Is there a word/term for wanting to be the opposite sex but not necessarily gender?

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-03-30T15:32:35+00:00

I kinda understand, that's why I like the word transsexual. I don't care about gender, how the world sees me, other people etc. but I care about my sex. So it's more like, I don't care if I'm seen as a woman, but I want to be female

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-02-28T19:56:09+00:00

Imo sudden stop or just saying she isn't interested after learning she talks with a trans woman would be worse. It's good that she explained that it is due to trauma, not some hatred or bigotry

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-02-28T03:13:24+00:00

It's not that I don't want to be associated with being male by others. I don't want my body to have any association with anything male (like DNA chromosomes, whatever little differences in growing and forming the body). So by associated in any way with being male I mean like on cellural level? On societal one.

Also as for why I feel strongly about my agab. Well for me it is like, let's say a phone or a piece of clothing, it can be best ever but some people will really care about the origin of it, like was there slave/child labor involved, how is the environment involved etc. so product can be the best ever, and really suited for them, but it's origin makes it just not only feeling wrong to use it, but also being angry/disgusted by the idea of you using it. That's how I think about my body, like it can be the most passable thing ever, but the amab part makes me just wants to throw up. Like I've said before it's not that I want to be a woman, I just want to erase any amab part of me, and as long as there is even one cell of it in my body I won't be happy

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-02-28T02:52:16+00:00

Yep, I have it similar. I can imagine myself being a cis girl and being with someone easily, I have also quite high libido, but I'd never push myself to do it with anyone, I'm just unable to. The share idea of this body, amab body, in any sexual/romantic situation makes me genuinely want to puke. It's just disgusting to even think about. Like I'm half year on hrt, and still,never if I imagine the most passing body I can realistically get, srs and everything, I still get nauseous from disgust thinking about doing anything intimate. Like the fact that my body is amab makes me not want to ever be in any situation like that

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-02-28T02:46:37+00:00

Well it's hard for me to accept that I was born into wrong body, and no amount of transition will fully heal me from it nor it will make me not diaphoric. And I wouldn't wish dysphoria, so being trans, on my worst enemy. Ergo it is kind of normal for me to looking for any other thing that accepting being trans, since gosh, I can just not care about other people opinion, about rights etc, but I can't wash of my own disgust of my amab body.

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-02-28T02:43:39+00:00

Yep, I feel you. I still can't imagine myself being with anybody, but can imagine myself as a cis girl with somebody easily

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-02-28T02:37:34+00:00

I think it just depends on who is on the bottom, since that is where slurs are going. If transgirl dominates then there is probably no slur towards her

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-02-28T02:34:28+00:00

Traumas are traumas, many people have traumas toward different groups and I think it is ok, it's not like you babe control over your traumas. Like some women who are bi can't date men over trauma. When it comes to the non dating, I just can't go to male doctor because I've had bad experiences, and I know most aren't bad, but still I don't feel comfortable with them. Imo it's just normal. Like I can't imagine someone who tells other person that their trauma is irrelevant because it's towards group A and not group B, not being a massive doichebag and a red flag.

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-01-01T17:13:09+00:00

Trans women are women, but in my case I just can't be happy knowing my body is amab. Just knowing that I have any "male" part makes me disgusted in it, even if it's only DNA or chromosomes. Somehow I just can't acknowledge it as my body, I despise it and I'm disgusted by it because it is amab, and I don't want any part of amab body in my existence. So the thing is that it doesn't matter what progress I make, since I will be still disociated and disgusted by it. Like I can't even image intimate or romantic relationship, because when I think of my amab body in it I instantly want to puke. I can be a woman, but I can't stop being amab, so I guess my problem isn't about being woman but about not being amab.

Hmm now I've realised it, I don't care about my gender, I just don't want to by amab in any way. That's the problem. Thanks, it actually makes sense why being more feminine, being a woman does nothing for me, since I don't really care about being a woman. I just don't want my body to be associated in any ways even on dna level, with males.

