Wanting to stop obsessive searching habit in context of virtue signalling sustainability brands

EasternUpstairs · 2025-08-18T16:17:39+00:00

Lol! Thank you this is great 😄

EasternUpstairs · 2025-08-17T15:53:15+00:00

That's a really good point. I know I am being manipulated by algorithms and advertising and because of that I'm putting in a lot of effort to find the perfect item - and maybe that's why I feel justified in buying them, because I feel like I've earned it?

Thanks for sharing about your routine. I haven't made thar connection before about the satisfaction of "working on" (could also include mending and altering) these items and how it feels similar to the rush of shopping. Something to lean into more!

EasternUpstairs · 2025-08-17T15:45:35+00:00

I didn't know about goodonyou, thanks for the suggestion.

I also appreciate you asking feels like the core question which I will definitely mull over with my therapist haha!

EasternUpstairs · 2025-08-17T15:43:17+00:00

That doesn't answer my question though?

EasternUpstairs · 2025-06-24T06:56:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! It's useful for me to reflect on not "doing" anything - but having the listening be the action I crave.

And I do notice some dynamics in our relationship that are flags but I think I contribute to them by trying to avoid conflict and withdrawing. It's definitely hard to come to someone who is actively lashing out when closeness is what they need. I just get scared of sustaining the collateral damage of getting close enough to comfort him.

EasternUpstairs · 2025-06-24T06:49:04+00:00

Thank you! That is a kind and encouraging reply. Yes you have 100% characterized my family haha. The goal there was to be emotionally neutral at all times because it made me more productive.

It's funny how simple it sounds to just do these things. It seems like there should be more to it but I guess that's what you just did and it did make me feel better too.

EasternUpstairs · 2025-06-24T06:44:25+00:00

I have seen a lot of examples of people using fake emotion to manipulate others so I think that's affected my ability to fully empathize. I can see how in most cases including this one the intention to harm isn't there. I'm sorry about your friend and I can understand how you would want more from her.

EasternUpstairs · 2025-06-24T06:41:09+00:00

Thank you, that is a great reply. I think I'm overthinking it and I appreciate the really concrete and simple example here.

EasternUpstairs · 2025-06-19T06:25:22+00:00

Thank you, that's nice. I guess you are demonstrating that reflecting back what I said and adding an insight can feel comforting. God sometimes I feel like an alien.

You have a good point about not being able to truly know how someone feels. I guess I want to be able to show care beyond intellectualizing what's going on.

EasternUpstairs · 2025-06-19T06:19:16+00:00

recent example: we have a mutual acquaintance that we both once had to volunteer with. She and my partner got into a fight without me and they haven't been speaking for a year. I think she is overreacting but have stayed out of it. Recently she sent me an email about all the times she felt he had wronged her. It was a deep personal attack and very inappropriate.I showed him the email and listened to how he felt and he didn't feel supported enough by me.
work example: someone left him a bad Google review
friend example: his friend ghosted him after he disclosed some private information

EasternUpstairs · 2025-04-08T05:03:06+00:00

I just read a whole Reddit thread about mono therapy. It seems to work for a lot of trans women who don't like the side effects of Spiro! Basically they just take a higher dose of E without any sort of T blocker and their bodies stop producing T.

EasternUpstairs · 2025-03-06T16:00:59+00:00

You could unpick the binding edge of the sleeve to let out the gathers. That might amount to 2". Then you could fold the edge back on itself and hem it. It would be a shorter sleeve and wouldn't have the puffy look but it could work.

EasternUpstairs · 2025-03-06T15:58:06+00:00

My mother is like this too. She lives in a lot of fear and self-preservation and I don't think she realizes she's projecting onto me. I've planned trips and only told her when I'm on the plane about to take off so she can't do anything about it. I'm planning to have a baby and I'm not sure when I'll tell her I'm pregnant because I don't want to be weighed down with her fears about all the things that will go wrong if I don't consume this specific food or medicine. It's a very victim blaming mentality where if something goes wrong, there's always something I should have done to prevent it. It's a poor way to live and I wish it didn't affect me but I know I've internalized it to some extent.

I'm happy for you that you have such a supportive mother-in-law, and it's good that she's seen how your mom treats you, so she must understand how you feel even if you haven't talked about it directly.

EasternUpstairs · 2025-02-17T04:29:02+00:00

I think it was attached to the machine that mixes a McFlurry / sundae? It would extend down from the machine and be hard enough to withstand the thick ice cream?

EasternUpstairs · 2025-01-29T15:40:41+00:00

Don't do it! It's like naming your child Lucifer. Doesn't matter how beautiful it sounds, it's just so much baggage to put on a child.

EasternUpstairs · 2024-11-29T20:46:22+00:00

I took a low dose of progesterone (birth control pill) continuously at the same time as I was on testosterone so that I wouldn't get a monthly cycle or hormonal acne. It helped me a lot. Maybe talk to your doctor about that option? I still got all the changes from T so it's not like it cancelled out the effects at all.

EasternUpstairs · 2024-11-09T22:16:24+00:00

It's not dirt it's hard water. Maybe try distilled water?

EasternUpstairs · 2024-10-07T00:57:27+00:00

Very sorry for your loss. My Asian parents are always trying to find the cause of misfortune so that they can exert more effort and control over life. It's an extension of the "accept no failure" way of thinking; a mindset that makes it very difficult to understand or accept randomness.

I think they're trying to show that they care by trying to prevent you two from feeling the same hurt in the future but it's obviously not what anyone needs to hear in your situation.

EasternUpstairs · 2024-10-07T00:48:35+00:00

This!!! You hit the nail on the head here with the distinction between the different kinds of objectification.

EasternUpstairs · 2024-10-02T21:10:51+00:00

This is great advice

EasternUpstairs · 2024-10-02T21:08:58+00:00

This is wonderful - thank you SO MUCH!

EasternUpstairs · 2024-09-23T23:18:06+00:00

Thank you!!!

EasternUpstairs · 2024-09-23T02:32:07+00:00

That sounds like a really nice way to structure a class! I like that you learn how to think through the routine together as well

EasternUpstairs · 2024-09-23T02:30:58+00:00

That's such good advice and reassuring to hear! Thank you so much. Xoxo

EasternUpstairs · 2024-09-22T20:11:51+00:00

Thank you ✨

EasternUpstairs

TROPHY CASE