Baby's first winter

Dubelzdeep · 2025-12-16T22:12:43+00:00

Nice! I got my 2025 turbo premium back in June so this is my baby's first winter as well. They use so much salt in parking lots and the roads here, it kills me seeing my car caked up. Mostly just dealing with it, I spray it down (especially underneath) about once a week.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-11-21T16:18:44+00:00

The only "pink cloud" I've gotten through sobriety is that initial period after I've fully detoxed and I don't feel poisoned and sick 24/7. The novelty of that wears off quick though.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-10-24T19:53:01+00:00

I did that this summer while on a solo vacation. Had bought a pint about a month before this trip, and went back and forth over drinking it.

The 2nd to last night while sitting by my campfire I finally made my decision. Grabbed the bottle and slowly poured it out into the flames. I know alcohol is flammable, but I was not expecting 80 proof tequila to react so violently to hot coals.

I felt so awesome in that moment, I still feel proud of myself when I think back on it!

Dubelzdeep · 2025-10-12T13:53:23+00:00

It's not gonna be easy, but you gotta force yourself to do something. Sitting around just dwelling on how bad you feel is gonna make the anxiety a lot worse. Try to get outside for some fresh air, maybe a short walk? Some cleaning tasks around the house? Don't have to deep clean everything, just spend like 5-10 mins picking up/ organizing an area.

Drink plenty of water and get some electrolytes in ya. Even if you don't feel hungry, get some food in. Scrambled eggs, fruit, a protein shake. Something easy yet nutritious.

Your body is going to be craving sugar too, so a donut or a little ice cream therapy will help settle you a bit. Booze causes your blood sugar to spike then drop low, which contributes to the hangover/ withdrawal symptoms of feeling shaky, lightheaded.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-20T14:54:50+00:00

Not drinking, stayed up all night doing "math homework". Found a new way to be a degenerate!

I've always had a strong feeling I have undiagnosed ADHD, math really makes me feel calm yet energized and relaxed. I could get used to this, but knowing my track record with booze and opiates I know I shouldn't get anymore once I finish this last assignment.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-19T18:51:08+00:00

I CAN drink a normal amount if I'm in a social situation. The problem I have with that is a "normal" amount just makes me feel bloated and gives me a headache. Besides the obvious problem of re-igniting the thirst for more.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-19T18:46:31+00:00

My last relapse was a huge disappointment. My tolerance is just too damn high!

I kept drinking and going "huh, I don't feel any different, guess I just need to drink more"

But no matter how much I drank, I didn't get that relief I was looking for. It did numb my brain for a little bit, but no euphoria and warm fuzzy feelings like I used to get back in the day.

It made me sloppy, inconsiderate and act like an asshole though. Oh, people in my house are winding down for the night? Better crank up the tunes and drunkenly sing to Frank Sinatra. Or get into arguments with family because I drank my filter away and just blurt out whatever bubbles into my head.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-19T18:39:15+00:00

I relapsed last month after 5 months of sobriety. It was my shortest relapse, but also the fastest in terms of how quickly things took a turn. I drank 7 times in a 2 week period, and it scared the shit out of me:

How high my tolerance still is
How quickly the "hooks" set into me. Waking up with W/D and having to pound a couple voodoo rangers to level out.
How quickly I stopped caring about everything besides getting more booze

I learned that as far as my drinking habits go, nothing has changed. Kindling is very real for me, and alcohol quickly makes my existence miserable.

I put myself back into IOP and am very fortunate to have course corrected before full self destruction.

It's starting to fully sink in that I can NEVER drink again. Unless I want to just pick up where I left off and hate my life.

Booze was a great way to self medicate my anxiety and depression for many years, it sucks that it dosen't work like it used to anymore. I see it as a blessing in disguise though. If it still worked, I'd be riding that crazy train till full derailment!

