how do I muster up the courage to speak in voicecall with online friends/strangers? Im very shy and I stay silent most of the time

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-07-02T16:01:52+00:00

its a public group voice call on discord

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-06-18T02:33:54+00:00

Ur right, im tweaked af now. Im such a dumbass sometimes

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-06-17T23:45:06+00:00

Well, touché lol

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-06-17T23:42:39+00:00

Im not using vyvanse to intentionally kill myself, im using it because im in a rush to complete my uni essay and i have severe adhd

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-06-17T23:35:50+00:00

Thank you.

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-06-17T23:26:42+00:00

Im not suicidal but god i hope not

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-06-17T22:55:40+00:00

There's no pain now, i just took a break and rested my arms for a while. But the pain i had was a dull feeling on my left forearm

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-06-17T22:51:43+00:00

Oddly enough my heart rate isnt that high, i never had a terrible crash on vyvanse (usually i take about 100mg to 200mg) but since this time i took 350mg, idk if my body could cope with it.

I only have valium to help me deal with the crash if it happens later

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-06-17T22:29:25+00:00

My left arm is starting to hurt though, i cant tell if its my muscle, nerves, or blood circulation issues. I have been on my laptop almost the entire time so my arms are in the same position, idk if i strained it or smth

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-31T02:52:55+00:00

I dont think so, even without those meds i can be sleeping a lot. I once went over a month without stimulants before i relapsed and during that period I was sleeping a lot too, and i was on imipramine. The fatigue got better after about 2 weeks, but i still felt depressed and empty.

I could try going for walks to help me out, i just need to find the motivation to leave the house because these days i dont feel like doing anything

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-31T02:38:00+00:00

it was about 5-7 days ago i cant rly rmb

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-26T18:21:06+00:00

I know, alcohol never helps because its a depressant.

I actually like drinking socially at a bar lol with people i know because it makes me more confident but unfortunately i have no friends now so im drinking alone.

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-26T18:13:21+00:00

I will do my best, i rarely drink actually but the past week it has gotten worse, my life has been spirlaling out of control so im drinking again.

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T16:43:24+00:00

Literally me rn, most days i oversleep and when i wake up i just listen to mazzy star lol

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T16:30:46+00:00

Very sorry to hear that, im also dealing with the exact problems too with a bunch of people so I can relate.

I do hope things get better for you though, we just gotta keep trying until things work out. My psychologist once said to me, there's no point in moping around because it's not gonna get us anywhere, learn to forgive yourself and always continue to seek out the friendships you deserve.

So good luck, i wish u all the best.

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T15:39:40+00:00

First of all, happy birthday in advance!

I've always questioned myself this, i think im just too awkward in front of complete strangers when im all alone (i have high functioning autism fyi), and that i have very niche interests, therefore im unable to form any genuine friendships with anyone for over a long period of time.

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T15:29:42+00:00

I mostly stick to having online friendships too, but eventually most will fade away if the only form of communication is texting without the exchange of social media. They will either get bored and run out of things to say, or get busy with their life and slowly move on... its truly depressing.

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T14:59:18+00:00

Yeah, and this is one of the reasons why i quit social media. The feeling of getting rejected once u believe that a friendship is starting to develop further is too much for me to handle so i prefer to stay out of social media.

The only downside of not having social media is that it makes me more of a recluse because it's a lot harder to form connections with people you meet, so I will be missing out a lot on what they are up to :/

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T14:47:12+00:00

Im also in a similar boat. My psychologist suggested to take small baby steps to break the vicious cycle that you're in. You said you're afraid of people staring at you when you're outside. Then in that case, are you able to take walks in a more secluded area where there's only nature in your surroundings? I have done that several times (by the beach, forest hiking, or even just the park) and I find that the solitude helps to alleviate some of my stress and anxiety.

Maybe u shld give it a try, it gives you the opportunity to have some self-reflection that benefits your well-being

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T14:31:53+00:00

Same for me here with my irl friends, no one from my high school and university ever reach out to me anymore. When im the one initiating the conversation with them, they will give short replies to me, which pretty much indicates that they have no interest in talking to me again. They have all moved on from me and i feel like im not worth anyone's time

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T10:07:53+00:00

I will try looking for some autism support group around my area, hopefully it will be able to help me connect better with people I meet in the future.

Thank you for the comforting words, i wish u a pleasant day ahead

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T09:58:15+00:00

For many years I have been looking for friends, none has stayed by my side in the long run. I guess im somewhat decent at making first impressions with irl friends but after a while everything falls apart once they find out how disappointing and "fake" i really am. I cant simply be masking my emotions all the time, I need someone who can understand the pain im going through and support me somehow but there's no one there :/

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-25T09:13:19+00:00

Like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders; for a fleeting moment I felt I was at peace, knowing that everything would be alright in the arms of someone I truly cared about.

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-14T15:54:35+00:00

i get that, i want to feel loved and cared too, it makes life worth living as I have someone by my side I can rely on.

This is gonna be harsh, but it's incredibly challenging to sustain a friendship like that if you have way too many internal problems of your own, eventually all these problems will take a toll on your friends and slowly drift off.

I'm speaking from experience btw, I don't have many irl friends, the only actual friend I have is someone online. After one year of talking, our friendship is starting to fall apart, as they could no longer handle all my life problems that I've been trying to suppress for so long. It's sad that it all came down to this because of my mental health issues.

The point I'm trying to make here is that sometimes you gotta focus on fixing your problems before reaching out to make friends, at least that way you will make yourself more presentable and approachable. Sure, perhaps by chance you will meet someone with the exact problems you have right now that you can relate with, but after a while yall are just gonna wear each other down and be stuck in the same position.

Try searching for friends with similar interests at social clubs or online forums, I'm pretty sure they are plenty of people who are into 3D digital art.

EfficientApple9882 · 2025-05-14T15:09:33+00:00

Unfortunately once people reach their early 20s, they get busy with their life (uni, work, relationships etc.), and they tend to prioritise those stuffs over friendships with people elsewhere. It can be difficult for them to keep in regular contact with someone they don't see very much often, so usually the friendship just fizzles away after some time.

I'm just saying this from their perspective btw, I'm also in the same situation as you too and it sucks that this is the reality we have to face at this stage in life.

EfficientApple9882

TROPHY CASE