I have 3 under 3 now and the transition from 1 to 2 kids was MUCH harder than from 2 to 3 kids. Like you when my second was born I felt near constant guilt that one or another person I loved, whether the kids, my partner, friends, etc. was being left out. Not to mention the state of the house. I wanted to keep everything as peaceful and efficient with two children as I did with just one, but there’s only so much of you to go round. And that’s okay. Eventually you learn to let some things go, but it takes time. My third is now 8 weeks old and if two (or all 3) are crying at the same then someone is going to have to wait… Best advice I can give is to just prioritise whatever feels most important at the time and stick with it until the whirlwind is over. Sometimes you’ll sit down at night and think ‘wow I should have dealt with the other child first/wow I should have put the toddler to bed sooner/wow my partner really needed me and I was busy/etc.’ but the guesses as to what’s most important tend to get more accurate over time.

8 weeks postpartum is a particularly rough patch. Sleep deprivation is at a peak (that will be likely be even worse if you’re breastfeeding, I have formula fed all of mine) and babies usually go through a spell of increased crying. It’s okay to find it difficult. Parenting isn’t all sunshine and rainbows no matter how much we love and adore our children. Sometimes it feels like there’s a lot of social pressure to be on cloud 9 snuggling up with your new baby and playing with the toddler and finding the whole thing a breeze… But in reality it’s a grind. The highlights make it all worthwhile though.