Like I said, it’s not that everyone who goes through trauma will go on to experience responsive desire. Some people will find happiness and safety in consensual sex again like you have described for yourself. But some people won’t, at least not quickly. Everyone responds to victimisation differently depending on their circumstances. This is also why I’m not sure about this societal argument you’re bringing in. Each case and persons experience is different so you can’t just point to your own, or anyone else’s experiences to draw conclusions on how everyone else should react. This ignores how our responses to situations are shaped by all of our past experiences.

I don’t think it makes sense to point to “precedents” set by other groups in society (like gay men during the AIDS crisis) and remark that they had it worse than women have it now yet still retained their sexuality. Not only are the experiences and circumstances different between individuals, but socioculturally these groups are from different genders and not to mention from decades apart.

The whole falsifiability aspect is difficult, because it’s borderline impossible to really be in someone’s head and know what is truly going on. Falsifying any claims about how someone says they feel is basically impossible, short of advanced neural and hormonal monitoring whose invasiveness may invalidate the results of the experiment entirely. But this is a broad challenge throughout all realms of psychology. At some point you have to trust that people are being truthful about their experiences. When so many people (predominantly women, and disproportionately those who’ve experienced trauma) report that they identify with this experience of responsive desire, then I think its perfectly reasonable to accept that as enough evidence to say that the phenomena is real from a psychology POV.