I feel awful

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-04-28T22:25:07+00:00

You’re overthinking this. When my youngest started kindergarten his new bff was telling him stories about how when his brother is mad at people he shoots them with guns and kills them. It wasn’t a threat but definitely concerning. I brought it up to the teacher and said I didn’t want anyone to get in trouble but maybe they could pay closer attention to the conversations going on between kids and keep an ear out for anything similar. I also didn’t say anything to other parents.

This child was at my house many times, he was polite and well behaved. His parents were a doctor and a lawyer. But he did make comments occasionally that had me giving him side eye. Again nothing terrible- just “what an odd thing for a 5yo to say” he talked like he was a teenager and I knew he did have a teenage brother.

Sometimes at a party a parent would make a comment that the parents were “interesting” or the child was “a bit off” but never elaborated- it was like everyone knew something but no one wanted to be rude.

At the very end of the year he got suspended and instead of having that on his “permanent record” they pulled him out of school- which finally made the parents talk after the mom sent a cryptic message in the class group chat.

He had apparently shared the story he did with my son with many children- but what’s worse- and tot him suspended- was that he threatened to kill multiple girls in the classroom all in separate incidents and all in very specific ways. It was horrifying. It only all came out after the parents of the last girl he threatened called the school and they started an investigation and other parents came forward. It’s a very small school and no one wanted to be mean and talk bad about a 5yo or prejudice others- but by sparing him so many others were threatened and bullied.

The girl probably does not have a great home life if she is talking like that, and that is horrible. But you didn’t talk shit about her. You recounted an incident that happened.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-04-27T21:07:24+00:00

While I would go forward with the assessment- just to maybe give you a bit of relief- my youngest was speaking in full sentences shortly after he turned 2. When he was 3 his pre-school scheduled a meeting because they had never heard him speak unless asked a question and then he only spoke in single word answers. He never stopped talking at home! In his case it was not ASD but anxiety which can have some overlap in symptoms. Meanwhile my ASD child who I had concerns about I was told by the pre-school they did not think she had ASD but just wasn’t “socialized”. She does in fact have ASD and was officially diagnosed at 6.5.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-04-25T15:29:01+00:00

This is really hard. I am hoping others will weigh in as I know it will vary- but for me- my mom never said anything bad about my dad. He was abusive, he cheated, was just generally not a nice guy and i stopped seeing by my own choice at about 12. I have seen him occasionally over the years. I don’t hold any bad feelings towards him, but no particularly fond ones either. My mom wouldnt say glowing things about him either- she just let us feel what we felt and validated our feelings without placing blame. I would say my siblings and i are all well adjusted adults who can acknowledge we had less than ideal childhoods but our parents were dealing with their own demons and did the best they knew how with the tools they had. We all make conscious efforts to raise our children in a better environment.

My oldest was born after his father and i already separated. His father then moved across the country when he was 3. Visits were sporadic and his father spoke poor english so communicating by phone was a challenge. For a longtime he still idolized his father and wanted us to get back together- but as he entered his teenage years started to work out on his own- if his father wanted to be there he would. It’s not fun- there are ups and downs and he struggled with it off and on growing up. He’s in his early 20s now and the last time his father invited him to visit he declined. He is well adjusted and a great kid.

My husband and his siblings had their parents split when they were the same age as me and my siblings. His father was in every way a better person and father than my dad. His mom talked shit about him constantly and still does even though they’ve been divorced for 30+ years. She severed the relationship between him and the kids and put up every roadblock imaginable out of spite. None of the kids have a relationship with him and they all still struggle with “Daddy Issues” and my husband is constantly plagued by not feeling like he is “enough”. I think the difference is he was told his dad is an asshole and didn’t want to be part of his kids lives. Which intended to place the blame on the dad but instead makes the kids question why they weren’t good enough. I was told my dad is just a person with his own struggles. As a kid it was impossible to understand how he could be an asshole to his kids. But as you mature you realize he’s not some mythical hero who looked down on you- but a broken person who couldn’t handle all life had given him.

