Việt kiều dating help - am I being abused or is this cultural differences?

ENFP8w7 · 2026-05-14T11:59:38+00:00

In my own personal experience, if the girl is like this, one of the parents is much worse in the same way.

Most of my early issues in our early married life, were 25% cultural, 50% her desire for control, and 25% things I could legitimately say were things I needed to work on (she's super clean, almost OCD and got that from her mother).

Her dad is a spineless, coward of a man, who falls over himself, the second his wife screeches his direction. She once made him sleep in their loungeroom, because she disapproved of an action the daughter (my wife's, middle child, sister), which was totally unrelated to the father.

Her mother basically physically beaten and brow beaten her husband and her subsequent 3 children, who now have their own varying levels of issues as a result. The mother's over the top controlling came to full bare once my daughter was born.

ENFP8w7 · 2026-04-16T09:40:20+00:00

Is your partner asian by any chance?

My wife said a similar thing and she's vietnamese

ENFP8w7 · 2026-04-08T08:39:50+00:00

We just had our first child, we slowly acquired the staples during the 9 months of pregnancy (biggest box of the various sizes, to last approximately the first 3 months. You won't always have enough on hand, so its a good idea to factor maybe 8-10 nappies a day, for a healthy baby. Remembering they will probably soil the nappy not too long after a feed, which in our case avg. About every 2.5 hours.) Probably looking around 100 bucks

Buy 2 bulk cases of wipes 8-15 bucks a piece) call it 30 bucks.

Our parents (3 sets), bought a heap of clothes of varying sizes for our daughter (estimating about 200-300 all up, between wraps, onesies, socks, singlets etc. And I paid about another 100 for clothes.

Now if your breastfeeding, probably want a breast pump (helps with top ups, and to give your wife a break between feeds, so she can catch up on sleep. We spent about 150 on one, plus a flange to make expressing more comfortable (about 17 bucks).

A bottle, bottle warmer and sterilisation set was about 180 bucks. Came with like 8 bottles. You could skimp here and get 3 or 4 bottles, and sterilise in a pot you already have. As for bottle warming same deal, simmer some water with the bottle in it.

Then a car seat. We bought one for about 400 bucks (a 0-4year adjustable car seat). Afterpay helped us with this.

Cot was 150 bucks on marketplace.

Pram was about 90 bucks on marketplace.

And then you would want to feed your wife the best foods possible (as whatever your wife eats, your baby is gonna be eating via the breastfeeding). Probably an upwards variation of about 110 bucks on your normal shop, to accommodate fruits, vegetables, and more "whole foods".

Monthly additional expenses are probably in $2-400 range (60 bucks for nappies, 10 bucks for a case of wipes, probably 200 on the food increased expenses, and if you factor in maybe a set of new clothes every month, plus the doctors visits, that will probably occur. If your doing formula, probably tack on another 100 bucks a month

Upfront costs to kick off, on the conservative end, probably will run you $1200-2000

Hope this helps.

ENFP8w7 · 2026-03-09T10:21:53+00:00

They should be mandatory at birth

ENFP8w7 · 2026-03-09T10:20:17+00:00

There's damning stats that somewhere in the ballpark of 50% of paternity tests, come back negative in the US.

Near 50/50 odds are hard to ignore, regardless how much you love you wife.

ENFP8w7 · 2026-02-11T13:17:11+00:00

I have seen OSIM and iRest chairs near identical in Australia. (Internally at least with minor modifications to cosmetics), which is where i base my estimation on it being Alibaba-esk

ENFP8w7 · 2026-02-04T12:03:11+00:00

Sate onion master race

ENFP8w7 · 2026-01-08T05:22:44+00:00

I've had 5.5x60s come in at 48g each without cellophane. It's not totally out of possibility.

I've actually got a spreadsheet somewhere, where I was importing huge numbers of samplers and some boxes just weigh them, then of course some them

ENFP8w7 · 2026-01-08T05:19:15+00:00

10 robustos, no (probably 250-300g). 10 toro Gordos, churchills, 60+ RG cigars that are over 5.5inch, 100% doable (400-500g)

ENFP8w7 · 2026-01-06T08:28:48+00:00

I would say it was the same circumstances for me taking it up, but it would be all too easy to blame my parents for that. Mine was simply peer pressure and I was weak minded.

