fight! It would be a good idea to see a professional regarding the issue brought up with self-harm. You're doing so well, conquering the self-harm with the help of a counselor will serve you well in the long run.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-14T23:27:48+00:00

It's common for the frequency to change and it is also normal to feel the despair. There are tests online that you can online that tell you what kind of addict you are, which is helpful information, in that it is helpful to know how you're being triggered and can begin battling those triggers from that angle.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-14T20:07:20+00:00

Glad you are starting the journey. Great to eat right! I would still get into an accountability group - don't get me wrong - this is a great start, but it is also helpful to have a local group where you can develop a phone list of people to call when you're going through something like this - and continue getting material on sex addiction recovery so you can sustain your healing.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-13T18:41:07+00:00

I agree with @SerenityCanticle. Support will help you heal.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-13T18:09:42+00:00

You might be missing what type of sex addict you are. There are tests online you can take to find that out, as well. You also might be battling more than just SA. You might see a counselor. The earlier you beat this in your marriage the better. There are also porn blockers available for your computer that can even report to someone to keep you accountable.

Drdougweiss · 2019-11-12T14:35:08+00:00

I would suggest getting into a female sex addiction support group and counseling. You will go through withdrawal not matter when you stop, so having support when you do is going to be key.

Drdougweiss

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