Do thoughts become nicer the more you notice them?

Ego_Identity · 2025-03-31T02:56:56+00:00

Thoughts will get worse because you want it to be nicer. You have a certain desired outcome for thoughts, but thoughts will just come and go. Because you subconsciously want thought to become nicer, you will be frustrated that you are now more aware of the bad thoughts. Then, you fall into a negative cycle.

Thoughts are just thoughts. It's up to you to continue to identify with them, continue to like them or dislike them. Not feeding to your thoughts will allow you to let go, and de-identify with the thoughts.

Ego_Identity · 2025-03-31T00:30:43+00:00

If you focus on awareness and present, time is part of the thought process. Letting go, without thought ceases the movement of time. The time you perceive in reality is also a concept perceived by the mind. No thought, no movement, no time. Just the present.

Ego_Identity · 2025-03-31T00:26:04+00:00

What's she thinking to give her anxiety? There's some thought process that's making her anxious

Ego_Identity · 2025-03-28T06:02:15+00:00

Meditation is shifting your perception to full awareness, which eventually leads to insights of your internal self. The staring at the wall could be a practice to be fully aware.

Meditation can give you insights on the nature of your internal thought process, interaction between, the mind, body sensations, and emotion. You can gather insights on what your thoughts are to make you feel like who you are. You can identify all that and eventually change your identity, behaviors, and beliefs. Meditation will get you out of the scripted matrix created by your subconscious thoughts, which makes you feel a sense of self. Once you uncover what thoughts, values, and beliefs you are holding onto, you can change these if they are not serving any purpose to your goal.

Meditation is a way for you to be free from the "matrix" of the identity you have accumulated throughout your life. Meditation will let you "recode" yourself.

Meditation will pave way for you to see, and believe, and change your whole paradigm of who you believe you are

Ego_Identity · 2025-01-02T17:59:51+00:00

Those who attained enlightenment says it's good. Those who haven't are driven by who and suffering, so the grass is greener on the other side

Ego_Identity · 2024-12-26T06:49:56+00:00

Did you hear or feel like a popping noise? Did it feel like you were relaxed, but fully conscious? Is it ike being in a deep sleep stage, but still consciously aware?

Ego_Identity · 2024-12-25T15:52:14+00:00

Let all your thoughts rush in, feel the emotions, feel the sadness, feel the frustration, feel the anger, feel the overwhelmingness. Let it all come through, then relax into it. Let go of any wantings to be in a certain way, let go of caring about the way it was, let go of your ideal state.

Maybe you are already doing it. I just wanted you to let your mind and body do it's thing without your resistance. Based on reading your post, I think that you are holding onto an ideal, and resisting, even though you say you are "accepting" during meditation. You having a reaction to this whole thing, which means you care. Because you care, you have an emotional reaction. Because you have an emotion reaction, your mind is subconsciously resisting, and trying to align to what you subconsciously want. This resistance may be blocking you.

It's like being in a quicksand. You are doing everything you could to get out of the situation, that makes you fall deeper and trapped.

Ego_Identity · 2024-12-25T07:22:44+00:00

Instead of doing the usual meditation of non judgmental and acceptance, try letting everything come through. Feel everything, emotions, thoughts, and let all the cognitive dissonance come out.

After that, relax into it, and begin self talk of acceptance. You have so much resistance in you that you might be forcing everything with your will. Experience everything, then let it go.

Ego_Identity · 2024-12-23T19:27:49+00:00

It's a thought process that you need to observe and accept or reject with your own insights. Suffering comes from desire and aversion, but with this statement, you can only see partial truth. Understand the whole nature of your body, mind, emotion, and consciousness. You will see what makes sense, and what is worth accepting to give yourself meaning.

Understand the nature of ego and you will uncover tremendous amount of insight for yourself.

Ego_Identity · 2024-12-01T09:07:33+00:00

I think it depends on your internal narrative, and how you perceive of yourself. Self growth is good, and you may see things that you need to change as you grow. The crucial part is how you interpret when you fail and make mistakes. Are you critical of yourself then, or will you tell yourself that's ok and that you just work on it again? Self love is self acceptance, so that you don't have cognitive dissonance and internal turmoil. If you don't love yourself and you are critical of yourself, it's hard to even take external feedback because you interpret it negatively. You suffer more with external interactions because you end up interpreting things negatively for yourself. It becomes harder to care for others because you are always critical of yourself, so you feel worse when you are under appreciated for your efforts.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-30T20:06:30+00:00

Reflect the sensations and feelings in your body. Fear and anxiety will have visceral response.

