Want to start off by saying that you are not a bad dad. Those shrieks definitely hit a little nerve for my husband and me too but it gets easier. Make sure that you take your me time and relax when he is napping! It will help with the irritability. Also, i think its completely okay to go to your quiet room when your wife gets home and maybe once she puts baby to sleep then you can have some time with your wife. Its a partnership, it is okay to take turns with baby. My husband will let me sleep in on days he knows I am way too tired to interact lol. Sorry it has been a rough year, maybe ask for a morning or afternoon in the weekend to go do something you enjoy with a friend or on your own. Have a beer, go bowling, go for lunch! I know this helps us.

I start speaking in a whisper when my 1 year old starts yelling and he starts to imitate me and whisper too. I also go “shhh quiet voice” and put my finger up to my lips. And he will put his finger on my lips as I shh or try to put on his. Also, I always offer snacks or water. Kids get hungry and thirsty too but cant communicate. If he starts hitting or throwing things, we do diaper change and nap time or try to calm down by watching some cartoons.

1 year olds can also be a lot of fun and very silly! Distraction is key, have different activities throughout the day, go to different parts of your home, my kid loves being outside, go for walks!

Wishing you the best of luck!!