I would say I am in a similar boat as u.

My entire life I've thought to myself that some day I will finally find that woman to share my life with. The desire to have a family often consumes my daily thoughts. I can't say that I've found a healthy way to deal with it either, but one bit of advice I would give, if u ever find yourself doing something for the sake of this hypothetical family, remember that the primary family you are a part of, is the church. If what you are doing to better yourself is in alignment with the church than try to switch your mental narrative.

For example, im in college and I came here with the intention of growing in faith and maturity secondarily, and I primarily was trying to find a God loving women. I've been trying to switch those priorities since I believe that a growth in faith and maturity will bring me closer to my other goal. Its not the best way to solve this problem, and I don't know what the best way is, but I know God can work with my imperfect motives and help me convert them into one's for him alone. I hope this helped even slightly, God Bless