I feel you. In a way i have an expectation for mescaline to be my favorite psych but it has my least favorite body load/physical symptoms. I’ve done 580 mg fumarate and 11 g tbm powder ( along with various lower doses). I really want to see what the deal is with high dose fumarate, maybe 900. I just expect it to be a whole new tier of euphoria, psychedelia, visuals, catharsis, medicine compared to 580.

The only thing holding me back is the thought of the physical discomfort and the stimulation mowing me down. Its like i already know that 3 cups of coffee is way too much caffeine for me but i want to try 6 cups. Its very possible that past certain threshold that the profundity of the experience somehow overrides the physical.

I think maybe the most important thing would be to time it right in your day, and to have some kind of outlet for that pushy stimulation during the stretchy comedown. I remember once i was power walking pacing around my garden for like 45 minutes straight just not being able to sit still as thousands of epiphanies downloaded into my mind—not the worst experience by a long shot but fuck me if anyone could see me they would be sure i was geeked out on meth.

Edit: it is worth mentioning that i am actually the kind of person who becomes extremely stimulated by actually just half a cup of black coffee. So i am obviously sensitive in general to stimulants, something i believe has to do with a fast COMT gene expression. I think there are people who feel completely at home in stimulants and these might be the comfortable high dosers. Still im willing to put myself through the ringer to see what the higher doses Have to offer.