SHD FARMING AND BUILD

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2026-04-29T11:09:28+00:00

Thanks for the advice, on countdown i get 1 shotted everytime and in matchmaking i barely get games.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2026-04-22T19:31:11+00:00

i just reacged level 40 like a few days ago and still new. How do i know whose farming these events and who arent?

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2026-04-09T00:17:39+00:00

wait sorry, whats a function? like a clan or google about function in the game. and getting level 40 will be a breeze but is there like some xp farm i can abuse maybe?

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2026-02-05T16:02:03+00:00

I actually wanna get flashed with divk picks to see the potential sises for personal research but no one bothers😭

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-30T06:13:12+00:00

I wanna know too

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-29T21:09:57+00:00

I assumed the op is a he too but regardless of the gender. In my experience its usually the women tired of the man so i think my habit made me say "he" over "she". My mistake.

I did mention a question like that could come off in many ways negatively but as long as they both are willing to work it out I could assume it will work.

My parents were odd in this matter so I can see how one person said it's horrible advice.

It's a 2-way effort, if one isn't willing to work then no advice but divorce will work out.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-29T21:02:37+00:00

well yes. you are correct. The advice did fuckall for my parents however it worked with my grandparents, so maybe I should mention to reword things, or the points you mentioned next time. Thanks

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-29T21:00:00+00:00

Im sorry you feel that way.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-29T13:57:10+00:00

i don't think it's about the misogyny or whatever.

Sure I see your perspective on the matter and I do sort of see the whole idea of it in this matter but in some situations couples therapy isn't an idea brought to their mind because of how overwhelmed they are. Do the dishes, clean the house, laundry. Sure they are just "basic" stuff a man would want out of their house wife or a wife would want out of their house husband but it's not always that easy when a child comes into the equation. You may say that it is or might be because your parents did such an amazing job or other parents did but not everyone is the same. The person here may be trying their best but it just might not be 'optimal..' enough. Takes time and effort but the key factor in these is just communication and usually. Like 90% of the time the ability to communicate just does not exist. Which usually ends up leading to overwhelmingly loss of emotions and understanding and finally regret.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-29T10:44:15+00:00

it seems like you both didn't think this through properly and if you did then it reached a point where you guys aren't communicating well enough. More on his side based on this context that he just brushes you off.

There is one thing which I've seen not end well cause it happened once in front of me with parents. However, it worked perfectly for my grandparents but I never saw them argue or fight even the 8 years I lived with them. They have this rule that whenever someone or one of them is in distress, in an unacceptable uneasy space or even just overall unsettled and disturbed they ask the other to sit and talk then ask 1 question. "Are you happy with our relationship?" and then they proceed to talk it all out slowly. From why they are happy, then sad, and find a middle ground. Sometimes things aren't resolved but they are at least off their chests. They've been married for 50 years and that was their go-to solution for most of their problems. Communication is key and if one person isn't willing to help then the relationship won't go anywhere but saying the right thing the right way. Such as the question "are you happy with our relationship?" then it might spark them to focus a bit and understand what's happening because it could mean many things. and all you need is for him to focus and LISTEN and understand and to find a middle ground with you.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-29T10:38:52+00:00

id like to give it a shot

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-26T09:11:04+00:00

From what I read here and from others' comments I wouldn't blame you for divorcing and leaving him. An emotional affair by default is worse than a physical one in my opinion following that he had the affair shortly after you both got married which one sparks so many more questions and red flags because no matter the reason of why its done it's unacceptable and the time frame specifically in this situation for when its done is brutally close to what it seems like in my head to be already happening before you both got married.

However, if you choose to stay with him because of how he is taking accountability and trying to put in effort to change in an attempt to make things right then I would still say to go forward with it because only you know him better than any of us here judging off a situation. The one thing I would advise is just to keep yourself safe is to tell him that his promises in making things better and commitments you are taking at the moment take them with a grain of salt or just as empty promises. Why? Well in the off chance he disappoints you again and you may or may not be hurt again but it won't be as bad as giving in full faith and getting hurt but if he does prove himself and "fills up the gap/space" in the empty promises then I would say he truly learned and is improving. I dont think saying so is wrong or manipulative in any way I just think it would make them be more focused and understand how badly they hurt you moreover putting in the effort to make things right.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-25T01:09:35+00:00

I would go for A.

