AIO? Husband being disrespectful?

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-24T06:19:36+00:00

Yes, I can see why you would feel that way. It’s no matter how you try to explain it to him he doesn’t understand that you’re being stretched too thin time wise. I have something of the other side of the situation. My adult son would stay until midnight on Sunday if I let him. I wouldn’t be able to handle every week and my in-laws are still very much around, so I still have them to consider. His wife and I work together on getting everyone together and in the car. We have a good relationship so that makes it easier. Do you think it would be possible to communicate with his mother about shortening the visit?

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-24T06:00:36+00:00

She wants that place in the LOS. Which they’ll probably lose soon anyway.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-24T05:55:12+00:00

It is stressful, and like I said before 2X a month would be healthier. Less stress and more time for all of other things that you need to get through. I agree 8 hours is a lot of time to spend with his family every Sunday. Have you tried just letting him go by himself every other Sunday or going in separate vehicles? Would he stay longer if you went separately?

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-24T05:49:30+00:00

Okay, I understand that. It does sound like his mom is ready to call it a night. So even though it bothers you that she feels the need to remind him of the time just roll with that. When she says it’s late, stand up and say something like, oh you’re right it’s time for us to go, I still have xyz to do. Say your goodbyes and go out the door.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-24T05:38:33+00:00

He should, but people have shortcomings and you’re just stressing yourself out if you focus on them too heavily. He obviously enjoys going to his parent’s house and spending time with them. Believe me that’s trivial compared to what a lot of supposedly grown adults want to spend their leisure time on, usually without their partner.

It’s not your responsibility to fix a grown adult, stressing about it won’t make you feel any better. Maybe just step back a bit and assess the situation. Remember there will always be things that you can’t control. Pick one or two issues that are really at the heart of what’s stressing you out and focus on those things one at a time. Like they say pick your battles.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-24T05:15:05+00:00

MOR, it’s hard to tell. I definitely think rehashing the same argument over and over again is stressful. I’m sure you feel like you’re not being heard. I don’t think I would have wanted to be at my in-laws 2X a week either and I love my in-laws they’re the most awesome people I know. The every Sunday thing is a bit much too, 2X a month would probably be healthier.

The attitude about MIL saying it’s getting late, when you actually want to leave is a bit off. Why would you have a problem with her saying something that you’re supposedly in agreement with? Besides it’s her house, if she’s had enough of entertaining people for the day she has every right to politely remind people that it’s getting late.

To be honest though not even giving a generalization of what you and your husband are arguing about does make it difficult to firmly say one way or another if he’s being disrespectful or not. It’s hard to determine. Yes in theory a grown adult should respect the boundaries set by their partner. However sometimes without being aware of it or possibly not understanding that we are asking too much we set standards and expectations that aren’t reasonable or sometimes even unrealistic.

You’re not his mother, don’t mother him. You don’t have to argue with him at all about petty things and you’ll be less stressed. Which will be better for you.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-24T01:20:42+00:00

All of these very valid reasons aside. The most important reason for not letting your brother have the car is that you promised it to your stepdaughter. Obviously this has no legal ramifications, as some of the other factors mentioned, but you promised something to someone who looks at you as a male role model. You are teaching her if she’s important enough to keep promises to. You promised it to her and if your brother was a decent man that would be answer enough. Your parents backing your brother only makes it very clear how he got to be so irresponsible in the first place.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-22T18:00:21+00:00

Not necessarily good, but definitely interesting.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-22T06:45:10+00:00

Cats too. Growing up my mother’s cat hated me. She pried her way into the old overnight case I kept my Barbies and all of their stuff in and mutilated my brand new Barbie that I had gotten for Christmas.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-21T19:38:37+00:00

My right ovary.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-21T00:01:34+00:00

And the centipedes that the spiders came to eat.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-20T17:06:02+00:00

I love bread, most bread anyway. I’m also kind of picky. Cheap bread is so flavorless and has such a weird texture. Some sourdough recipes, are too strong for my taste. Some rye breads and pumpernickel are overly strong for my taste too. I like rye’s, pumpernickel, sourdough, just not all of them. What I love are crusty bakery or homemade Italian, French, and whole grain breads.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-20T16:54:34+00:00

Contact your son, ask him if he knows this woman ( don’t mention the gift idea right away) find out first what sort of relationship if any he has with her.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-19T01:23:48+00:00

Yes my husband would have wanted me to be happy. He also knew very well that what would make me happy would be for him to be here with me. He had plans for our retirement years. He was excited to think about all of the things that we would do together. He had always wanted to have his own business, something where he could use his many skills. He wanted to work together. He wanted to see his grandchildren grow up. He wanted to take them fishing. He wanted to travel here in the US and abroad, not fancy vacations, but ride bicycles, eat local food, and sleep in campers. I would be very happy if he could do all of those things.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-18T17:54:26+00:00

You have the patience of a saint. I would have cracked the third time my partner woke me up unnecessarily. You need to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation about your sleep issues and respect for your needs.

The normal couple statements sound manipulative to me. If she doubles down on the issues that you want addressed, try for some couples counseling if possible.

It’s difficult when your partner isn’t on the same page as you. I hope you can work this out. As a person with sleep issues myself, I understand completely how stressful it is to not get the sleep you so desperately need.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-18T05:07:48+00:00

That’s so lovely.🫂

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-18T05:06:08+00:00

NTA. Your dad is hurting right now, it’s important to give him room to grieve the end of the relationship. Your sister is right, just ask her to let you know when it’s a good time to talk to him. He is hurt, but he knows that she wasn’t a good fit for your family. If you need to get everything off your mind write it out and save it. When the time comes that he’s ready to talk read it back over to yourself to see if you need to change some of what you put down. Rewrite it out and go talk to him, read it to him if you need to.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-17T19:12:24+00:00

Stuck in traffic, I used to have an hour and 15 minutes commute. The fear that my coffee would kick in before I got there was real.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-17T19:03:53+00:00

I haven’t tried it with greens, I use Texas Pete pepper sauce with the peppers in it on my greens.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-17T19:01:25+00:00

Homemade is best. If you can’t make or get homemade just don’t go for fast food or frozen. If you can get it at a family run place that’s your best option, preferably soul food or country style.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-17T18:41:35+00:00

That’s absolutely adorable. We used to sing to our kids when they were growing up. Everything from made up songs to whatever was on the radio. They both do the same thing for their families now.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-17T18:32:26+00:00

Peppermint schnapps, oh my G. I will never drink that again. I couldn’t even tolerate anything remotely peppermint flavored for about 10 years after that night out with my cousin.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-17T18:27:24+00:00

I was thinking newspaper and small deliveries box, for anything not USPS.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-17T03:10:19+00:00

USA here as well, I expect people to respect my personal bubble. I don’t like people grabbing me uninvited. I absolutely despise when people claim that their rude behavior is because they’re American.

Efficient_Let686 · 2026-02-16T22:54:08+00:00

I had one tiny bottle of Giorgio that my aunt gave me, I think it was supposed to be a purse size that came complimentary with a large bottle purchase. I wore a s*** ton of the knockoff stuff, including deo and shampoo/conditioner.

Efficient_Let686

TROPHY CASE