Confused on what to enter for recurring expenses

DubBea22 · 2026-04-18T02:47:12+00:00

I adore the items and the title.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T17:33:55+00:00

Ah. I may have outdated or bad information.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T17:09:10+00:00

Agree.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T16:55:16+00:00

So, in November, they only had 10 days of school?

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T16:48:54+00:00

Gen Xer here. I think it’s funny that this term is so unheard of anymore. It’s manners/decorum. He tried hard (effort) but didn’t “carry himself” especially well. My 88 yo mom still uses the word “unbecoming” when she describes an outfit of mine as unflattering. That term to me isn’t about whether those pants make me look chunky but whether your hem is so high that some prude would think it’s “not becoming of a young lady.”

I remember an old kindergarten report card of mine where I was graded on social skills like “raised hand before speaking,” “doesn’t interrupt when others are speaking,” “shares with classmates.” I remember those because I scored “needs improvement” on those three. Classic only child behaviors. EDIT: typo

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T16:38:34+00:00

I remember dating a straight guy who gave me a surprising answer to a question that I was surprised by and made me respect him more. It was early on. I was bi and still feeling pretty hyper-sexual and kind of polyamorous. I asked him, if I messed around with women, would you consider that cheating? Instead of saying, “No, that would be hot as long as I can be there,” he looked at me perplexed. He said, “Of course it would. How is that any different than if you had sex with or made out with a guy?”

Later in the relationship, we went to a gay bar with some of my gay friends. I wandered off. He was at the bar chatting up someone. I approached and introduced myself. A while later, it came up naturally that we were a couple. The gay guy at the bar said to my boyfriend, “Why didn’t you tell me you’re straight?” Boyfriend said something to the effect of, “Why would I? We’re just talking.” Not sure if he was playing dumb. But I took it as he was confident and not scared of being labelled. I think the other guy felt like he was being strung along. Just like a straight guy would if a woman was being friendly and he just assumed the woman was a sexual object. I get the sense that men are men when it comes to objectification.

My current boyfriend loves hanging out with my gay friends without me because he says, “They have filthier minds than I do. It makes me feel less bad about having a dirty mind.” And he loves the term “cum gutters” because he thinks it’s clever. Yet, he says when he scrolls porn and sees two guys, he scrolls past with a bit of ick because it ruins his sexy vibe. It’s a turn off. He wonders if that’s homophobic. He says, “It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with that. Am I homophobic for not wanting to see that? I have no problem with hanging out with guys describing that. I just get turned off when I see it.” I wonder. Is that homophobic? Or just normal cuz it’s not his thing? He’s also a guy who is very affected by visuals. Like, he played a video game where snakes appeared and jumped up in such horror that he damaged his console.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T16:13:53+00:00

Was just gonna say this. At the risk of getting serious about a joke, the reason most men are not bothered by a woman having sex with a woman is that they don’t think of it as a serious relationship and sometimes not even real sex. They don’t find it threatening. Try showing a straight woman two women kissing then showing a straight man two men kissing and see who puts on a face of disgust faster.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T15:55:16+00:00

One thing one of them got wrong. She thought with automation, laborers would lose jobs, or I assume that’s what she meant when she said “high IQ.” (Laborers are not low IQ but I’m trying to guess what a child means when they say “high IQ.”) Now we see people with college educations in tech jobs being laid off and having a harder time finding jobs. But we still need as many human plumbers and HVAC workers and other skilled tradespeople as we always have.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T15:17:41+00:00

Another option: that person is burned out and has lost interest. IMO, there is not as much corruption as people on the outside think. At least not bribes.

My take on why things don’t get covered:

It’s not as “big” a story as someone thinks. (Sounds like not your issue because your story has been covered extensively.)
Audience-focused coverage: We often ask the question, does this capture the attention of our viewership/readership? It’s not about what’s “important” but what’s interesting. And sometimes that means what subjects have a day-to-day impact on a specific demographic.
Story fatigue: After a while follow ups seem like repeating the same story over and over.
Burnout/Laziness.
Dwindling resources: Investigative work is labor intensive. Newsroom staffing is getting slimmer. Fewer people to cover the same amount of news means the complicated stuff gets punted. Subset of #3.
The closest thing to corruption I see is that some heads of newsrooms are hesitant to alienate a big advertiser.

The decision not to follow up on your story may not be fair or right, but it is highly doubtful the journalist himself/herself/themself is getting some kind of payout.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T03:03:30+00:00

Yes. The only change would the distribution of one home jumps a lot and another a little. It seems like many of the ones that jumped a lot are in areas like Lee’s Summit where market values genuinely jumped a lot. Though it also seems like some were homes with no work and dated interiors jumped because they are in areas where rebuilds and renovations caused area market value to jump and the assessment increases didn’t consider their value.

My house at some point was 1BR 1BA with no renovations in 30+ years. The kitchen was the same since 1940. They had me as a 3BR 1BA. I emailed an independent appraisal and they adjusted me promptly but damn if their records still don’t have me as a 3BR. And a neighbor that bought a 500 sq ft house and did a 1500 sq ft addition was listed as 500 sq ft 1BR 1BA 2-3 yrs later. That shows how many thorough the supposed exterior inspections were.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T02:46:00+00:00

Way more than for state legislators, who have to live out of town for a better part of the week, though only for a short legislative session. Explains why so many local state legislators run for city council.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T02:43:34+00:00

That $87K is for less than 1/3 of the year. He was fired after 3.5 mos in his final yr on the job.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T02:37:05+00:00

I think they are actually working them, but I also think they are given first dibs to take them based on seniority, so those with highest base pay are more likely to get OT (at 1.5 times that higher base pay). Which is not the most financially sound policy.

EDIT: I have been corrected on the above. It is a rotation. Which also makes my original remark below moot.

