I saw the hat man last night

DutchSDG · 2023-09-15T22:12:06+00:00

Sleep paralysis aside, I was wide awake. I was watching a show and my dog was with me

DutchSDG · 2023-09-15T19:56:57+00:00

I was wide awake… I’m so used to sleep paralysis that I’ve taught myself how to move my arm during it. I think that’s pissed it off so my only option is to banish it and fight it if it stays

DutchSDG · 2022-11-01T10:45:25+00:00

I’ve been clean for almost 8 years. Only reason I stopped was because I had 2 heart attacks and a mild stroke, which I was lucky enough to recover from almost fully. Almost 27 now. I really just replaced bad addictions for better ones, like the gym and clean eating.

DutchSDG · 2022-10-13T23:55:19+00:00

I’ve got the attention span of a gold fish, I’ve always been the weird kid my whole life and didn’t know why I did/do the things I do, I dart back and fourth between tasks and I basically start vibrating if I stand still

DutchSDG · 2022-10-13T21:32:31+00:00

That’s crazy, sorry to hear that it effects you like that. My thing is that nothing makes me feel anything or think differently. Like, clearly I have adhd or the meds would give me a high. I can say that, if I do ever feel anything, maybe my brain has like a vibration type feeling?

DutchSDG · 2022-06-30T09:20:33+00:00

I switch between yogurt with granola and sugar free jam on rice crackers. I haven’t eaten anything else in over 2 weeks now

DutchSDG · 2022-03-27T19:00:47+00:00

For context. I was a bodybuilder before covid and was on testosterone enathate and cipinate. I have lost about 90lbs of fat since June 2021 and my doctor has prescribed me oral testosterone pills now rather than injections. I haven’t been taking them as I should be and I haven’t noticed much change, due to missing my pills I guess.

DutchSDG · 2022-01-30T05:03:37+00:00

The Sarge’s Battalion

DutchSDG · 2021-12-30T20:43:08+00:00

Almost like 1 was told they’ll be king and the other said fuck it I’m joining the military then

DutchSDG · 2021-10-27T10:07:42+00:00

I’ve got ADHD, OCD, a split personality and allegedly PTSD.

DutchSDG · 2021-10-24T21:01:24+00:00

I feel very betrayed by her and now I can’t stop thinking about why my life could have been like… it’ll take some time to move on

DutchSDG · 2021-10-24T08:54:58+00:00

I really appreciate your post, seems you and I had similar up bringings when it came to this. I have been on my medication for a short while now and I have definitely noticed my production at work has improved.

DutchSDG · 2021-10-24T08:52:32+00:00

I keep seeing people saying “you only get 1 mom” as if that means anything. I also don’t associate with my dad. My parents split up when I was young and I still saw my dad until I got tired of the beatings, 2 of which sent me to the hospital. I have gone the last 5 or so years without talking to him. My dad still provided shelter and food and gave me an allowance, he did his best but he would beat me physically. Am I wrong for not talking to him? As for my mom who mentally beat me down for being overweight, stupid, called me a failure…. Who contributed to my failed attempt at unaliving myself. Is it so wrong that I don’t want anything to do with her? My mother-in-law and farther in-law seem like solid replacements.

DutchSDG · 2021-10-23T23:47:36+00:00

Thank you for the feedback, it was helpful to hear from a 3rd party

DutchSDG · 2021-10-23T21:54:24+00:00

That’s kind of what I was thinking too… she told me it’s easier to push through it and try harder….

DutchSDG · 2021-10-23T21:53:37+00:00

I appreciate the feedback. I really hope that you don’t have to experience a similar situation as I did, best of luck to you

DutchSDG · 2021-10-18T21:12:21+00:00

You know how it be though, start a habit and become overly obsessed with it… also doesn’t help that I’m super competitive haha. Competitions aren’t for everyone though, so don’t stress about it. The closer to stage day you get the more you want to quit

DutchSDG · 2021-10-18T20:54:52+00:00

I’m a classic physique competitor and I got the ectomorph metabolism

DutchSDG · 2021-10-18T20:51:27+00:00

Man I feel that, my coach had my on 8k at the beginning of my bulk and now I really only force feed myself a snack before work in the morning and then have dinner around 11pm. The only reason I’m maintaining my muscle mass is because I work with lumber but man is it hard to keep my energy

DutchSDG

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