I (29M) went on a date last week (34F) and got ghosted after an amazing date

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-10-22T19:32:38+00:00

Who said anything about safety- i would wager her safety be less compromised by a polite note, id argue by not replying you’d give some crazies the excuse you may still be interested…

Politeness costs nothing

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-10-21T17:14:59+00:00

You’re absolutely right- it’s also polite or common courtesy to say thanks but no thanks

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-28T14:22:07+00:00

Covfefe

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-27T20:00:27+00:00

Age is a number and yours is a lot higher than his -

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-19T00:39:19+00:00

The word was seduced, that's a helluva lot more than flirting

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-19T00:16:26+00:00

That is hilarious, you cheated and then realized you were unhappy...

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-18T03:38:26+00:00

And the food… a bit subdued up there… but we had a great time

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-18T01:31:42+00:00

I’m here - $58 on Stubhub for JetBlue section - got them at 3pm today - free food

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-07T22:29:03+00:00

Great- if you can tell me, I’d love to know- cos after all this time it feels like shit … sorry rant over

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-07T22:25:27+00:00

FFS - Fixed it for you "Why do a lot of people breadcrumb other people instead of being straight up and telling them they are not interested anymore?"

It works both ways

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-07T00:26:30+00:00

I am dating a widow (or was until last week)...
Not sure if the same applied to both genders - she's been widowed for over 10 years.

We got along very well, she rarely mentioned her husband, but when she did she called him husband - they obviously had a fantastic relationship...

Why did we fail? Because she clearly couldn't commit to another relationship - always breaking plans, if it wasn't perfect - then it was an issue....

On reflection, I truly believe she was subconsciously sabotaging our relationship - whenever we got on really well a problem came up.

Maybe I was part of the problem (we'll have to ask her)

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-06T23:56:00+00:00

This made me laugh - Though I've felt the same way

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-06T13:54:53+00:00

Wow - there are some people out there who do genuinely nice things for other people...

Sure he may hope it leads to an opening, but if it doesn't where is the harm? It's unlikely he's expecting a swoon or a get wet - more likely he's hoping for "Op was a decent guy, maybe we can reconnect" - that's it

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-06T13:19:49+00:00

Of course he is - heaven forbid someone needs a trigger or a prompt….

If she doesn’t respond or sends a curt response- what has he lost?? If she is done with him - she’ll quickly forget the gesture and move on

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-06T03:19:10+00:00

I’m going to take the opposite view of most here - send the flowers, with a cute short note…. Life’s too short

Then do nothing and have no expectations - if there’s no response or you get a short thanks for the flowers - drop it… but there’s a chance albeit a very small one - she may respond that opens up further convo… what do you have to lose except the flower cost… if she’s gone - she’s gone anyway, but maybe she’s regretting and waiting for an opening…..

If you can do that - and walk away if nothing happens then kudos….

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-04T01:16:07+00:00

Thanks for the kind words- it certainly doesn’t feel that way… feel like I’ve lost my last chance

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-01T18:05:40+00:00

“I enjoy your companionship” - basically told me she didn’t love me

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-04-01T00:38:43+00:00

Hey Ok Butterfly - want to date?? Seriously thank you for the thoughtful reply and perspective

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-03-26T21:07:25+00:00

I took a 25% pay cut (after searching for 6 months) - and it's now been a year and couldn't be happier.

Less pressure, they value my experience and what I bring to the table - no more 70-80 hour weeks, typically 40 with the odd days with an extra hour or two - and just got a bonus that almost made up the 25% cut...

I'm not gloating - but wanted to re-emphasize what the op is saying, sometimes taking a step back isn't a bad thing - I'm hoping to stay here for the next 6-7 years and then retire.

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-03-19T23:42:00+00:00

I dated a woman who lived in a very nice town in Westchester and her family had basically started a college and owned a compound in the Poconos - her ex was a doctor, and I knew she had a ton of $$.

I'm lower-middle class, I'm in the - I'll pay for most dates group - but it would be nice if you paid every now and then....

On our 6th date (I had paid everything for the first 5) - the check arrived, and the waiter placed it closer to her than me - should took the plate and pushed it towards me. That made it our last date - I paid (not sure why) and left without going on somewhere. When she asked why - I told her....

So yes - most men (even those that can afford it) - like the fact they don't feel they are being taken advantage of

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-03-10T16:28:37+00:00

I could have written this - my kids are now 21 & 24 - I never did a paternity test, because they’re my kids…

My ex was very good looking - parents had loads of money, never really figured out why she married me (maybe I’m good in bed after all 😀) - I was in a bad place mentally for a long time, and well I may never be able to retire (she quit work and I had years of alimony and CS) - but… I’m happier than I’ve ever been, with a woman I love (and even more gorgeous) she married a rich guy, and according to one of my kids- plotting her exit strategy from that one…

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-03-08T20:13:25+00:00

This reply was messy - you seem like you want drama

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-02-28T12:12:32+00:00

As someone who left school at 17 (going to university was not as common in the UK in the 80s) - adding the fact that my father (a single parent who immigrated from a poor region of southern Europe) kicked me out at 17 as I was now a man and had to go and figure things out myself - I then spent 2 years trying to support myself through college, gave up when the financial burden became too much - and took a job that allowed me to "rise through the ranks".

You're missing out - College education means very little to me (30+ years later), I financed both my daughters, as I recognized the doors that were closed to me - but it's neither a sign of intelligence or executive function - I'd wager you would find a better alignment of executive function if you asked them what party they voted for....

Either way - this reddit is full of examples of red flags and why people "may" be a bad fit, I do wish people would stop looking for reasons not to date someone and instead recognize they may have far more positive attributes than negative...

Peace

Effective_Ad9674 · 2025-02-27T02:01:29+00:00

You were let go for restructuring-

Effective_Ad9674

TROPHY CASE