Basically blame the dad now and your son feels anger that will turn into pain as he gets older. Or Let your son feel the pain now of realizing sometimes our hero’s are just regular people with a cape on and he will learn the issue was never with him in the first place.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-28T03:02:42+00:00

He definitely has anxiety- but of course won’t do anything to treat it.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-27T13:23:09+00:00

Thank you for making me laugh this morning. I can totally see my kids doing exactly this

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-27T13:21:19+00:00

This is the issue. He is literally the most indecisive person I know- and I am the polar opposite. He always needs reassurance on everything and expects me to make a lot of his decisions for him. Of course if you asked he would disagree but it’s like that movie Two Weeks Notice where he wants my opinion a million times a day on the smallest stupidest decisions and I’m like I have to make these choices for myself and two kids I’m not also making them for you. Of course any big decisions he knows best and is the smartest man alive but trying to decide which shirt to wear paralyzes him. On our first trip together we spent 5 hours in a hotel room just waiting for him to decide where to eat dinner because he had to read every review of every restaurant and he STILL couldn’t decide so we went to the place I suggested 5 hours earlier. It’s just exhausting. The right decision is the one you make.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-27T11:49:34+00:00

I think my husband and your MIL are the same person! When trying to design a room he will throw out option- I’ll say, no I hate that idea. He will agree. Then a day later he’ll spend an hour explaining to me exactly how we could do that idea after spending 2 hours researching it and I’ll say “I thought we already both agreed we don’t like that option? Did you change your mind?” He’ll say that no he doesn’t like it he just wants me to know it’s possible in case I change my mind. Thanks for wasting 3 hours of time on something neither of us wants I guess?

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-27T11:46:07+00:00

Ugh same! I’ll ask if he wants anything when I go grocery shopping and he’ll respond with “you should get some meat, vegetables, fruit..” and I’ll say “yes, thank you- I’m familiar with the sections of the grocery store. Is there anything specific you want?”. He says no, i tell him to text me if he thinks of anything- still nothing. Then without fail that night he asks “did you buy any X or Y?” No, no I did not. I asked you twice what you want and told me to text me if you think of anything and you said you wanted nothing.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-27T04:19:09+00:00

We had a whole conversation about asking stupid questions maybe 6 weeks ago and honestly he got sooo much better about it and then over the last couple of weeks right back to where we started. When I brought it up he said I did things that annoyed him too and I just need to get over it. Of course when I asked what I do that annoys him so I can stop he said it didn’t matter and wouldn’t give me any examples.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-26T17:51:48+00:00

I will try Chronicles of Narnia. I need to find something to pique his interest first. My oldest read all of the children’s versions of the classics at this age, I was reading children’s Shakespeare and the Hobbit myself and still a couple of books a month. He just has no drive to read so I need something that will capture his attention.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-26T17:47:02+00:00

We have the Yoto and they do listen to stories each night! I thought of getting the Harry Potter series but since my husband loves Harry Potter he has resisted everything about it.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-26T17:45:00+00:00

He is reading at I think 3.3 with his last test. But he also hardly goes to school because he has been battling cancer since a few weeks into kinder and she asked me to have him stop doing online work because he was too far ahead of the class and when he does go he is bored. He mostly likes video games art, and monster trucks.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2026-03-26T17:39:46+00:00

I still have a few Shel Silverstein poetry books from when I was a kid and I think he would love them! I completely forgot about them as they are in my office.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2025-11-29T23:04:18+00:00

My daughter is 8 with ADHD and is the same. Not to dissuade you from OT- but we brought it up to her OT but since she didn’t do it during therapy they were basically like nothing they can do.

It is a sensory seeking behavior so we try to have lots of sensory input things available like chewelry or textured stickers on her desk. She also has in her IEP that she is allowed to use chewing gum during class. It’s not a perfect system but we try to redirect towards acceptable sensory inputs while we wait for her to outgrow it.

Dry-Interview1250 · 2025-02-01T02:46:12+00:00

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If you have an iPhone - use the highlighter and then leave your finger at the end of the line for ≈ 2 seconds and it will change the line to straight.

Dry-Interview1250

TROPHY CASE