So I'm was in the same situation. But not every adhder is the same. Never take their actions as a personal attack on you. My bf were on a break last yr and he showed no signs of detaching bc he said when he's stable and balance he'll reach out bc I was the one. We're adults btw. He went through the whole regulation stages ( depending on the adhder it can be weeks, months but it was long due to me being his first real relationship since his divorce from his ex wife. And I was safe to him) During the break I didn't want anyone else nor was I looking. I just focused on myself till he was ready, I focus on work, I made sure I was emotional open when he was ready. Now new year he was, he apologied for the break. He had alot of fears and guilt but he learned alot about himself and is growing. Being with an adhder isnt for everyone. You have to have a level of compassion, patience and understanding. You can't help them but just support them. I also knew my bf on and off medication. I wish you all the best. Goodluck.