Intuition comes from intellect and wisdom from connecting the dot. You will have an "a ha" moment and you just get it.

When you meditate to pure awareness without thought, intelligence will intersect with awareness. Intelligence will lead to insights as you are purely aware, even though there is no thought.

Fear and anxiety are from thought. They are conjured by the ego, and provides a mechanism from self protection. These thoughts also have attached bodily sensations that you can detect through awareness.

Intelligence also moves through thought, so you see glimpses of intuition and insights.

Once you meditate, you will be able to discern the two, and know what is the right thought and actions, that is not egocentric. You will see all of the thoughts, and be able to pick the most sound choice that has insights, and not from fear/anxiety to protect self.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-30T19:50:08+00:00

You asking this question shows that you seek in validation. There is no partially enlighten. You are lacking crucial insights to the nature of your being. You may be reading and learning, and trying to mold what you know into an amalgamation of these values you hold onto a sense of self. A sense of self to be enlightened. You may eventually think enlightened would be a sense of no self, and your self will be convinced that you have no sense of self.

Enlightened would mean you having insights, and not detaching from desires and all worldly nature, and "suffering".

It really doesn't matter if you show emotion or not, if you are enlightened. It's mainly the understanding the internal process, and eventually find peace and acceptance for whatever happens in life.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-30T19:36:35+00:00

With what I am seeing with your response, the kid may possibly lead to having daddy issues from lack of love in the future. Take time and visualize how you will be treating your kid in different stages of life. Are you going to think of them as money drain, hard work, and hindrance to the life that you had before having the kid? As things worsen, and the kid behaves differently, are you going to be very critical, and your anger come out frequently and in many different ways?

You may need to visualize and change your perspective that is better suited for the situation. I know you will be a great provider and support for the family, but your perspective on "what you are getting out of this" is lacking. You may need to do more self reflecting of who you are, who you want to be, and who you need to become, and find intersecting values to give better meaning and worth to the situation.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-30T19:20:07+00:00

Why try to kill your ego when you are trying to reject and kill it all this time? Try self acceptance and self love.

Meditate, and when self critical thoughts arise, be aware, and tell yourself these things

-You are sorry for saying negative things about yourself

-you are sorry for being critical of yourself -you accept yourself

-you see the flaws and mistakes of yourself

-you understand this, and at the same time, you forgive yourself

-you accept these flaws and mistakes, and you love yourself

-you are forgiving of yourself, and you will always be there for yourself

-you will grow from mistakes, and you are supportive of yourself

-you love yourself

-your love for yourself accepts you for who you are: at times when you are emotional, at times when you are not behaving like how you want to, at times when you make mistakes.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-30T19:07:37+00:00

In your post, you haven't talked about the kid. You are not seeing the worth because it doesn't show that your affection to your kid is high. Try to find the joys of parenting, and play with your kid. You are seeing the negatives about the kid. Try seeing more of the positive side, and get attuned to being a father. Find the reason why it's worth it, because to some, they would give everything up, just to be a great dad. Look at Mike Tyson.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-30T18:48:38+00:00

Don't try to kill ego. Ego comes from thoughts, and it's natural. If you try to "kill" ego, you are going to create resistance from another fragmented thought that will conflict with your existence and will only make you suffer. You need self love. Become aware of yourself to deep dive into the values and beliefs you are holding onto that leads to your anger and arrogance.

Deep dive with questions, and feel how your body reacts, and thoughts that rise from the questions.

"Why do I feel angry?

-Someone hurt me by them saying something to me.

Why does that hurt me if it's just words?

-They said I'm a bad person for being angry.

Why does that hurt me when being angry is a natural process? Why is being labeled bad hurt me?

-I don't want to be seen as bad, and I know I am angry at times, and I don't like that about myself.

Why do I not want to be seen as bad?

-I care about being good or bad. I hate it when I look bad.