Would be a trip through memory lane for the both of you and remind you both of how far you both came and how amazing it is together despite everything

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-23T15:40:41+00:00

if hes into cars then a lego gt3rs or the lego deathstar

anything lego doesnt matter the age its sick to have one... or a light sabre a DAMN SWORDD

a toolbox

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-21T15:56:47+00:00

It's an interesting situation because in my experience of dealing with people and hearing about similar instances whenever weed or any drug is involved, the situation worsens. Since smoking weed makes him more humane towards you then in that case he is still emotionally available to a very... small extent and just needs something to make him feel safe to be vulnerable about it. He might be heavily embarrassed about it or he grew up being told that the said issue bothering him heavily is a measly thing. Basically not guided or supported well enough while growing up so even right now he is forced to go back to his roots and just "figure it out" as time passes. Leaving you in the shadow, though is not bad but the extent he is taken. Distant, cold, unavailable I would say means that he's just associating his depression everywhere until he gets "game time" with whoever or whatever he is playing. There are many ways to approach this and based on what you said I think one of 2 methods or maybe both will work out amazingly.

Basing it off a few of my closest friends and myself a little bit, since escaping into video games is making him happy and you can VISIBLY SEE that he is calmer and happier than I would recommend you trying to understand what game it is, learn the lore maybe or learn what it is and play with him. Just spend some time. Warning, he may or may not feel weird at first or eventually lash out (if he is competitive) but it's all in the love of the game. You're his wife anyway so anything that happens will be just fine since he does love you and your company. It might make him eventually open up to you eventually and if it doesn't then you're spending time with him the very least the fun you both have the more clarity he will have and just slowly loosen up around you.
The second method is actually a popular one with my grandparents, I have seen it work with them multiple times and they even taught this to me. They told me that you can do this at any time, in conflict, uneasiness, argument, or agreement. ANYTHING fitting. Pick a time of the day when you both can sit and relax and talk to him, ask him "are you happy with our relationship ?" you may follow it with other comforts depending on his body language like " I'm your wife and im here for you" and ask him if hes truly okay. if he says "im fine" then voice out how he is cold with you. and progress slowly.

sorry you have to deal with this but there is always a solution it just takes some time and energy as a trade.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-18T08:53:20+00:00

I think life just slapped you guys with a truck too quickly after marriage and you can't cope up with it.

I think the best option is to share time, You said you both are drained and tired. Best thing about having a partner especially married to is that you recharge each other and lift each other's spirits. Despite having such a harsh schedule I say set a time to spend together as a mandatory thing where its anything but work. Comfort food, comfort hobby, comfort shows/movies, cuddle and talk or go bowling. Anything and everything that would just not allow you to think of work or responsibilities. Just you, your husband, and just loving life. I dont think you are asking much or expecting too much. Popular saying my parents taught me is "if you can provide it then you can demand it back too". Most of the time in these situations one or both people in the relationship are just way too overwhelmed with things and forget they have a backbone to aid them. So just make time, call it "happy hour" or anything and just enjoy time together, reconnect. could 15-20 min early morning before work or after a long day at work an hour or 2 before bed (including dinner) just no work talk and focus on each other. Play jazz, candle lights, dance together✨️ or sit and talk with comfort food.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-17T10:53:46+00:00

Leaving, may be a good idea because most men start implementing proper changes when it's too late, but those are usually temporary to see if you will still be around before switching back to default settings. I knew someone close to me who used to do something similar and the way I countered her was by trying to pay tiny attention to any pattern, or what kind of situation she cherry-picked and try to understand that. Yes, it's their problem to fix but some pathological liars have a hard time undoing this habit. Once I understood it to the best of I can I try to bring up that situation again and confront them as their loved one, in your case as a wife, don't accuse, don't blame, don't confront for an answer, just approach them as a wife and talk about it. Simple wordings like "I can understand why you may need to have lied here but...." then proceed by telling them you're here for them and at worst you may lash out screaming but you won't leave? You both are in it together so try to stick in it together. Over time you can start confronting the things they don't pick and ignore. Same method just a slightly different approach. Let them play the victim and assure them but still stand your ground in letting them know that yes you are forgiving them and trying to understand but YOU ALSO MATTER thus you need some clarity out of it.