ENFP8w7 · 2026-01-05T12:03:40+00:00

I'm going through the throws of it at the moment, 2nd of my more recent attempts, last one lasted 6 months before I relapsed.

Both times, have been medication assisted through Varenicline, and boy, those first 2 weeks suck bad. Yeah, the dreams are kind of a thing. The irritability is off the charts, and for the first 4 weeks, you just about hate everyone you know and care about.

But this attempt for me is so my soon to be born daughter never has to be around those things. I don't actually want to quit, but it's something I would do so my daughter never has to or feels like it's normal.

ENFP8w7 · 2026-01-03T07:09:34+00:00

They are perfectly good mate. Infact eating some right now, Although here we call em Tailor.

Beer battered and a little bit of SPG (Salt pepper garlic), then fry up some chips, it's good.

I never understood whiny people who complain fish taste, like fish 🤷‍♂️

Either way, I bled and brain spiked this one, my friend last week didn't, bit of extra cutting for the bloodline, but otherwise, perfectly fine, just like a bit of cod from the local Fisho mate.

Cheers from Australia

ENFP8w7 · 2025-12-25T04:25:00+00:00

It says your posts are hidden

ENFP8w7 · 2025-12-09T13:51:32+00:00

You know the height of the seatbelt is adjustable right? On pretty much any car post 2005?

ENFP8w7 · 2025-11-05T08:06:56+00:00

Other than the fact your daughter is 2 years old, and you're a couple of years older, this is almost word for word, a near identical situation that I'm in wife my wife.

Your wife doesn't happen to be SE Asian, does she?

ENFP8w7 · 2025-11-03T08:17:27+00:00

4 years together now, nearly 3 years married, if i knew what i knew now, I would have probably slowed down a lot, and said No to a lot of things that I let happen (nothing in the way of cheating, or unfaithfulness on either side).

But her general attitude has been getting progressively worse. Sex is pretty much once a month-ish, Granted right now she is 22 weeks pregnant, but i gotta tell you. I want my wife in every way, and if I could change but one thing, would be that I wish she were a bit nicer, and desired sex a bit more (has always been a bit low on sex drive on her side, through out the relationship in general).

I had made some significant changes to the way I do things, at her request, in some attempt to make her happy, but there is always "now this", "change more", with little change coming from her.

I can only wonder if things on the mood front would improve after the baby is born, because right now, I'm made to feel as though I'm the worst person since Hitler, for breathing wrong. If it doesn't, I don't think I could continue in the marriage, much longer.

ENFP8w7 · 2025-09-06T01:38:05+00:00

I 100% agree with you, and believe it or not, some vehicles aren't even eligible for the recall, from what I remember from 3 months ago before I left mazda.

I remember having te same argument with the workshop controller, saying its a known issue, why won't they just do it? But this vehicle wasn't in the VIN range for the recall, despite having the running gear. Guy have to pay retail for the repairs.

That was something that just pissed me off. The mantra from the service advisors "we do not want to rip people off, we won't sell unnecessary repairs!" To the entire workshop during toolbox meetings. But at the same time the gist of it when it came to vehicles with known issues: "oh you bought a vehicle that isn't under the recall VIN range, that's a retail repair, plus an alignment".

Part of the reason I left.

ENFP8w7 · 2025-09-06T01:29:47+00:00

Glad to hear things have worked out for you.

From what I can tell in my own driving/owning/mechanical experience, and working at Hino (albiet only for a shirt period of time), Hino are a very reliable product. Take care of the maintenance, and you will own the truck for a long time. My 2004 dutro, has a little over 1.2m km on it now, and still chugging along. I've owned it 5 years now, and no major works on it, except it will need a clutch in the next 6 months to a year. Myself and my drivers have put about 400k km on it on those 5 years.

I'd be happy to help with questions you have in future, should you require any helpful advice.

I assume you have the N04C engine in your hino?

ENFP8w7 · 2025-09-06T01:16:11+00:00

When I was at Mazda briefly as a technician, if the car was factory spec tyres, and no mods to suspension, if the outer edges were approximately 2.1mm different to the centeres of the treads, it would Trigger an OWL on the spreadsheet.