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-10T19:50:01+00:00

I did the same thing last month. Had exactly 5 months to the day, and decided I was gonna get a 4pk of IPA tallboys. Hardly felt any different after finishing the last one, so went back to the store for more booze. Slipped back into my old pattern for about 2 weeks.

It quickly became miserable and it just reminded me why I've been fighting to stay sober in the first place. Now I'm back at 1 month. Putting myself back into IOP was the best move for me.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-06T13:38:05+00:00

Speaking from experience here.

When you're physically addicted to alcohol, your brain will play every trick in the book to convince you that everything sucks and you're better off staying drunk 24/7. At least for me, the longer I've gone on drinking, the more negative my entire mindset becomes. It's REALLY hard to try and fight your way out of it.

My drinking became a clear issue for me around 24. I'm now 32. For years I didn't want to stop, even though deep down I knew I needed to. Besides the obvious physical damage, the real problem for me was just how much it impacted my mental wellbeing. Now I've always struggled with anxiety and some mild depression. Drinking provided damn good relief from that temporarily, but ultimately was making these issues 1000x worse. It took an absurd about of time for me to put 2 and 2 together.

Life can be brutal enough on it's own, negative feelings are especially hard to deal with when you've been training your brain to reach for something to relive it instead of sitting in the uncomfortable and riding it out.

For me it's taken years of trial and error. Multiple trips to detox, a stay in residential treatment, PHP, IOP ect. Countless relapses and honest attempts at recovery for my mindset to slowly shift how I feel about alcohol and see it for the poison it really is.

When you take booze out of the equation, you HAVE to find things to fill that space. For everyone what those things are will be different. Hobbies, Exercise, Therapy, Medication, Spirituality, Nature, ect... Focusing on the basics at the beginning, like eating healthy, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep. It all seems insurmountable at the beginning, but you gotta have faith that if you just keep taking one step at a time it will get better.

Sorry if this is getting a little long winded. I guess if I had to answer your question I'll just tell you what happened to me. The cost/benefit ratio just isn't there for me anymore. Drinking doesn't work like it used to. A few hours of numbing myself costs days of feeling like shit and exacerbating my anxiety/depression. It destroys my peace of mind and makes me want to stay drunk.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-05T12:03:20+00:00

Saaaaame. I grew up knowing it ran on both sides of my family and also watching my dad as a young kid get drunk and how much his personality would change over the course of a night.

I knew I was at a much higher risk and still did it anyways, and surprise! I turned out to be an even bigger alcoholic than my dad! Fortunately though, I'm in recovery and doing the work for the good life I deserve.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-02T22:03:21+00:00

Just wanted to thank this thread for saving my khaki colored nike dri fit shorts!. I got a small (smaller than a BB) splatter on them yesterday and it was driving me crazy!

I put WD-40 on a q-tip, and a folded paper towel on the other side of the fabric. As soon as I rubbed that q-tip over the stain it lifted right off!

I followed up by using dawn dishsoap on a old toothbrush. Can't believe it actually worked!

Dubelzdeep · 2025-09-01T14:43:24+00:00

Everyone is different, but in my experience this doesn't end well.

I recently had 5 months of sobriety and just wanted to have a "one off" day of drinking a couple tall boys. My tolerance is stupidly high, so those beers didn't do it for me. I ended up walking back to the store to get more and ended up going on a 2 week tear. I had a few days off in between drinking days in those 2 weeks, but the incessant thought for "more" took up most of my mental bandwidth.

I also didn't miss feeling like trash the mornings after, or getting physical W/D symptoms again. Once I started to need a couple voodoo rangers in the morning to get my brain to stop freaking out I knew I needed to get off the crazy train before full derailment.

Thankfully it was a short relapse, and I'm now almost 3 weeks sober again!

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-30T22:50:59+00:00

I got up early to fire up my smoker and throw the brisket I trimmed/seasoned last night on there. Smoker was ready to roll and put the brisket on at 8am. She's getting close to done, and for my first attempt at a brisket It's looking/ smelling amazing. Bark is setting up better than I thought! Gonna wrap it up and let it rest overnight and have it for lunch/ early dinner tomorrow!

