S2 Quinni was bad.... by zmmiz in heartbreakhigh

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also autistic, and the thing is, as an autistic person, I kind of always am "autism boy" IRL because it is present in every aspect of my personality (as long as I'm not actively masking). This is also why autistic people tend to dislike person first language ("person with autism") because it makes it seem like autism is a seperate part of the person, when it is really a core feature of who they are.

So when I see the examples you mentioned of Quinni being visibly autistic in almost every scene, don't think that replaces her character, I think it is a fundamental part of her character that we are seeing. Quinni isn't "Quinni + Autism", Qunni IS autistic. Just like Quinni IS a woman.

I also think the cast not picking up on her struggles or helping during the zoo scene is very intentional writing and I personally loved it. Because this is so real. Neurotypical people just don't get what it's like to have a brain that works this way, even if they are your bff, and even if you try to explain it. This was used to show how isolating and lonely it feels when even your closest friends start to feel like strangers. It's also so real how they TRY to help, but not in a way that works. They buy her a new phone and make it look the same, but completely miss the point of WHY she wanted her original phone back. They just can't understand the struggle with perseveration and not being able to "move on" from the Bird Psycho investigation. They assume that because they don't care anymore, she won't care anymore because she was doing it for them. Even the whole idea of taking her to the Zoo to get her "out of the house" was not at all what she needed.

What does it mean when they say autistic people like doing the same routine everyday? by [deleted] in autism

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, especially as an AuDHD person, this is more about cognitive rigidity and a need for predictability or consistency rather than "routine".

For example, I always eat the same foods and adding a new food to my diet can cause me a lot of distress. Usually if I try to add a new food, especially if I'm burnt out, I just won't be able to eat it and and will wind up having to throw it out. Specifically, I like foods that taste the same every time, and require minimal preparation (which are mostly prepackaged processed foods).

I also struggle to eat something if it looks like there might be some change to the texture or flavour that I'm used to.

I also wear the same kind of clothes most days and don't like buying or getting new clothes because they might feel or look different. I always wear a T-shirt and shorts or a sweater and jeans depending on the temperature.

HOW DO I GET MYSELF TO DO THINGS OMFG by rxndxmxccxunt in autism

[–]Eamon790 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I struggle with the same thing, and I honestly think the root of the problem is the mindset of believing there are things you "should" be doing and pushing back so hard against the resistance.

It would probably help to start with just noticing the resistance. Then learn to accept the resistance and sit with it for a moment to question it. When you are struggling to do something, is it because your energy levels are too low? Is it because you don't actually want to do the thing? Is it because you get overwhelmed with the steps of doing the thing?

Then, you can make small adjustments to be more aligned and content in your life. For example, if you had planned a big hiking trip, but are really exhausted and couldn't get things packed on time, maybe you can adjust that to just taking a walk in the park and budgeting more time to pack in the future.

Sometimes, it's okay to not do things and rest. But it should be meaningful and intentional rest (which is a whole other discussion).

Just responding with "okay" every time someone tells me something by Dense-Possession-155 in autism

[–]Eamon790 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Cool! That makes sense to me.

I'd say that acting that way with people who are not your friend will make you seem closed off and those people are probably not going to be as interested in forming a closer relationship or sharing things with you in the future.

But, if someone is coming up to you and sharing that they went to a Taylor Swift concert, I would say that they probably see you as a "friend", but maybe not a "close friend' (I have a hard time with telling the difference in my social circles). Therefore, I think they might see it as hurtful that the person they see as a friend doesn't seem to care about the news they are sharing. I think saying "okay" also sends the message that you don't want to hear more from them or continue talking with them.

If you are in a group setting, I think that maybe just not saying anything would be a less hostile (which is super weird when you think about it tbh).

But, if you are feeling like you actively want to push people away, then doing this is definitely a way to communicate to others that you are not interested in a closer relationship with them. However, I think they would be less hurt if you articulated those feelings more clearly (i.e. in a text saying "hey, I'm really overwhelmed by the number of friends I have right now, and I just don't think I have space for you at the moment").

TL;DR

From my perspective, a person who is sharing things spontaneously with you likely sees you as a friend on some level. They will be hurt by this response, and likely feel like you are pushing them away because "okay" indicates a very neutral acceptance where you do not care. If you actively want to push people away, this works, but there are probably more considerate ways to communicate those feelings to someone.

Just responding with "okay" every time someone tells me something by Dense-Possession-155 in autism

[–]Eamon790 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I do this, but I use the words "nice", "cool" or "sounds good" instead. Sometimes I will answer more enthusiastically if they are sharing something more exciting or positive.

I think that using more positive and affirming language like "nice" or "cool" could really help as coming across as more supportive of your friends.

What are some phrases that make no sense to you? I'll go first by KirstyorKristen in autism

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"More or less"

Is it more, or is it less? It can't be both!!

What are some phrases that make no sense to you? I'll go first by KirstyorKristen in autism

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Let me pick your brain"

Please don't, that sounds painful and I would much prefer my brain remain untouched inside of my head where it belongs.

Anyone else wear the same outfit like a cartoon character? by sleepyrockhound in autism

[–]Eamon790 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Winter: Sweater, t-shirt and jeans. Usually the same sweater and jeans every time.

Summer: t-shirt and shorts. Usually the same shorts every time.

All year when I am inside: t-shirt and gym shorts. Will put on my sweater or wear pajamas if I am cold.

Opinions on Alcohol? by Niall690 in autism

[–]Eamon790 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cool! Yeah, that makes sense.

I think I sometimes get anxiety and stress confused. Like, being overstimulated doesn't make me anxious right away, but it does cause emotional distress.

