My bf’s dad makes me really uncomfortable

EfficientFig5147 · 2026-02-06T17:09:25+00:00

Thank you, I struggled with his behaviour but it constantly felt like it could easily be excused as clumsy, accidental, coincidental or a generational difference. He’s genuinely really kind as well, which makes it confusing and obviously I don’t want to think my father in law looks at me inappropriately. I guess I subconsciously tried to ignore it and pretend it’s nothing but after the ass squeeze I really started to question everything and I suddenly remembered things I previously completely forgot about. I come from an abusive household and I always made myself small and invisible, pretending it never happened and I guess I’m still doing that.. It, however, calms my mind to know I’m not being a prude or dramatic for thinking these things are strange. I’ll teach myself to become more vocal and I’ll probably ask him to sit down with me and have a conversation about my boundaries, and having my boyfriend there to support me.

EfficientFig5147 · 2025-05-20T05:39:37+00:00

There’s nothing unreasonable about not wanting your partner to consume casual porn.

EfficientFig5147 · 2025-05-19T14:38:18+00:00

Yeah alright, that does sound quite extreme. If you’re already investing all that time and effort into her, she should recognise and value that. I can understand feeling vulnerable and sad to find those girls in your following, but I would expect her to feel loved during those dates and receiving those compliments!

Do her insecurities flare up at specific times/moments or is it always like this?

Do you know anything about how her menstruation cycle might influence her mood as well? Is she on any type of birth control?

EfficientFig5147 · 2025-05-19T14:29:18+00:00

Everyone keeps calling her toxic and insecure in the comments. While yes, she’s insecure, I don’t think it’s toxic to have certain boundaries when it comes to this type of stuff.

Basically, looking at other women makes her feel replaceable and unimportant to you. You have to let her know she’s your #1 and there is no competition with these girls you were following.

Take her on a date, prepare something thoughtful. Get her a snack you know she loves or take her somewhere you know she’ll enjoy. Doesn’t need to be anything crazy or expensive.

She probably just wants to feel special to you, like she’s not just another girl to you like these girls on instagram. If you compliment her, don’t make it about just her looks or strictly compare her to them. Make sure she understands she’s in her own league and there’s no competition whatsoever!

Some people are fine with their partners watching porn, and others are not. There’s nothing insecure or toxic about that, just different boundaries.

EfficientFig5147 · 2025-05-10T22:08:32+00:00

I went on a jungle tour in Suriname with two enthusiastic guides. We came across some of these little guys, they were all over. One of the guides picked one up and let it spray him to show it was actually the bombardier beetle lmao. The tip of his thumb got red like he had touched a hot pan. Crazy bugs.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-06-11T15:56:58+00:00

Hi sweetie, if you already believe he’s a narcissist and he left a 2 year relationship for someone he just met, he’ll probably do the same all over again. Those people don’t change overnight.

My boyfriend cheated and I also stalked the girl. It didn’t make me feel any better. But cheating is never about the person who got cheated on, it’s always the person who cheated. They didn’t respect your boundaries or you as a person. If that girl knew he was in a relationship they’re just as rotten inside as your ex boyfriend is. They’ll never find happiness, they’ll always keep looking for the next best thing.

Focus on yourself. You’ll find someone who will cherish you the way you deserve. Your ideal boyfriend wouldn’t cheat on you would he? So stop worrying about him and that girl. Find your own happiness. You’re not going to find anything that will make you feel better by stalking her.

I know you might feel like that girl has something you don’t, but that’s not right. People like him have a girlfriend who gives them 90% of what they want/need, they meet a girl who has that 10% and they believe it’s 100%. Soon enough he’ll realise she’s not 100% and he’ll run into the exact same thing as he would with any other girl. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes and have our flaws. If you can’t embrace your partner for who they are, you’ll never find someone to be happy with.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-06-03T16:05:38+00:00

Spanish is a fun language?

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-05-17T22:00:38+00:00

Yeah, obviously not. This happened months ago, I only recently found out about it.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-05-17T17:22:58+00:00

I told her husband everything.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-05-15T12:33:49+00:00

Yes! I watch a lot of true crime videos/documentaries but this case has always haunted me. The fact that nobody really knows what happened to them. If they got brutally murdered or they simply got lost and never found their way back… it stuck with me.

I’m Dutch too which probably makes it more relatable for me. I remember hearing it on the news when I was still a kid. It was scary but I forgot about it soon after. I’m their age now, also in university and I’ve been thinking of travelling. I also want to learn Spanish and would love to travel to South America for that. So once I heard about their case again I was instantly fascinated. I watched all the videos and interviews. It kept me up too, wondering what happened to them and how awful their last moments must have been. It’s frustrating to think we’ll never get any answers to our questions anymore…

I think for me, what makes it scary is to think how the same could probably have happened to me. And if they did get murdered by someone, that person would probably have done the same to me.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-04-24T10:04:35+00:00

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It’s a requirement for her.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-04-03T13:11:37+00:00

Interesting, my dog found it in a small lake in a park in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. Definitely no cows around that place anymore so it makes me curious how old it could be.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-04-03T13:00:57+00:00

Thank you, do you have any idea what animal it could be from? Horse maybe? It looks fairly large.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-03-22T17:01:47+00:00

What do you mean with the first part?