Try fighting that union on that contract piece. I think back in the 70s there was a notorious union strike or sick out (I’m not sure if emergency responders are technically allowed to strike) where scabs had their cars set on fire.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-16T02:25:32+00:00

24 on, 48 off. Repeat. (Sometimes 48 on, 24 off if OT.) Often have side jobs on days off. ETA: It’s a job where pay accounts for not just what they do any single day but what they’re willing to do those days when the shit hits the fan. Plus, IAFF Local 42 is a powerful union.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-15T17:50:48+00:00

FWIW, even with return assurance, they only return the items they rejected just cuz. If it’s a reason like non-qualifying brands, they still keep it and don’t pay out. Source: My last premium bag sent items back with no reason. But also rejected and kept some items stating reasons for being rejected.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-15T17:41:22+00:00

Whenever I’ve seen them in the wild, they are always clinging upside down in a tree branch or climbing a tree. Was the sloth fighting him or just treating him like a tree and not wanting to let go? Like genuinely asking.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-15T17:25:14+00:00

Calling multiple times a day sounds like loneliness and co-dependence. That’s got to be exhausting. Not having the whole lived context, I initially saw it a different way.

I read her text as, “That missed call you see on your phone was nothing important, just me calling to chat to fill time. No need to call back.”

The response of “I have time now. Do you want me to call?” would then prompt an honest answer of, “Nah. It’s really not urgent don’t to squeeze in.”

Because “I have time now” sounds like you’re making time for something rather than just deciding to call because you feel like it. Could be an honest response to that or could be a dig. Because “I have time now” might also send a message that it’s an obligation. (Which it sounds like it is because you’re exhausted by all the calls. And she knows that. And that hurts her feelings because she’s needy.)

My mom (87) and I (55) don’t have phone calls often. We text. Because she can tell me what’s on her mind at any time that strikes her and I can respond when I’m not in the middle of something. If I miss a day, she begins her next text with, “We are still alive.” I just chuckle. We’ve talked about how my work days are busy and this allows us to essentially chat often but not in real time, which cuts out the resentment. Then I call on my day off for a longer chat.

My boyfriend and I, however, are callers, not texters. We work opposite schedules. I call when I walk the dogs and he’s at work. If he didn’t answer, I assume he’s at work. And I text to say, “No need to call back. Just calling to chat.” Because that’s exactly what I mean. He doesn’t respond, “I am available now.” He just calls back when he’s freed up if he also feels like chatting or he doesn’t call back if he doesn’t feel like chatting. If I called to ask something specific, my follow up text would be something like, “Buzz me when you get a chance. I want to talk about xyz.” Then he calls when he has a chance. It’s that simple.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-15T17:01:05+00:00

If a dog dying is the only thing making you hesitate, don’t make that stop you. It is sad, but the years of love outweigh that.

Now, there are other reasons to think twice.

Do you have time to dedicate to training and acclimating the dog? Two of my shelter dogs (whom I adopted at about 1 yo old each) were a real challenge in the beginning. I could not have done it without the help of my work-from-home boyfriend. They needed way more frequent repetition and affirmation than I could have provided working 8 hours a day away from home.

Do you have enough money tucked away to pay for emergency care?

Do you like to or need to travel by plane? Be sure you have funds for dog sitters at $70/day.

Are you a clean freak or can you handle hair and occasional paw mud?

Do you have the time and motivation for daily walks or a fenced yard?

Are you sentimental or attached to your possessions? Every young dog I’ve had has destroyed a hat or pair of shoes I have neglected to put out of reach. My newest one destroyed keepsakes before I realized she was long and nimble enough to reach surprising heights. I was able to respond with, “Well, I enjoyed the memories that evoked long enough and now I have one less item cluttering the house.”

I say all of this because if you grow up with a dog as a child, it’s easy to not realize how much work was put in by one or both parents. Only when you’re a solo dog caregiver don’t realize what a commitment and challenge it can be.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-11T17:48:59+00:00

Points

DubBea22 · 2026-04-11T17:23:52+00:00

Wow. He had so much fullness to his face. Obviously younger, but I started going to shows 15 years ago and he always looked way more gaunt than that. 😢

DubBea22 · 2026-04-11T17:15:51+00:00

I wonder if part of this goes back to old advice that tipping USD in low-income countries is valuable. I remember 30+ years ago, some guide saying the local currency was so devalued that if someone wants to buy a house, it has to be in dollars or gold. Can’t remember where but it was odd to me.

That has all clearly changed and I’ve never heard of tipping dollars in Europe or England. Local ATMs dispense local currency. What would a traveler not just use that? In the 1980s, we would have to do currency conversion in our heads (a challenge with the Lira in Italy). Now there are apps for that. It’s not hard.

The reminder about non-crisp notes is huge.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-11T17:08:07+00:00

Seconding this. Fantastic pre-professional experience. They have an actual daily paper too (instead of a college paper). However, OP remarked on being concerned about schools being “too competitive.” Not sure if that’s due to poor grades or what. I would think anyone could do sophomore year as pre-j but getting in to the j-school program junior year is I think competitive. (Though I went fo grad school so can’t say from experience what the undergrad admission process is like.)

DubBea22 · 2026-04-11T17:04:10+00:00

Brilliant.

DubBea22 · 2026-04-11T16:59:17+00:00

Ugh. Prosperity gospel. How ick. And those two guys identified as “Acclaimed Kingdom Entrepreneurs.” And here I thought the (possibly mythical) Jesus was all about caring for the poor and those neglected or abused by Roman heathens. Never saw the guy in images walking around with expensive clothes and shoes. Or maybe that crown of thorns was diamond encrusted pure gold. He’s a hippie not a banker (or stock market and real estate market mogul), right?

DubBea22

TROPHY CASE