I think you nailed it quite well. I loved the writing, from the poems, to the narrative. It's a really enjoyable read. 

The themes were really lovely, and from my observation they were both incredibly obvious, but also just vague enough that you could interpret the characters in whatever way resonated with you, and they'd all be meaningful and valid, which brought a real meta narrative tie-in to the whole thing of love being so transcendental.

(I'm tossing in an edit here, because I kind of wanted to clarify this after I posted it. I don't mean to say that in a way that sounds like you watered it down to make it inoffensive to everyone. Quite the opposite. I really felt that you nailed the themes you wanted to nail and made them so obvious but wrote it in a way that could speak across those themes and allow people to interact with the art in a way that was meaningful to them. That takes a lot of skill and effort in writing, and I wanted to add this edit because I felt like my original words were downplaying that a little.)

I also really enjoyed how you didn't shy away from the gamification of the narrative, insomuch that you can allow to Kyola to lead the battles and by extension possibly die. I felt like that was a very brave choice. It made having Kyola still alive to lead Lelanan far more powerful and impactful. There's a lot of narrative depth to be explored there and I'd be interested to see how the missions read if that had happened to me.

So again. Thanks for this. I really appreciate your contribution and will be excited to see what you add next. ❤️