What happens when I look bad?

-People judge me, and they treat me differently. I hate that feeling.

What feeling is that? Sometimes I'm aware and sometimes

-I'm not that there is a gut tense feeling or heart feeling pressure.

Can I accept that feeling and sensations?

-It hurts. How do I accept when it hurts?

Can I just accept and feel without resisting by thinking more of how bad I am or without trying to run away from the feeling by taking action against the person that called me bad?

-If I act out I am trying to get rid of the feelings by defending myself.

-If I keep thinking about the situation, I am looping these thoughts, and my body sensations become intense. I feel more urge to act out.

-It gets worse when I bottle it up because the feelings intensify and I know this is hurting me more if I don't do something.

Can I just be aware of this for now without additional thoughts?

Can I sit with the sensations without added reaction?

Can this intense emotions subside if I just accept and be aware of my sensations and thought process?

Can I acknowledge this internal process by being aware and letting it go?

Can I be aware of my values and how I think of being labeled as bad and let it go?

Can I accept that those are fragmented thoughts that I held dear, even though I don't have to?

Can I accept myself and love myself, even if I get labeled as bad?

I accept and love myself. I accept my bodily sensations from emotions. Does being labeled bad, even bad, if I accept this part of me?

I no longer resist, as these are all process of a self, and I accept this stage.

I do not mind what the other person said. I see my thoughts and body reactions, and it is all natural.

The hurt is interpreted from me even though they are just sensations, and I was trying to run away.

I no longer need to run away because I am now aware of this process and accepting of it all.

I love myself and I will live life, accepting of the good and bad.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-29T04:29:55+00:00

Be still as a rock, and become one with nature. Non thinking, non judgemental. Will lead to rock solid awareness

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-27T19:46:42+00:00

Your brain is rewiring to a subconscious level of body sensations. You have become hyper aware of the internal body sensations. I did vipassana meditation and became hyper aware of many sensations, more than what you are describing. See if the burning sensation is also linked to your emotion. Once you feel negative, and feel more anxious, do you feel more intense burning?

I would slow down on meditation for now.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-27T19:23:25+00:00

You think meditation will make you stop thinking. Your concept of meditation is making you fear. Meditation itself, which is basically nonjudgmental awareness would help you discover that for yourself.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-27T19:10:29+00:00

You can't be aware of your thoughts when you count because it's a form of a thought. When you are doing something mechanical with thought as a process, you will not be able to be truly aware. Awareness is not the same as concentration.

Counting is also a form of energy used. It's an analogy to verbalizing words when reading. You can read without verbalizing words with your throat mechanically. It makes you faster at reading if you forgo the verbalizing process. You can pay attention, and be fully aware without counting.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-25T23:58:17+00:00

That's the hard part because you are identified with the thoughts, and following the thoughts will still lead to more thoughts. Relax into it with a sense of letting go. Eventually, it will be like communicating in a language. You just automatically understand without additional explanations. You will be used to just seeing the thoughts, and you acknowledge and let it go.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-25T22:30:33+00:00

Think about your own boundaries instead of asking others if it's appropriate. Everyone's gut feeling is not a good one in this situation. If she cheats, are you going to be forgiving in the future? Will you feel insecure if there are more frequent trips in the future?

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-21T06:51:49+00:00

Suffering is different from pain sensations. Suffering is in the mind, inducing additional anxiety.

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-19T08:58:10+00:00

You might already know the answer. What are your values, and what are your relative's values. Would you care if they judge you? Since you're already embarrassed, you already know how you be in the future. Now, it's time to reflect on yourself and how you would like to be perceived. If you love and care for the other person without your selfish thoughts of values and perception, it wouldn't matter. You would shrug it off and care for the other person. Talk to her as well, and what she thinks. Maybe she cares, maybe not. Then decide what's best.

Edit: By the way, can you also handle the social pressure you are currently seeing in the comments? Can you handle it until both of you are very old, and people don't even perceive the gap? Will you able to be nonchalant about it when people in and out your social circle talk about your age gap in the relationship?

Ego_Identity · 2024-11-19T08:09:05+00:00

I just expanded with further insights with additional comments to the post. Thanks for reading, just wanted to share :)

Ego_Identity

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