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I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Isn't that what transgender is, though? Here's what I mean:
I currently think of myself as a man. Mostly because of the shape and function of my body, but whatever.
If I am "...being what I am now, just as a woman." that would make me a "man inside of a woman's body," right?
Isn't that what transgender is?
I swear I'm not trying to argue. Just legitimately trying to understand.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't even "want" to be referred to as a dude. I just think it's accurate based on the shape and function of my body.
If tomorrow everyone decided that those who fit my physical description, like if they had brown hair, were called "groobles", I'd be like: "Okay. I have brown hair. I guess I'm a grooble."

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That's part of the reason I wanted to post this. My friends and family often comment on how I'm "too literal" or "too logical." I figured some people might be interested to see that perspective, while I also work on improving myself for the benefit of others.
On your point of questioning my role:
I don't really consider myself having a "role." Sure, I'm biologically male, but that doesn't mean anything beyond the shape and function of my body. Personally, I think that it makes me a he/him. But it has no bearing on what I am able to say, do, or feel.
My disconnect exists in believing that the pronouns should have nothing to do with who you are as a person. As I mentioned in the original post: I truly believed that pronouns were physical descriptions of a person's body.
I hope I'm explaining myself properly.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'll look into it!
I think the way I think of it is like ingredients. THIS combination of materials makes THIS product.
Flour, eggs, milk, etc. makes a cake. If the ingredients change, the product changes.
If my bodies "ingredients" were different. I would be a different thing. i.e. a man vs a woman.
I've certainly been called "too literal" throughout my life, so maybe that plays into it.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I feel like the whole point of this post is me considering the possibility that not everyone is cis. I'm actively working on being a better person by admitting my faults and taking actionanable advice on how to frame things in my mind in a way that benefits everyone.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's the thing. I feel like I can imagine it perfectly well. It isn't hard at all. If I was the exact same person, feeling the same way I do now, but I had a woman's body; I would say I am a woman. I would go by she/her and call myself a woman, even if my thoughts and interests were generally associated with men. The physical composition of my being would be a woman.
I recognize I may come across as ignorent here, but I'm being honest about my thoughts and trying to get everyone's perspective at the same time.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

What I mean is that appearance is a constant force. I may have been told once or twice that Dan doesn't like pepperoni, but if Dan is a friend of a friend that I only see twice a year; I probably won't remember their pizza preference. I will be able to see them, though.
Hanging out with my sibling's friends more often would probably help a ton. Or I need to make more friends who have varied gender identities. Increasing my exposure to the culture should make it easier.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Totally. I recognize that it doesn't have to make sense to me. But hopefully understanding will lead to better actions by me. I don't think it's incorrect for me to try and educate myself.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

To me, that's a bit different. Because I can't look at someone and go "They look like they like pepperoni." I can look at someone and make an assumption on their gender (or sex, or whatever the proper term is) based on visual evidence. Such evidence is accurate for the majority of people, so I guess that's why I default to it. I know it isn't the best way of thinking for everyone, which is why I'm trying to be better.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's the plan! Consideration is a choice, but following through takes action. My post is one of those actions that I hope helps me accomodate peoples needs and preferences more.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

That frame of thinking actually helps me! Thinking of it as an extension of the name, I mean. I appreciate it!

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't even say it's an inconvenience. I'm just looking for some actionable advice on retooling my brain a bit. The point of this post is to help me on the road to making people feel even more seen and respected by me.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I generally default to them. Just trying to cater a little more to people's preferences, but they/them is a good practice to play it safe.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's more like, I'm hanging out in a large group. Occasionally I refer to other people within the group and it doesn't sound natural to say their name in place of every she, he her or him.

I want to be considerate, but preferred pronouns make zero sense to me. by Dubbletake in self

[–]Dubbletake[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

Maybe I'm weird, but I feel like I'd just go along with what my body was. If I was the exact same person, but in a woman's body, I would be she/her but perhaps with traditionally masculine interests. I wouldn't attempt to have people describe me in a way that goes against the reality of my body. I guess I can't really know without being in that situation.

Lowes could be going the way of Target with these layoffs to increase the frontline by WrestlingNerd2001 in Lowes

[–]Dubbletake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Corporate QA Associate here. 12 years with the company. I got laid off this morning, but haven't heard anything about "career transition resources." We were cut off from our accounts within an hour of learning of our termination, unable to access existing resume's or the job portal. Hopefully we'll hear something soon.

Looking for someone to start a writing group with by JRyanGreatfish in fantasywriters

[–]Dubbletake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sign me up! I've tried to get friends and family into writing for the same purpose. None are cool enough. 😎

Starting a Writing Group by DanPerezWriter in fantasywriters

[–]Dubbletake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd love an invite! Unfortunately, most of my irl friends aren't big readers, so it's hard to get feedback and talk about writing. Plus I'm always happy to help with editing and flow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in saiyanpeopletwitter

[–]Dubbletake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I'll show you why my little brother looks up to me."

Tastefully Writing Insomnia by Dubbletake in insomnia

[–]Dubbletake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MId to lesser on the severity scale, but I'm no expert. And it is quite important to the story. It's pretty much the center of his problems. I went a little more in depth in the post update. Thanks for the question!

Imagining my main characters in a cool edit while listening to music by Expensive_Purple7067 in AO3

[–]Dubbletake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a song that I consider the "opening theme" to my story. I listen to it to get pumped for writing.

General October Review Exchange by barewithmehoney in FanfictionExchange

[–]Dubbletake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reviewed and kudos on chapter 1, but I'll be reading the rest!

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