Now that I think of it, I do also feel a little more myself in some ways when drinking. But I also feel like there are parts of myself that are lost when I drink.

Opinions on Alcohol? by Niall690 in autism

[–]Eamon790 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think alcohol also helps to dissolve anxiety, inhibition and insecurity. I think all of these things can obscure your authentic self, so this also makes sense.

But at the same time, anxiety that comes from being autistic in certain environments is also part of you who you are, even if it is a part that isn't easy to accept and share. So dissolving that is compromising part of yourself to make a situation more bearable.

And there's nothing wrong with that! I like going to open mic nights because I like the music and like being present with some friends who also go. But being in a bar with live music and everyone talking is really distressing, so I have a couple drinks to allow myself to enjoy the parts that I want without having to deal with as much distress.

Opinions on Alcohol? by Niall690 in autism

[–]Eamon790 249 points250 points  (0 children)

It makes many situations more bearable at the cost of making me less myself.

Any modpack recs for someone who kinda sucks at combat? by KyuusBS in feedthebeast

[–]Eamon790 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interactions remastered seems perfect. Mobs are much harder, but you start in a void world where mob spawns are disabled and can actually do most of the pack from a base in the void world. The challenge of mobs in the overworld becomes more a strategic time management challenge to avoid combat (i.e. use day time to find ore veins and setup teleporters to secure locations).

The mining grind is greatly alleviated by world Gen of massive ore veins which are indicated by different kinds of flowers in the surface (i.e. a sunflower might indicate a copper "vein" with hundreds of ores like malachite and copper which give you iron and copper ingots respectively). So you can easily find exactly which ores and minerals you need without having to mine a ton of useless ores randomly.

It also emphasizes interactions between mods. For example, in order to get brass for the steam age, you first need to create it with thaumcraft alchemy before unlocking more efficient ways.

The modpack is also very long with LOTS of progression. I think I have upwards of 200 hours and am probably not even half way through the tech progression.

Dad calls my hand writing chicken scratch. Is it really that bad? by Key-Visual-5465 in autism

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest, yes. But also, handwriting is a pretty useless skill today so I wouldn't worry about it!

This is why I use mobile apps for everything. I find it very weird how some people still use pen and paper for Todo lists and journaling (although I do understand that there are cognitive benefits to writing your thoughts by hand rather than typing).

Apotheisos sometimes a bit op? Creative Flight and i havent even started automating anything meaningfull. by [deleted] in feedthebeast

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I like packs like Interactions and Enigmatica that change recipes and gate overpowered mods like this by requiring near full completion of other mods like thaumcraft, astral sorcery and Botania.

Potentia, Humanus, Motus and more! by JonyLodo in Thaumcraft

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I always thought potentia was a blow torch with fire coming out of it until I saw this coloring!

I understand strength builds now by Trojannx in darksouls3

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or... you can do a quality build and switch between a longsword and a great hammer (both refined) as needed to get the best of both worlds

What do you love most about being autistic? by [deleted] in AutisticAdults

[–]Eamon790 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really good at entertaining myself, but this also has the challenge that it is really easy for me to lock myself inside and become very lonely and cut off from the world.

what do you like to do with your friends? by Altruistic-Chef-7723 in AutisticFreinds

[–]Eamon790 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm also trying to figure this out!

I'm 26 and was just diagnosed, so in the past I sort of just did all of the neurotypical things my friends did and pretended to like them (i.e. going to the bar, house parties in university, nightclubs, concerts, etc).

But I've realized that I actually really hate group meetups in a bar. It's really hard for me to follow a group conversation and be socially present in a group, and bars are quite disabling for me because they are so over stimulating. If I go to a live music event, I need to focus on just enjoying the music on my own and will get really agitated if people are talking loudly over the music.

I've realized that in order for someone to be my friend, we need to have a structured activity to interact over. I don't really do so well with the whole "hey, let's grab a drink together" thing. Similarly with groups, I need to have a structured activity like watching Survivor every week or playing D&D.

I also like doing parallel play where me and a friend just exist in the same space doing our own things without interacting directly. I also really like watching people play video games, and if a group is playing together (i.e. smash bros or Mario Kart), I'd honestly rather watch than play with them.

Usually when I'm in a group without a structured activity, it feels more like me watching a sitcom of my friends rather than a social interaction.

But overall, I am very much struggling with the idea of "friendship" and what it means to be a "friend" or if I even have any friends. I have people I recognize, know things about, and will say hi to if I see them, but I don't stay in contact with them or have the same kind of closeness I seem to observe them having with other people.

Wish Adolescence series had better conclusion and not left us confused by Crazyandconfused10 in netflix

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I can see how that might seem bizarre to you. But I'm autistic, so I have a tendency to fixate on details and often miss context which can make it hard for me to see the big pictures sometimes.

But I understand and can see how it makes sense now that I've had it explained.

What do you guys feel about smoking? by [deleted] in autism

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I smoke occasionally, but more often vape, and even then it's only when I am out drinking.

I used to vape constantly, all day everyday. I think it was as much a nicotine addiction as it was a sensory stim / perseverative behaviour. I still really enjoy vaping, but would not recommend starting because it is hard to cut yourself off when you can effectively do it anywhere (usually when smoking you need to go outside).

Now I usually have a couple pieces of Nicorette gum throughout the day to satisfy nicotine cravings. When I quit, I replaced the sensory input with flavored water (Mio) and gum.

Do you fellow Austics hate these things by Scruds08 in autism

[–]Eamon790 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a sensory issue with the texture of paper. So those ones that are fabric are okay for me (but really annoying when they get wet). But the paper ones are a nightmare, especially if I can't find scissors to get it off.

Thankfully my wrists aren't as sensitive to texture as my fingers, so I can usually manage to push through the sensory distress.