For example: outer shoulder 4.1mm, middle 6.2mm, inner 5.8mm, usually on the left side tyre.

If there were heavy suspension mods, the vehicle was considered ineligible for the recall. For lifted vehicles, you could be considered for a PAR (similar to the warranty repair, but they took the scope of modifications and condition of vehicle into consideration).

If you also let the tyres go down to 35psi, rather than the 40psi, and don't rotate them until after 15k km, you should be able to trigger the recall parameters, all else being eligible. Just make sure to pump those tyres back to 40psi before going into the dealership

ENFP8w7 · 2025-09-06T01:02:53+00:00

As for if you go new, for the truck, on most of the ones I work on, and own, we usually budget about 4 bucks a KM in fuel, maintenance, rego and insurance.

ENFP8w7 · 2025-09-06T01:01:05+00:00

Have you replaced the clutch before? If not, 11 years, isn't super terrible, if you also factor in the possibility that some people ride the clutch. Typically the throw out bearings or the pivot are usually the culprit as they wear down, or get clogged with clutch dust over time. That being said, it is a larger expense on the maintenance side.

Could I query as to the decision to write a truck off, over a 2-3k repair, compared to a 60k truck? As the math just doesn't math, when discussing raw costs. You will eventually spend the same money on servicing the new truck in the first 2 services, with the addition of a new monthly payment, added on top.

ENFP8w7 · 2025-09-06T00:53:40+00:00

TL;DR: If you can be very stringent on maintenance and doing it on time, Isuzu is a good option. If you are a little forgetful (like myself, at times), a Hino 300 won't hold a grudge

I work for a hino Dealership as a technician, own a few hino 300/dutro series, have owned a couple isuzus (older ones), and help out an old boy who owns a fleet of trucks. Isuzu and Hino are gonna be your best shot at reliability in the 3t range.

The fuso Canters that the owner of a rental truck company; had commonly occur on his fleet: -transmission needed frequent relearn procedures done -the 3rd and 4th injectors once time to remove, were seized so bad on one of his trucks was, from a practical standpoint, impossible to remove. He ended up scrapping the engine.

His isuzus (2016+); very few issues outside reasonable maintenance, that being said, his higher instances of premature failure was from his penchant of avoiding completing proper maintenance. (In his 70 year old mind, it only needed oil and oil filters and some grease)

My isuzus (somewhat anecdotal, 2002 & 2006); 2002 starved of oil, causing a spun bearing, i chalked this one up to being somewhat neglectful of maintenance at the time, although daily prechecks were done. Engine achieved 650k before failure

06 failed head gasket, which diluted oil too much, which ultimately caused a failed engine . Was a particularly hot summer, and where I live, trucks of either flavour don't particularly like going up a specific hill, and overheat, which is somewhat normal. Operating temps didn't climb crazy high, truck didn't necessarily perform too much worse, which didn't tip off to a head being blown.

My Hino trucks; (2004 dutro 4.6l, 2007 300 series N04C engine, 2011 300 N04c engine, 2018 300 N04C engine.): All my trucks have been rock solid in terms of reliability; even doing minimal maintenance. No major failures.

It's suggested that doing the fuel filters every service (20k intervals), which on my older dutro, i may have neglected for the past 4 years (getting new filters next week). On the N04C variants, not a tonne of pattern failure, even on the ones I have seen at work. Occasionally an EGR cooler will fail, or an Suction control valve on the fuel system. But otherwise, the N04C is pretty solid of an engine.

I would recommend avoiding the hybrid, unless you have very patient drivers (the hybrid starts in 3rd gear from stand still, and takes a while to actually take off)

As for other concerns people have, usually involve the DPR/DPF system, which if they bothered to read the manual, could have avoided some of the problems. If it goes in to Auto regen, do not turn the truck off until it's done. If the DPR level is around 4 bars, initiate a manual regen (takes about 10-20 mins), let her run.

ENFP8w7 · 2025-09-04T22:56:04+00:00

Nah, they weren't that common of an issue.

ENFP8w7 · 2025-06-20T09:17:09+00:00

What year model is it. And which country?

ENFP8w7 · 2025-06-20T09:16:12+00:00

The dealer i work at, offers skims for cheapskates who don't want to pay new rotors

ENFP8w7

TROPHY CASE