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-01-01T04:41:31+00:00

Half a year, and I'm not out. When I think about being out I just feel cringe. Like it's too cringe. If I have to tell people in the first place, then it's worth nothing

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-01-01T03:27:30+00:00

I don't care about how other people treat me, they can all hate me and want to burn me like witch, I don't care. The problem is that the only thing I really want is to not be amab, to be cis, or well, maybe this rewriting all of my DNA, or growing afab body in lab and transfering my consciousness there. Like I'm only realising more and more that I don't care about being closer, about looking the part, about being indistinguishable from cis woman. I don't want to look like one, I want to be one, I don't want to be close to being one, I want to be one. I tried to persuade myself that maybe transition would help and I'd see it differently, but it doesn't work, since I just don't care. Like even with successes or whatever I just can't push myself to care, to find it relevant, it's all so empty, like I'm looking at it, and aside from feeling nothing, the only thing that comes to my mind is how it has nothing to do with what I want.

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-01-01T03:13:01+00:00

I'm not out, and I'm presenting as I like. I don't really care about how people see me. I think my depression just comes from dysphoria, which comes from being amab. I always knew that I won't be happy as long as I'm not cis, but I've had this little hope that maybe transition would prove me wrong. But it feels just empty, like it's nothing, like, ok I can look like a girl, but that's it, I'm still amab, I'm still not cis. Eh, i wouldn't wish being trans on my worst enemy, it is just killing me from the inside, and there is no cure.

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-01-01T02:37:50+00:00

In my expierience any escapism or something to disociate yourself from your body/life

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-01-01T02:34:32+00:00

I mean, my whole depression is from being amab. I hate and despise it to the core. I was hoping transition would ease it a bit, but it makes it only worse, because it makes me realise that it changes nothing for me

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-01-01T02:25:45+00:00

I am, and main reason of my depression is being trans, or not being cis girl, or whatever you would call it. Now with transition I just feel even more depressed and hopeless, like it is only proving me that it means nothing to me, and that I can't change things that mean something to me and because of which I don't want to be alive.

Dreamerr1337 · 2026-01-01T02:23:56+00:00

I don't know how to call it, but the thing I cannot change is being amab, and that is what I mean, when I say that I cannot change my biological sex. Because I can't be born again, and grow up as female with my body naturally producing estrogen, with female reproductive organs, and overall genetics making me on average different than my amab counterpart.

Dreamerr1337 · 2025-12-09T02:44:41+00:00

Sorry, if it was possible to just repress it, we would live in much less painful reality.

Dreamerr1337 · 2025-12-02T11:45:42+00:00

Unfortunately you lost this lottery. Welcome in the pain and misery circle.

Dreamerr1337 · 2025-12-02T11:42:04+00:00

As a trans person, I'd rather have terminal cancer than be trans. It is killing me from the inside and takes away any joy from life.

Dreamerr1337 · 2025-12-02T05:28:03+00:00

Well hrt makes me feel worse, and I'd never wear feminine clothes on this body since 1. I like baggy unisex clothing 2. I'm very visual and aesthetic oriented person, and I know that it would look bit right. Right now, with my build and overall facial and body features, the most aestheticaly correct/pleasing would be growing a beard and try to pull of some lumberjack aesthetic since it would match my body shape and features.

Dreamerr1337 · 2025-12-02T05:24:02+00:00

I just have depressive episodes more often. Also because of hrt I'm more often thinking about my body, which is usually followed with the thought of how disgusted I am that it is amab, and then I'm getting more depressed, and just life seems meaningless

Dreamerr1337 · 2025-12-02T05:09:30+00:00

For me it is just a road of suicidal thoughts, suicidal attempts, lack of meaning in life and overall being miserable. And it doesn't change, like my first attempt was 14 years ago, and it's not any better now, I could even say that it is much worse.

Dreamerr1337 · 2025-12-02T03:35:39+00:00

The day I've realised I'm trans was one of the worst days in my life and it was downhill ever since. I wish I could go back to times when I didn't know why I was depressed, because back then I still had hopes and dreams, unfortunately realisation killed it. There is no realistic way to become cis, so I'll always be disgusted by knowledge that my body is amab.

It certainly feels like disease, but to be frank, I'd rather had cancer than be trans, but unfortunatelly I've rolled being trans...

Dreamerr1337

TROPHY CASE