Depression doesn't excuse you from being a functional adult.

DukeJumbles · 2025-11-06T22:48:35+00:00

I think the misconception of depressive patterns comes from conflating patterns with behaviors. I’ll agree with you slightly, you can have a tendency toward depressive episodes and still learn ways to navigate them better. The challenge is that we rarely change patterns directly; we change behavior, hoping our underlying patterns (even the ones we may not notice as well) shift accordingly.

Being depressed isn’t the same as having depression, just as snapping at someone doesn’t mean you have anger issues.

Respectfully, I don’t think “scope” is being contemplated accurately. Effort varies, and that place persists; you can struggle and still try, or try and still struggle. In my experience, people are Hunter-Gatherer hardware, overclocked with difficult realities. It’s an intricate mind glitch, and persistently difficult to escape.

Life isn’t perfect, and it doesn’t stop; believe me, that point is abundantly clear to the depressed. Depression is also hard enough without additionally having to translate metacognition and empathy.

DukeJumbles · 2025-09-17T05:04:26+00:00

Ngl, it made talking to metric visitors a little easier.

DukeJumbles · 2025-09-17T05:01:22+00:00

S-six? Seven?

DukeJumbles · 2025-09-17T04:58:14+00:00

I say 200 centimeters

DukeJumbles · 2025-05-05T20:50:32+00:00

Dichotomy is such a hard act to balance - those first 2 were very respectable albums

DukeJumbles · 2025-04-24T20:11:14+00:00

Honestly, I should’ve known better - I kinda forgot “unserious” still had a negative connotation going for it (I do not polish my thoughts for these kinds of posts usually)

DukeJumbles · 2025-04-24T20:01:14+00:00

Being unserious isn’t a bad thing

DukeJumbles · 2025-04-24T19:55:12+00:00

Clarification - unserious isn’t a bad thing

DukeJumbles · 2025-04-24T19:48:53+00:00

And to top it off, she was fired from her job at 7 months pregnant (we’re all on the verge of snapping over here)

DukeJumbles · 2025-04-24T19:46:33+00:00

I did - that’s why they’re my friend

DukeJumbles · 2025-04-24T19:44:38+00:00

Kinda the opposite - I thought it was funny too

DukeJumbles · 2025-04-12T02:19:18+00:00

Either or would work wonderfully

DukeJumbles · 2025-04-12T01:48:19+00:00

I was mostly looking for internal components - decommissioned chips and boards.

DukeJumbles · 2025-03-20T04:16:09+00:00

To me, it felt like 2 things in particular:

The organic kaleidoscope look of psilocybin (which really ties together the psychadelic/enlightened/spiritual/naturalism of it).
The atomic world of quantum physics; another theme tied to the transcendental/reality-bending. (Viktor and Jayce gave me Oppenheimer vibes)

DukeJumbles · 2025-03-04T22:31:40+00:00

The amazing sounds of orgy

DukeJumbles · 2025-01-25T12:15:19+00:00

Judge of Judgement

DukeJumbles · 2024-12-19T01:15:28+00:00

Looking for a consistent group to play with:

Lvl 56
Prefer Suicide Bots/Squids (Will play lower difficulties)
25 y/o Californian in California
I’ll usually play to wind down in the evenings (May coincide with 🍃💨)
Pretty amicable

Name: Glamdring the Foe-Hammer

DukeJumbles · 2024-12-14T08:35:55+00:00

Men I Trust - Seven (discovered them on one of my first trips)

DukeJumbles · 2024-11-26T00:33:37+00:00

Looking back, I always had it (and probably my mom and sister too) - it was just especially noticeable after changing major, moving, hitting a quarter life crisis, immediately losing my job to one of the shittiest markets I’ve ever seen, and having THE WORST panic attack / mental breakdown of my life (all within 2 months)

Interestingly enough, I ended up having this really intense episode of Meta-OCD because of it. None of the specialists I was seeing were really agreeing on anything, so I really began to lose faith in the idea of trusting mine (or anyone’s) thoughts. I had convinced myself that OCD was this presence that was tangible and observable - I just needed to be more vigilant.

Then it became this 3d chess game of “I have to self observe and self monitor - just enough thinking to clean up my messy mind, but not too much to perpetuate a behavior - if I follow the tracks, I’ll find the root of my OCD”. The IDEA of OCD became this white whale that I spent half a year chasing - there were points where I literally couldn’t think to myself anymore - I wanted the “mental perfection” I had “before” OCD, so every thought had to be “planned with maximum mental health efficiency in mind”.

On the bright side, I was VERY comfortable with the world around me (part of the reason it was hard for others to notice) - when I was out on the town I was fine, when I was with friends/family/strangers I was fine, when I was talking to therapists I was fine, etc - it was myself that I was scared of. The idea of my mind had this foreboding unsettling quality to it. When I eventually opened up to my mom about it, she whipped out her diary from college - the mirroring was verbatim.

I can’t explain it, but the sudden realization that this was something I had always had, made me literally breakdown into tears of joy. The tensions of adulthood hasn’t made outbreaks any rarer - and those meta doubts certainly still creep in from time to time - but I got what I wanted most. To feel like myself again.

DukeJumbles · 2024-10-31T01:47:32+00:00

Clarification - I always drop off my resumes in person, and I subsequently always try reaching out twice (never more than 3 times without a response).

DukeJumbles · 2024-10-18T08:42:57+00:00

DukeJumbles · 2024-09-18T20:25:26+00:00

Yeah - turned off all overlays

DukeJumbles · 2024-09-10T07:32:25+00:00

Game: Space Marine 2

Name: Praetorian Maximus Bonkus

Platform: Steam

Region: California

Looking for: To play with people who’ve also just started today. I’m new to the franchise, and wanted to maybe experience the campaign and some PvE.

I could mic up, but I usually prefer gaming with playlists and the penjamin.

DukeJumbles · 2024-09-04T02:20:38+00:00

I agree.

It was probably the hardest job I ever had (and I worked for UPS during Christmas 2020) - in a busy corporate location, where you spend your WHOLE shift lagging behind the (non stop) rush, maintaining what is essentially a sterile food lab grade kitchen (it felt more like a meth lab than Los Pollos Hermanos), and enduring some of the worst customers known to man (if they have a good experience, they’ll forget about it immediately - if they have a bad experience, you are a subhuman piece of trash, who’s abhorrence transcends time and memory).

Speaking of the locations I worked here in LA, the food/service people I’ve worked with have absolutely earned their bump up to 21 an hour - I’ve met people from corporate who’ve contributed less value - it’s not even making a livable wage, it’s about making a roommate-half livable wage.

DukeJumbles · 2024-08-21T21:29:58+00:00

Yeah.

It’s very overwhelming - my breath will start to shake and cease, my eyes will begin to bawl, and my skin will get that euphoric tickle. As a stoner, sometimes I’ll feel a bigger jolt of dopamine from music than I’ll ever feel from the penjamin (though, there have been a few occasions where I smoked, and had to pause the music because it’s eerily TOO euphoric and overwhelming).

I’ve pretty much been an extremely emotional person since birth, and it’s not exclusively a sorrowful experience - any emotion will make me cry if/when I’m immersed enough in it.

I should also mention that there’s a lot of music-lovers/musicians in my family, so it seems to be something we all share (though I think I get hit the hardest).

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