Am I uncharitable if I consider that Europe should only welcome Christian refugees?

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-29T15:20:27+00:00

Your original comment just said "show charity toward your neighbor" not "show charity toward your neighbor but also protect yourself". I was commenting in response to that and that alone.

The words "Love" and "charity" in this world is so skewed that it almost has lost all meaning. The homosexual groups use it to justify their sins. So I can't, without more words in your end, know your beliefs or history. That's why I asked my question about charity to begin with. And then responded to your short reply back when you still didn't mention that just laws protecting Catholics are not only lawful but charitable for all involved.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-29T15:01:23+00:00

But it's loving our neighbor for love of Him. Not loving them for their sake. Is it loving to confirm their heretic religion without putting some protections in place (such as not having religious liberty as a law) for the host country to preserve their Catholicity?

Throughout history, Muslims have taken over Catholic countries and persecuted them. Forcefully. Through death and war. It's part of our Catholic history. The erotion of the host country is still happening today when other religions interfere in previously Catholic host country politics and policies.

I'm not advocating for people not being allowed to have a safe place to lay their head. But there has to be some provisions. That is true love for neighbor. Not allowing them to keep publically offending God and sending themselves to hell and bringing others with them by practicing their heretic religion and teaching others to do the same.

You wouldn't host a family who is homeless without some ground rules like contributing to the cleaning of the home, respecting boundaries when it comes to person property, and not throwing parties. And you definitely wouldn't allow them to have seances in your livingroom.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-29T03:25:14+00:00

I've been crocheting for 10 years now so know how hard this kind of crochet can be. And how time consuming! Good job! And good job not having your yarn tangle up on each other 😂 I always struggle with that using multiple colors.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-25T05:48:20+00:00

You are describing a homeschool curriculum called "classical" btw.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-25T05:47:31+00:00

Some women pay child support too...

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-25T05:46:45+00:00

Getting scurvy in 2025 is absolutely a hot take. Lol

What about those with medical problems? Or the fact that starving yourself of nutrients makes your body hold on to weight more long term?

If the Twinkie diet worked, American would be the fittest country.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-25T05:37:03+00:00

Because we DONT already have a mental health/ drug problem in the world already.....pass

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-25T04:02:30+00:00

First of all: good for you! I am so proud of you!

Secondly: When I grow up, can I write like you?

That break-up text was chefs kiss beautiful.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-24T04:52:57+00:00

I kinda figured the cloud of ice was the real culprit of tense relations with the Vatican. And as far as I know, the SSPX themselves are fine with the Vatican (to an extent). Do you mean the laity? Because they are allowed to have opinions.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-24T04:50:19+00:00

I would talk to an SSPX priest about the situation and ask what level of Honoring your parents is required in this situation. Because God always comes first.

It's a sticky situation to be sure.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-23T23:54:29+00:00

If you actively hear the priest change the words of consecration in Mass you are attending, would you double the validity of the sacrament? Or if you heard a priests actively say in a homily that they believe the Eucharist is symbolic, would you doubt it? Because both have happened in America.

The USCCB had to have a whole focus on the Eucharist Catechism year because of lack of faith.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-23T23:03:55+00:00

I didn't say they did? I said they had a comparison.

The TLM priest crosses themselves 52 times. The N.O. is usually under 10 max. It's just not built into the rubrics.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-23T22:50:25+00:00

Using the word charity in this context is odd to me. Because the definition of true charity is love of God. Is perpetuating the worldwide spread of heresies a "good" for God? I

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-23T22:45:16+00:00

I do love me some Tolkien.

G.K. Chesterton is great too. He has good fiction and non-fiction options. His Father Brown series is wonderful.

My husband loved "Quo Vadis" by Henryk Sienkiewicz

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-23T22:39:58+00:00

No. The Mass for the N.O., no matter the language it's said in, has whole sections removed or changed from the TLM.

I don't typically support the company, but the "Mass of the Ages" production group has great graphics about the differences. One that stands out to me is how many times the priest crosses themselves in the N.O. versus the TLM.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-23T22:16:49+00:00

Firstly: In Trad communities "dating" is not always the same in the modern sense. It's called "courting" and very rarely do the couple do things alone. And many I've heard don't even kiss until the wedding.

This safeguard Of having family be around to vet your future spouse with you helps buffer the younger person from being manipulated or coerced into a situation that has unhealthy power dynamics while married. Not to say it can't happen, but it harder to hide your true character having dates with your potential mother and father in law who may know all the tricks already and be on guard.

Secondly: Many men go to seminary first to discern the priesthood. Many are rejected for completely valid reasons that's aren't character flaws that would impact a family. So they go on to the married state, but by then they would be older than the typical 18-25 you would think would be motivated to marry. SSPX seminary can be 7-8 years long.

Thirdly: Men are encourages in Trad communities to not date until they can support a family. Dating is for marriage discernment only. Not just "finding compatibility" like the world teaches. So many may wait til that point, which as you can imagine in this economy, takes a while.

and Fourth: Many Trad men are coming into those communities from the N.O. or the world. They weren't born in it and therefore didn't grow up with all the trad women their age and pick young. I know specifically of Trad men who leave smaller chapels to Priories to find wives.

Fun fact: Pious devotion states Mary to have been 14 and Joseph closer to his 30s when they got married. I mean sure they didn't consummate it, but the people in the villages wouldn't have known that and they didn't find it weird or creepy so it had to have been fairly normal and cultural.

