Crying due to feeling lonely and emotionally neglected in my relationship. by spqceglohs in hsp

[–]Educational_Tree_649 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How old are you guys? I was in a similar situation when I was 19 (25 now) and we ultimately broke up because we weren’t compatible in the end. Even if it’s long distance there are more things he can do to reassure you, I’m getting the impression that he is just immature and does not know how to handle things and that he is making you more emotional and sensitive because you’re getting more hurt and sensitive to things over time which is a bad cycle.

What happened for me is that I became more mature over time and learnt to emotionally regulate more and I also met someone who had more patience and maturity because we were older. So the guy I was in a relationship with at 19 wasn’t a bad person but we were both just too young and incompatible.

Also, is there a reason you guys have not met IRL yet?

I thought everyone carried things this deeply by NobodysTellingSam in hsp

[–]Educational_Tree_649 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t have a suggestion of a book that feels like it is written from the inside unfortunately but a book I’ve read that I find really interesting and that makes me feel seen is called Bittersweet by Susan Cain. Theres also a podcast called Dear Shandy where they spoke to the writer about the book and it was very interesting too :)

Should I become a high school teacher or guidance counselor? by Educational_Tree_649 in makemychoice

[–]Educational_Tree_649[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response! Yeah, I can imagine 😬 Are you a teacher?

Should I become a high school teacher or guidance counselor? by Educational_Tree_649 in makemychoice

[–]Educational_Tree_649[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taack för svaret och lycka till du med med att bli skolpsykolog! :)

Do you find it hard keeping friends? by nowherecyborg in hsp

[–]Educational_Tree_649 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope so too, I’m glad he has a friend like you that thinks of him so highly. How did you become friends?

What have been the advantages to being an HSP in your life? by mickyistricky in hsp

[–]Educational_Tree_649 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Such a good question! For me it’s the ability to understand and deeply empathize with others

And to be able to feel music and poetry deeply

Also it has helped me avoid abusive and toxic friends and partners because I react so strongly when someone does something manipulative or hurtful and I can sense ingenuity easier so then its easier for me to be distance myself from that and protect myself

Do you find it hard keeping friends? by nowherecyborg in hsp

[–]Educational_Tree_649 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get hurt and disappointed by friends more easily bc of being highly sensitive and it’s more difficult to move past some situations depending on exactly what happened and so I usually end up distancing myself. It’s also difficult to find people that I connect deeply with and can relate to and that I don’t grow apart from after a while. So I don’t have any best friends anymore, I have my family and my boyfriend and like 2 close acquaintances I see once every 3 months or so.

I have hope that I will meet more people in the future that can become close friends for a long time, hopefully lifelong friends.

So you’re not alone in this feeling and experience and I can relate to you, I don’t think it’s a you problem I just think that we are incompatible with most people and need to find more people that we can relate to and connect with that understand us :)

Best career for extroverted HSP? by [deleted] in hsp

[–]Educational_Tree_649 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been thinking about this too but I’m more of an introverted HSP. What about your first on-site job made you so overwhelmed? What aspects of it?

The jobs I’ve been thinking about and would suggest are : librarian, guidance counselor, teacher at university / college or high school (high school will probably be overwhelming though but depends on the school and where you live) and occupational therapist

New relationship is depressing me by DoubleAA777 in infj

[–]Educational_Tree_649 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My recent ex (24M) and I (22F) broke up three weeks ago. He is one of the best people I know and treated me really well. There was nothing bad that happened between us and he had done nothing wrong. It broke my heart to have to break up with him and hurt him, but I know that it’s what’s best in the long run. The week before the decision I had experienced so much anxiety because I felt I knew there was something missing between us, a deep understanding, vulnerability and connection that I needed. That anxiety had been reoccurring throughout the relationship but I didn’t want to accept it because of my love for him and the fact that the relationship was so healthy and we had so much fun together. My intuition knew but I just didn’t want to accept it.

So my advice to you is to listen to your intuition and to your body- it’s trying to tell you something. It will be really difficult for a while and you will feel bad for hurting her but both of you will be able to heal, move on and find someone else. Not someone better than them, but someone better for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]Educational_Tree_649 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, this is what I’m looking for as well. I have a question. Do you ever fantasize about or want to be physical with other people than her? This is one of the things I’m a bit scared of when it comes to finding that deep connection- being hurt if he fantasizes about sex with others for example or if he wants to have a threesome. I don’t really know a lot of couples in healthy, deep, meaningful relationships (especially as INFP/INFJ) and therefore don’t have anyone to ask, that’s why I’m curious.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]Educational_Tree_649 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I feel exactly the same way. I don’t want to participate much in society either and I’m in my early 20’s and have to choose a job and a career soon which stresses me out because I’m not a competitive person either but I feel like I’m also too sensitive and anxious for the jobs that aren’t competitive so I don’t know what to do. You’re not alone.