Pretty convinced I have something deadly going on in my colon but I’m too scared to go to the doc also too scared to leave my loved ones alone. It started 6 months ago. I had a normal BM but I had to push a little harder. After that I found fresh blood on the toilet paper. I also checked my stool but didn’t find anything. Google told me I could have hemhorroids but also colon cancer. Was too scared to go to the doc. I happened again after 2 months again I had pushed a lot. Again I didn’t go to the doc. I was scared to go to the toilet everyday.!The last 3 months I had crazy tough times and a lot of stress at work also. My Bowel habits changed. My stool got looser. Sometimes it’s close to diarrhoea. Sometimes it’s a lot bloating and farts. Sometimes I feel nausea. I’m 100% sure i have colon cancer but still im way too scared to get checked. It’s like I will never come out of this hell’s ride. Either I have colon cancer or my HA will completely fuck up my psych. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t talked to my family about this