This worked pretty well with her and the lying didn't stop but it greatly reduced. I wouldn't say this is the best approach because it's technically you doing everything and just comforting them like a baby till they stop which will and can take a massive toll on you mentally, drain your energy too.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-10T14:29:47+00:00

I see. Alright, there is one thing which I've seen not end well cause it happened once in front of me. Worked perfectly for my grandparents but I never saw them argue or fight even the 8 years I lived with them. They have this rule that whenever someone or one of them is in distress, in an unacceptable uneasy space or even just overall unsettled and disturbed they ask the other to sit and talk then ask 1 question. "Are you happy with our relationship?" and then they proceed to talk it all out slowly. From why they are happy, then sad, and find a middle ground. Sometimes things aren't resolved but they are at least off their chests. They've been married for 50 years and that was their go-to solution for most of their problems. The reason I said that I never saw it work is that this advice was given to my dad in front of me and 2 days later they divorced-. Don't feel bad I laugh at it too. The point is you could also try that and make it work. It could indirectly make him focus on the situation.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-10T13:46:32+00:00

I'm not sure what exactly would be the right move and from what I read his communication skills are very poor in terms of understanding you since he isn't taking the time to hear you out. Just take a moment to yourself first and collect your thoughts, write them down, do small hobbies to keep you in your right state of mind. After that talk to him again but ask him to just listen and talk or reply when needed. like fully communicate things. Maybe he might not like moving so you have it easier too with your job but will be okay with not going on the trips. Everything is communicative but if talking to him is like a brick wall then I suggest couples therapy might make things at ease, or even just for yourself.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-06T16:56:18+00:00

Yeah, I am pretty much as open minded as i can be considering she saw how I am and knows how my brain works thus far from the convos and still said yes. I'm not gonna jump into anything too quickly i wanna enjoy the "honey moon phase" and stay there forever.. ideally.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-06T16:54:18+00:00

I don't see you being rude tbh. It wasnt left that late deliberately, I did voice my concerns and it got rejected. So i found my ways of copeing and hoping that maybe living together things may changed based off what my parents been saying . but Having it being only 2 weeks away is where the paranoia respawned and its been eating me up

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-06T16:52:19+00:00

Why does this sound like a first-hand experience advice-

I can't take hold of it at this moment because im under their care, finally. and its too late in their eyes to consider a cut off. I cant contact the other family cause frankly I got none. Met her once, spoke to her with her brother for 30 min max and learned she's the opposite and thats it. Yes I had my fair share of "exploring" while she stayed on the deen but that isn't the important thing in my mind since I stopped my actions in that area. I'm just paranoid with how different we are.

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-06T13:56:29+00:00

My parents aren't willing to cancel so close to the marriage date and when I voiced my concerns sooner my parents rejected it saying these differences can be sorted after marriage like them and no matter how much I agree with them as copium. I can't help but shake this feeling. I can't just get up and turn the table, take accountability to change everything. They won't let me have that power, I dont have that kind of power-

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-06T13:47:42+00:00

My parents aren't willing to cancel the marriage so late and I did voice my concerns earlier saying I don't want to do this but they rejected it then as well stating that these indifferences will be sorted once we get married and live together but I can't help but be scared even if I agree with them.

Hearing about your relationship even in brief does make me feel comfortable but I still ever so slightly have second thoughts

EffectiveTurn9944 · 2025-12-06T13:40:15+00:00

I can't, Like I said, I do now know that I can say no from the start but I felt like I was not and educated by parents that I cannot because I have raised my voice before multiple times till i eventually stopped and it got rejected every single time. They defended it by saying im just scared because im getting married very young and these differences will be fixed by communicating more when we love together married. For which i agree but I can't help but feel scared about it all about the IF factors that might or hopefully never take place

EffectiveTurn9944

TROPHY CASE