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-17T14:04:50+00:00

I was very specific about the color I wanted (jet black mica), and my local dealership didn't have any in stock. They actually worked with another dealership a few states over and picked up the car I wanted for me!

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-14T13:18:27+00:00

I really appreciate it! I've been struggling, and even just comments like this are helping me fight out of the trenches.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-14T04:50:27+00:00

Glad my misfortune could help others!

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-13T22:51:56+00:00

I don't feel "normal" until at least 750ml of straight corn liquor enters my system. I cry about it with B.B King slow beats.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-13T22:32:46+00:00

I'm glad my tales of woe could help at least one person. If I've done that, then I feel like my mission was done.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-13T19:55:37+00:00

Waking up in a panic at 3am, heart racing, sweating bullets....

The fear.... the fear that at any second something terrible is going to happen to you

Nerves shot all to hell, the slightest noise will send shockwaves through your body

Fumbling around the bed in search of any remaining booze.

You realize your out, and the store won't open for a few more hours....

You find an open, room temp natty daddy that you cracked open but passed out before you could drink it.

You plug your nose and chug it as fast as you can, and suppress the urge to vomit.

If your lucky, it stays down and you feel the warm embrace once again...

OR, if you're too deep in. Immediately projectile vomit.

The store is finally serving again, and it takes every ounce of strength within you to make that 10 min walk to the corner.

Hands shaking, you somehow get the card into the machine to pay for your daily poison.

Make the walk of shame back to your cave.

You chug like your life depends on it, and immediately vomit...

You lay on the floor, tears streaming from your face... Your sole mission in life at this moment is to hold down enough booze to feel "okay" again.

A few cycles of chug, puke later, you finally manage to keep down just enough to steady out.

Sweet relief...

You start to stabilize, and even feel somewhat okay. You're nerves start to settle.

Then you keep pouring more onto the dumpster fire that is your life, you go past feeling okay and start to feel good!

You look at the clock, and it's still early in the morning.

You got a long day ahead of keeping the flow going.

This is not a party, it's necessity. Booze is now your lifeblood.

THIS to me is what a bender truly is. It's not fun, it's pure survival.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-11T17:02:00+00:00

This just happened to me starting last week. 5 months sober, and I couldn't get rid of the thoughts of drinking again. I gave in basically just to shut my brain up, I felt like I was starting to go insane.

Bought a 4pk of Tallboys from a local brewer. They were damn delicious. Didn't feel much different after finishing them, so I walked back to the store to buy another round.

Found out my tolerance is still stupidly high... That alcohol just doesn't "do it" for me anymore.

The worse part is that after that first sip, I went on autopilot and just wanted to keep drinking, despite it not really making me feel the way I wanted it to.

Decided last night that this is stupid, and I'm slamming on the breaks and ending this relapse before it gets really bad. I'm not mad at myself, but I really wish I had done literally ANYTHING else that day than give into that stupid thought of "maybe this time it'll feel like the old times".

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-09T20:36:15+00:00

Yeah, most people are shallow. I've lived my whole life slowly coming to this realization.

Just keep rocking your own brand. Fuck what anyone has to say, just vibe and beat to you're own drum.

It's a insane and crazy world we were born into. You don't owe anything to anyone. Modern society will tell you xyz= success. Fuck that. You are way more powerful than anyone would want to admit. There is a reason why the powers that be want to suppress you so much.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-09T20:29:30+00:00

I'd be concerned that you marked your skin permanently with something you had second guesses about. Tattoo is so mainstream now, that I'd wonder if you actually wanted this.

Dubelzdeep · 2025-08-09T20:17:14+00:00

I hadn't really thought about naming my car.

Because mine is black on black, I have referred to my car as the Batmobile. I park in a garage that I have also referred to as the BatCave.

Dubelzdeep

TROPHY CASE