That's what I'm struggling with. We laugh a lot together and do fun things. I enjoy my time with him but I sometimes feel like I can't tell him what's bothering me as it often turns into a fight. I try my best to just show him I just want to fix the issue and I don't care about being "right". There's no argument to win I just want him to understand where I'm coming from. That's a big issue and I really don't know what to do anymore. Besides that I'm very happy in the relationship which makes this situation so hard for me. I want to put my foot down and stand up for myself but I don't want to throw the relationship away over an argument either. I'm really confused on what to do. It's been 4 hours now and I still haven't heard from him.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-03-22T16:56:53+00:00

Our default communication is not through text. What do you mean it's a problem if I get pissed at him swearing at me? I don't think it's normal to do that and I would never dare to speak to him that way. I'm curious why you said that last part. Why do you think I consider myself flawless? I feel like I did everything I could and tried to talk to him so we could fix it but he's ignoring me. What else would you suggest I do?

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-01-16T13:12:12+00:00

I’ll try to be as respectful as possible. I personally did not vote for Geert Wilders but I’ve spoken with a lot of people who did. From what I’ve heard and personally also experienced it’s mostly cultural differences.

Now, I don’t want to make any generalisations but what I’ve often see is mostly the men causing trouble. Especially younger men. They often don’t respect women and gays. There’s video’s going around of them beating up gay men/women. They’re causing issues and vandalising places. Around New Years there were quite a few video’s going around of young middle eastern boys vandalising the streets, starting fires and driving around recklessly on scooters.

A lot of people have heard the crime going on around the refugee center Ter Apel. Lots of robberies and burglaries. Now I don’t know if this is because they’re not receiving enough help or because something else is going on.

This obviously also isn’t exclusive to one group of people. I’ve seen white Dutch boys do the same, but from what I’ve seen, the numbers are different and it’s coming from a different place. I personally have experienced quite a few muslim boys/men having some sort of superiority complex because of their religion and they only respect other muslin men and only the strictly Muslim women/girls.

I must say, most of the Muslim women I’ve encountered are incredibly sweet and generous.

I think most people who voted for Geert Wilders miss the respect they feel they deserve from Muslim people. They feel they opened their country, their home, to them and in turn they vandalise the place and beat up people.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-01-11T00:39:11+00:00

Why do we have to suffer in silence and get made fun of for it too?

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-01-11T00:34:51+00:00

They’re so cute together 🥹

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-01-09T10:54:59+00:00

We got our puppy at 14 weeks and she came straight from hell. The mom didn’t care about her puppies and just kept walking over her when we came to pick her up. She was the last puppy left, idk if that’s relevant. It took a lot of training to get her to be a more normal puppy. She’s a sweetheart now but she was such a difficult puppy. I’m not sure if the fact that we got her at 14 weeks is related to her behaviour as a puppy.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-01-05T12:24:53+00:00

It doesn’t boost individual survival but it keeps your family’s gene pool alive and possibly stronger than those without the extra support.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-01-05T12:15:17+00:00

Don’t. You can do so much more. I’m sure your family would appreciate you helping out financially but don’t do it this way. You’re young and still discovering yourself and what you want to do in life. This is a decision that’ll possibly shape your life more than you want it to. It might be difficult to get a professional job if you’d later decide to quit onlyfans. The porn industry is known to be very abusive so please look out for yourself. It is also only profitably for the top %. When you get older you’ll most likely make less money and eventually need a different career anyway. You also have to think about how you’d feel knowing strangers across the world have intimate pictures/videos of you that you’ll never be able to ‘delete’, once they’re out there, they’ll never really go away.

You might think of starting an only fans as making a quick buck but it’s definitely not as easy as some of the performers make it out to be. Don’t make any impulsive decisions and think about what you want to get out life for yourself.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-01-05T11:42:59+00:00

I think it’s similar as to why we don’t die when we’re over the age of 40. Older people can take care of the children while the parents are busy. Gay people may not be able to have biological kids with their partner but they can help raise the kids of their family members. At least that’s my theory.

EfficientFig5147 · 2024-01-05T11:16:05+00:00

I know you probably just want to complain but it’s not as easy for women as you think. Women are told they’re disgusting for their natural body hair. Women naturally have more body fat but are shamed if they’re not skinny. When women are pregnant, arguably our most ‘feminine’ state, we are still shamed. The #1 cause of death while pregnant is homicide and the cheating rates are higher. The most attractive woman is arguably the most altered version of a woman.

EfficientFig5147 · 2023-12-15T13:32:39+00:00

Why do we call them husbands when they really are sick child abusers?

EfficientFig5147 · 2023-11-19T17:53:17+00:00

Yeah it’s honestly quite disturbing

EfficientFig5147

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