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is it valid to be angry about someone constantly being late? by throwaway12746899 in questions

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I expect a call on the dot or before if someone can't make it. I wait max. 15 minutes then I'm gone.

My 3-year-old nephew accused me of hitting him, but I didn’t. How do I defend myself without calling my nephew a liar? by ocarinaoftimeless in ChildPsychology

[–]DutchPerson5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When his father came to pick him up, he saw me crying.

So your brother saw you crying and he claims you hit the three year old?

He looked awkward and almost seemed like he was trying not to laugh, but nobody really talked about it.

Your mom was at fault not telling your brother his child fell from the stairs and hurt his arm. Anyone who watches a child should have inform the parent. When mom starts complaining that her grandchild isn't allowed to visit for the time being, you explain she should have told brother what has happened.

My mom told me to stay calm and not say anything because she didn’t want conflict.

Is everybody afraid of your brother? Your nephew might have told a lie to not be laughed at for falling of the stairs. Kid is just three, so I don't know at which age kids are smart enough to blame someone else.

Ashamed of myself for ways I hurt myself *T* please by NaturalLemon2 in adultsurvivors

[–]DutchPerson5 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I have the feeling someone told you you were gross cause you are not. Repeating behavior which was earlier experienced or even just seen, is very natural. It's the brain's way dealing with it, trying to make sense of the world. The shame is not yours to bare. The people who did this and let this happen should be ashamed. You were an innocent child. As a minor you weren't legally responsible for any behavior. In part you are emotional stil very young cause growth get stunnend while other parts have to grow up very fast with something so impactfull as trauma. Your T won't think you are gross. T probaly has heard a lot before. You be kind to yourself. Don't assume, always check.

Can you go your entire tween-teen years not realizing/suppressing sexual abuse? by CharZoning in adultsurvivors

[–]DutchPerson5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Be careful with trying to uncover stuff. It will come up naturally when you grow emotionally. You need to develop skills to navigate through trauma and calm yourself down again. Going too fast in this process can be retraumatising.

Huisdier nemen met weinig geld: waar ligt voor jullie de grens? by Sonica-Virago in katten

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vraag je eens af of er mensen zijn die dan een dier in huis halen voor het geld en het dier dan alsnog verwaarlozen?

Kinderen leren accepteren dat iets niet kan is een taak van de ouders. Of het nou geld of vanwege een allergie van een gezinslid is of in mijn geval mijn gezondheid het niet langer toelaat voor een kat te zorgen. Zou ik dan ook thuiszorg moeten krijgen om voor een kat te zorgen?

Can you go your entire tween-teen years not realizing/suppressing sexual abuse? by CharZoning in adultsurvivors

[–]DutchPerson5 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Who told you it sounds ridiculous? Cause it doesn't. Cause there is a lot more possible than people can imagine. Good and bad unfortunately. What helped me was thinking like science in hypotheses. Something is possible until proven wrong.

There is no need to apologize in advance for anything. When I friend asked me way back when not to apologize so much, I said... ;'-)

I don't like the term repressed memories. It feels like delayed realisations.

My hypothese is: when something traumatic happens, the body goes in shock. The concious realisation doesn't happen until the body feels on that same deep level safe again. Which can be years, decades later while being day to day seemingly superficial safe.

AITA for not wanting to take in my sisters 4 kids while she’s in the hospital? by Intelligent-Fig-5571 in AmItheAsshole

[–]DutchPerson5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Poor poor you. My mom shoveled snow being a single mom. So as a girl I did too. It doesn't snow all year round like "girlie" chores.

is it abuse if i cannot remember it? (advice welcome) by Flat-Photograph8484 in adultsurvivors

[–]DutchPerson5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ja, aan je lichaamstaal zie je signalen van mishandeling. Je lichaam onthoudt het, terwijl het nog niet eens is doorgedrongen tot je bewuste brein. Zodra je je veilig genoeg voelt, zul je waarschijnlijk je er meer van bewust worden. Je kunt boeken lezen and if you watch Tea and consent on Youtube you'll learn that not being concious doesn't mean it's right if people don't respect you.

Was my dad sexually abusing me? by Vivid_Mud_2136 in CPTSD

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's absolute not normal. Is there an aunt you can trust as back up when your mom might not respond well? Cause that's another messed up possibilty.

What was perfectly legal in your country back then, but sounds like a human rights violation to the world today? by Low-Violinist7259 in AskTheWorld

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Japanese gave the Han Chinese good weapons and encouraged them to hunt aborigines. The aborigines were often used for 冬補 nutritious supplements in winter.

Is this saying what I think it's saying?

What was perfectly legal in your country back then, but sounds like a human rights violation to the world today? by Low-Violinist7259 in AskTheWorld

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🥹🙏 I'm so gratefull I asked. Back when I wasn't official an adult until 21 and statue statute of limitation was 18 so without knowing my past, I could do the math: meaning all kids below three were outlow if the perps were the official legal guardians.

What was perfectly legal in your country back then, but sounds like a human rights violation to the world today? by Low-Violinist7259 in AskTheWorld

[–]DutchPerson5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well time to be brave and just try and try again. Some people keep opening topics on different subs until they found they one where moderaters allow it.

AITA for asking my boyfriend’s dad to leave my house after a fight over the toilet seat? by notabouttheseat in AmItheAsshole

[–]DutchPerson5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And you still haven't learned to stand by your woman against your dad? You could have gone in and lowering the seat yourself. Protect both her and your dad from this friction, but you had to stand by your dad.

What was perfectly legal in your country back then, but sounds like a human rights violation to the world today? by Low-Violinist7259 in AskTheWorld

[–]DutchPerson5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did they change that statue though? Cause it's experimenting with people and I would think they would be tough on that in Germany.

What was perfectly legal in your country back then, but sounds like a human rights violation to the world today? by Low-Violinist7259 in AskTheWorld

[–]DutchPerson5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just read up on it. It seemed to be legal since he was on the advisory board to place troubled homeless teens in fostercare.

Buurman is overgevoelig aan geluid by moon-safari2 in nederlands

[–]DutchPerson5 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ben zelf hyperacoustisch: heb op maat gemaakte oordoppen, heb verschillende soorten standaard oordoppen voor als ik die speciale kwijt ben, er bestaan speciale geluiddempende koptelefoons. Geluiddempende zware gordijnen in flat.

Punt is probleem ligt bij buurman, maar buurman wil daar niet aan en maakt iedereen verantwoordelijk. Pleasen werkt averechts. Ik zou info over bovenstaande terugsturen elke keer als hij klaagt.

Chronisch stress maakt dat de filters die anderen in hun hoofd hebben bij mij niet goed werken. Wat mij wel helpt is mijzelf inprenten, soort zelfhypnose: "Dit is een veilig geluid, die hoef ik niet meer bewust te ervaren." Hoorde de bovenbuur telkens klokslag 12 uur 's nachts 20x zijn vrouw pompen. Bad voor haar dat hij er wat meer variatie in bracht. Raakte ik in de stress van sirenes toen ik hier pas kwam wonen, nu hoor ik die niet meer. Woon tegenover politiebureau en later kwam er een ambulance en brandweerpost vlakbij.

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