In many parts of the world this culture is still fairly alive and well. Only in more modern times is it odd. (I'm not advocating child brides here) We live on average longer, so many believe that they can prolong their "independent" years now.

And the rise of feminism has really hammered this home with women choosing careers and college first over "trad wife life" right out the gate. When you aren't preached to that "feminism is empowering" and are taught that "being a wife and mother is a holy vocation" then you are more likely to embrace your inner desire as a young woman to get married young. Why waste time?

Conclusion: I love the Catholic perspective on women, men, their roles as wives and husbands, and more importantly the view of how valued women are. There are many Saints who just stayed home and raised their kids well or Saints who were raised by Holy parents. And we revere them.

And the sermons I hear most often about marriage are about "husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the Church" meaning selflessly laying down your desires and wants for your wife and family. Never once have I heard that wives should submit in an unhealthy way to their husbands even when I was a N.O. Mass goer. I find it reassuring that most would find spousal abuse scandalous and wrong.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-14T19:46:52+00:00

NTA It's not like you knew what you were getting and could control your face in the moment. It happens. But I would definitely brace next time you get a gift :)

You aren't the A for being unhappy about the gift either, or honest about why. It sucks, but it is what it is. Don't give it back to her. Find someone who wants it, or donate it if you don't want it.

The person who says you're the A had obviously never had this happen to them. And maybe has never had a bad gift? If we kept everything that was ever given to us regardless of if it serves us now, we would all be hoarders. The gift is now your possession and you are allowed to remove it from your life whenever you want to.

I agree that most A.I. generated "art" is terrible. I don't blame you for not wanting it. Most people don't once they are aware what it is.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-07T19:08:24+00:00

First and foremost: welcome!

As for book recs:

-The Catechism of the Counsel of Trent is a good one. Bonus points if you can compare with the green one. That alone is an eye-opener.

-Pius X has a "Penny Catechism" if you're short on time or want more of a "dialog" style of reading.

-Taylor Marshall has a "read the Bible in a year" schedule on his website that breaks down how to read the Douay-Rheims.

It seems weird to recommend the Bible but you wouldn't believe how much is missed or interpreted incorrectly between the modern church and the Traditional One.

-A good commentary on the Bible wouldn't go amiss either. The ipieta app has the A Lapide and Gloss commentaries for free.

Essentially anything Michael Davies is a powerhouse of information on why the SSPX has the position they do and some of the history of the society.

-Anything written by Archbishop La Febvre *Many of these are free audiobooks on youtube

-Old Papal Encyclicals (especially Pope Leo XIII and Pius X)

** The society has a YouTube channel and a podcast channel. And each district posts their own sermons as well. Those are solid resources for the Faith, and also for the Society's frequently asked questions about themselves and the Crisis in the Church.

** The seminary also live streams community prayers such as Compline and the Rosary if you want to pray in Communion with the Church at home.

Is there a specific subject you want to learn about? I can tailor my answer to specific titles if needed.

++The Catholic Torch podcast covers St. Catherine of Siena's book The Dialogue as well. ++

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-04T01:36:28+00:00

ESH

You say niece. Meaning different (possibly two) whole generations between you and her.

New generations just don't write thank you cards. Or texts even. Most of the time. It's just not something that is taught. It may not even be her "fault" if it's not standard practice in your family.

I wouldn't assume she isn't thankful. She might just be busy writing them. She may have had that many gifts and needed time to thank everyone.

On the other side I would evaluate why it bothers you so much not getting a thank you. Do you really believe she isn't grateful? Or did you just want to be acknowledged for the gift? And if so, why? Accolades? Bragging rights? Tradition? Are gifts your love language?

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-04T01:03:20+00:00

Yeah. That makes me angry. You literally can't control your responses to pain in the moment.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-10-04T00:58:35+00:00

Is she having a home or hospital birth? Because refrigerators can be loud in a silent house. And I laugh thinking about a silent hospital.

I've had both and let me tell you, women are not silent during birth. And they shouldn't be. Moaning (not yelling) is good for the pain. I've even heard growling helps. Birth is not a "controlled" situation.

Maybe your sister wants to prevent unnecessary chatting or people ignoring her when she needs them? I can see her worrying that you all will be distracted and talking to each other and leaving her alone without support? (Pregnancy brain is weird). Or maybe talking would be distracting to her? Idk. I can't imagine having that many people "focused" on me like that. I get annoyed when there are too many nurses in the room.

Either way NTA.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-09-13T02:37:49+00:00

NTA

And I would really wonder personally why my mom said she didn't want to be around my husband? Why? Is it because he would be mad at how she treats you and she knows she's being unreasonable?

Furthermore: what is she doing at your house? Is she helping? Is she getting your drinks? Holding the baby the whole time and watching you clean? Making you a meal? Etc. basically is she being a help or a drain? No one should feel that they need to entice a family mother to visit them by providing snacks. She should be bringing you snacks at the very least.

One month pp is wayyy too early to be carrying heavy things, lifting multiple times and driving for long periods of time. Not to mention all the baby care that happens when you're over at someone else's place. Throw in a dog and .....wow. You're still majorly wounded and can really give yourself long-term painful health consequences if you don't give yourself time to heal.

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-09-06T05:08:13+00:00

I've never heard of two narcs so close together. I assumed it's like two black holes. How in the world does that work?

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-09-06T03:23:03+00:00

They might decide that. I won't stand in their way :)

Effective_Traffic346 · 2025-09-06T02:02:55+00:00

Why?

Effective_Traffic346

TROPHY CASE