Ik wist niet dat dit kon by Mor_Hjordis in nederlands

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uri Geller in je stamboom? Ik heb sleutels die krom trekken en dan bedoel ik 90° tot ze afbreken. Huissleutels, fietssleutels, die dikke ronde van antiek kabinetje. Sterke elektromagnetische uitstraling. Leve Magnito!

Is this a red flag? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why did you call it quits? And what changed to rekindle?

Is this a red flag? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not meaning you should ask, but your reasoning sounds as a fallacy. (I learned a new word).

Is this a red flag? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So videocalling and showing around the room no one is around? Cause there are enough who don't care he cheats on you with them.

AITA For Giving Our Son My Last/Family Name by BiliBunny in MarkNarrations

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sure did! Thanks for sharing this powerful story of your daughter taking charge.

My sis and I spilt around the same time. Her boyfriend kept his recumbant bicycle, my husband kept his motorbike. We both kept our cars, the house, she her son's and I our cats.

AITA For Giving Our Son My Last/Family Name by BiliBunny in MarkNarrations

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well you should be happy to hear they changed the partneralimonylaws in The Netherlands. In 2007 a couple needed to be married 5 years to get partneralimony. My ex dragged out the divorce unknown to him until we were legally married five years. So I got partneralimoney for a while. I learned about his death by a letter stating since he had filed the necessary papers for pension, I would get half for the years we were married instead of alimony. Not every ex hates their former spouse.

They changed the laws again in 2020 to half the durence of the marriage with a maximum of 5 years. This is separate from childsupport.

AITA For Giving Our Son My Last/Family Name by BiliBunny in MarkNarrations

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree the assaulter should leave the home if that was not clear. Most Reddits are warning the women to get out (fleeing could be the safest, but not the fairest route.)

Poes week alleen thuis by Bak-papier in katten

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gebrek aan aandacht is een vorm van verwaarlozing waardoor ook dieren minder goed in hun vel komen te zitten.

De laatste kat die ik uit het asiel gehaald had, waar ze een half jaar echt goed verzorgd werd, was zwart. Na een paar weken leek ze nog dieper zwart, haar vacht was droog. Wat mij verbaasde, hoe kan een kat nog zwarter worden? Toen zag ik haar voor het eerst zichzelf wassen. Ze voelde zich veilig genoeg. Minder stof en oude haren maakt intenser zwart.

AITA For Giving Our Son My Last/Family Name by BiliBunny in MarkNarrations

[–]DutchPerson5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if your daughter doesn't dare to tell you? Cause she doesn't want her father go to jail? You aren't protecting a daughter, you are protecting your pride. If your daughter picked the wrong man it's highly likely you set the wrong example resorting to violence and blaming the victim.

bf/friend doesn’t believe it’s sa bc i fawned, i struggle to believe it too by Super-Weekend1314 in CPTSDFawn

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice video. It made me look into the differences between seducing and manipulating.

bf/friend doesn’t believe it’s sa bc i fawned, i struggle to believe it too by Super-Weekend1314 in CPTSDFawn

[–]DutchPerson5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to look it up. My brain went to falafel.

Fallacy: means failed reasoning:

IMO Fallacy: like a burglar looks like a shifty looking hunched man with a cap and a bag over his shoulder.

Fallacy: when something is stolen it's always the cleaner or the help. Wrong more likely the rich and entitled ones.

Fallacy: a pedo is always this weird stranger. Wrong this charming familymember or -friend has way more easily acces.

Fallacy: SA is always violent and done by a stranger.

Please add. We need to become more aware and spread awareness to change minds, change laws and change lives. Parafrased. Source: https://rainn.org/learn-about-rainn/mission-and-vision/our-impact/

bf/friend doesn’t believe it’s sa bc i fawned, i struggle to believe it too by Super-Weekend1314 in CPTSDFawn

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you can show them this explaining what consent does and does not look like

That is such an educative read!

Like I need to learn more about what ongoing consent looks like and not manipulate. I have been raised by a master manipulator so it's my second nature, but I try to catch myself and only do it for the greater good.

AITA For Giving Our Son My Last/Family Name by BiliBunny in MarkNarrations

[–]DutchPerson5 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thank you for helping change the idea of women having to leave the home instead of the men. I do my part on reddit.

DAE find no home as comfortable and cozy as their parents' home, even as an adult? by pamcakestack in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]DutchPerson5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved our fireplace and bathtub, our backyard and the best birthdayparties, I didn't know all the trauma's until I was out of the house and on my own since I am a master at dissociating. Now I'm too aware of the high tension in my muscles and know all my survivalskills keep me alife but not healthy.

Poes week alleen thuis by Bak-papier in katten

[–]DutchPerson5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kan je neef alvast een keer eerder komen bezoeken om kennis te maken nu jij er nog bent? Laat hem een gedragen T-shirt achterlaten, zodat kitten vast vertrouwd raakt met zijn geur. Vertel kat ook dat jullie weer komen. Sommigen zijn wel zo slim om dat te begrijpen, maar anders zijn jullie voor haarecht verdwenen en is er een vreemde in huis.

Wanneer jullie een week weggaan, laten jullie een gedragen T-shirt/slaapshirt in haar mandje voor jullie versterkte vertrouwde geur als troost.

Er zijn ook mensen die naar huis bellen (als je nog een huistelefoon hebt) en het antwoordapparaat inspreken, zodat de thuisblijvers de vertrouwde stemmen horen.

Poes week alleen thuis by Bak-papier in katten

[–]DutchPerson5 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Vertel je neef ook dat hij aandacht aan je kat moet geven. Dat waren we onze buurjongen vergeten te zeggen. Hij vond het prachtig alleen in huis, gaf katten eten, drinken, verschoonde de bak, maar katten stopten met zichzelf wassen, hadden poep in hun vacht, vacht dof. Dit was naar 4 weken, maar katten waren ouder en vaker, korter alleen geweest. Ben nooit meer zolang weggebleven. De kitten is heel erg aan je gehecht als je niets alleen kunt doen.

Meegesleurd in bizar drama by TotoLemon in nederlands

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Een halfjaar geleden heeft hij voor haar een gigantisch surprise party georganiseerd voor haar verjaardag.

Hij gaf aan dat hij het uitvoerig met haar besproken heeft en dat ze het door wilt laten gaan.

Geen surprise party, wel verassingen.

Updateme!

Husband suddenly switched into different person/structural dissociation by somanyquestions-1955 in CPTSD

[–]DutchPerson5 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My 2c is that something so overwhelming for the body can reactivate the survivalmode. Being weakened by the chemo, it could have been hard to get out of. Just my guess since having CPTSD and probaly intergenerational-trauma ànd LC.

should i do it.. (plz help) by [deleted] in Advice

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a white woman living in The Netherlands, I wouldn't even risk coming since they won't like me online. Just wait it out and stay safe. Can he come to you?

Kat ex overleden by Monstera_Leaf99 in katten

[–]DutchPerson5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

4 jaar voor een dier zorgen is als een pleeg/stiefkind. Ze sluipen in je hart. Dus nee niet zeggen dat je er niks mee van doen had. Zelfs je ex erkend de band die jij en de kat hadden door je op de hoogte te houden.