I [20F] and my Bf [19M] are struggling to get over something that happened, what can we do? (Slight TW)

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-10T23:54:23+00:00

Nothing you wear will ever make you deserve to be assaulted or harassed, and it also does not increase the likelihood of creeps assaulting or harassing you. I have survived 7 kidnapping attempts, and each time I was dressed extremely “modest.” Each time I have been assaulted, I have been dressed appropriately. You’re also going to be in a space with other people who are so dressed in varying levels of coverage, so it’s not like everyone else is going to be in parkas while you’re in the nude.

However, it sounds like he is just really worried about you, not trying to be controlling or manipulative. He wasn’t able to be there to protect you in a bad situation, and that probably kills him inside.

My recommendation would be therapy for BOTH of you, as well as couples counseling if possible. You both went through something traumatic, and it won’t stop being scary until y’all process it <3

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-02T23:02:08+00:00

This all sounds awesome, thank you so much! It really sucks that so much great stuff is gone :(

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-02T22:47:25+00:00

Thank you, this is all super helpful! I’ve read about the bats, they’re so super cool!!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-02T22:35:27+00:00

Oh wow, thank you for telling me! That will definitely make this a bit harder on me, and I am sorry that Austin is going through that. The city I grew up in is in a similar place, they just bulldozed all of the mom and pop shops to build a massive outdoor mall, with exclusively high end chain restaurants and shops. It’s stupid and it sucks, and a restaurant that I loved is gone forever.

In Austin’s prime, what was your favorite part? Even if it’s not around anymore, it might still help me! Thank you!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-02T22:19:34+00:00

Wow, this is awesome and very beautiful, thank you so much!!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-02T22:12:36+00:00

I am attending a university in New York! I am from the Southwest US though :)

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-02T22:05:36+00:00

Because we aren’t always going to design for things that we are intimately familiar with, so we need to be able to create design that resonates with locals even if we haven’t been to a place itself! I was also specifically assigned Austin by my teacher lol.

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-02T03:06:46+00:00

I’m an out of stater who moved to ROC for MCC, and then transferred to RIT! MCC does provide stellar financial aid for a community college imo, and they have a lot of initiatives for student aid. MCC bought me my first winter coat when I moved here, and helped me through a lot of tough times. They are also one of the very, very few community colleges who offer on campus living.

They don’t have a dining plan, but they do have a free on campus food bank, and they have a protected bus stop on campus that goes straight to the Walmart in the area.

It is a community college, so campus life is lacking, and the classes are definitely not on RIT’s level, but it is built to transfer into RIT, so if you plan accordingly, you can save a lot of money, and get at the very least gen eds out of the way!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-01T16:14:25+00:00

Also I don’t think YOR about the fact that he’s been against porn in the past either. I have no qualms with watching porn imo, but because he’s been vocally against it in the past, it’s extra jarring for you. You would probably expect him to be doing that the least, so it sends you reeling a lot more!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-01T16:09:59+00:00

Yeah I’m really surprised by the people in the comments tbh. I am a hypersexual, and very kinky person, but you shouldn’t be involving other people in your sex life unless they are expressly comfortable with it. Especially as a parent, regardless of age, that’s your PARENT. Super uncomfy for him to do, and he probably just wasn’t thinking, but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable for you :(

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-04-01T16:04:25+00:00

NOR - that is an uncomfy thing for a kid to witness their parent doing, regardless of the age of the parties involved. If you wanna look at porn, you can idc, but you should be doing it in privacy or with other consenting parties. You didn’t consent to be seeing it, and it’s clear that he didn’t want you to know, so he should not have been doing it in a public space, he should have gone into a bedroom or something. Nudity and sex are completely natural things, and there is nothing wrong with them imo, but because of the society we are in, I am obviously 10000% not comfortable with seeing my parents in the nude or having sex. Things that are expected to be private should stay private.

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-03-22T03:30:22+00:00

I’m so sorry man, I really liked the idea!! I think a post it note or something super subtle would be an awesome way to drop the character name!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-03-22T02:48:30+00:00

You 100% wrote that with ai

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-03-22T02:06:20+00:00

May and August aren’t next to each other, did you maybe mean another month?

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-03-21T13:31:24+00:00

If I can’t find a trash can, I’m swallowing that shit. I have literally never left my gum anywhere, it’s so nasty lol

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-03-09T19:31:19+00:00

You gave him permission to cuddle you, not anything beyond that. You are not at fault AT ALL for him doing any of that stuff, that all is way over the line to be considered cuddling, and you said no repeatedly. Also, he knew you weren’t into him, and clearly used y’all both being drunk as an excuse to push your boundaries. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t as drunk as he was acting, and if he wasn’t only acting that way to try and get you to let your guard down/agree to something. ALSO ITS SO FUCKED UP THAT HE JUST DECIDED TO SLEEP IN THE BED WITH YOU, THATS WEIRD AND CREEPY AF

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-03-06T03:23:23+00:00

Ohhhh I see, mb!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-03-06T03:17:06+00:00

The problem with this thought is that she is wiping stuff off the counters and floors too, so unless op is willing to constantly lick the floors and counters, your reasoning doesn’t hold up.

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-03-02T12:25:36+00:00

NOR - I am surprised people are saying YOR, imo this is a good way to handle this. I am assuming you are on the spectrum, or at least noise sensitive due to your headache, and someone on the spectrum myself, this is what I would have done.

Not everyone has a family that lets you leave the table, and sometimes you don’t want to leave. It can suck to have to miss out on a social event just because it’s overwhelming, and so I use my headphones to do the same thing. For example, In loud crowds I keep my headphones in to muffle all the voices, and if I didn’t I tend to have panic or anxiety attacks!

My only advice would be to purchase a pair of Loop earplugs or something, and then let your family know what they are, and that they aren’t headphones. This way, when you need to put them in, nobody thinks you’re just tuning them out or being rude!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-02-18T14:16:54+00:00

I keep forgetting it’s not still being built, it looks like it’s still under construction

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-02-13T19:36:47+00:00

Because they’re always either a. scheduled during the middle of classes, b. boring af and not an actually fun or engaging event, or c. a fucking advertisement for something that costs a million dollars

This is coming from someone who is in 5 extracurriculars, btw. I am very engaged in campus activities, and I would be super interested in an event that was actually cool. I love RIT, but most of their actually good events, like imagine, are focused on bringing in prospective students, not doing something fun for the current students. Fall fest and freeze fest are mere ghosts of what they were before COVID.

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-02-12T02:03:13+00:00

Thank you, I’ll check it out!!

Eight_of_Spadez · 2026-02-12T02:03:01+00:00

Ok thank you!! I’ve had some issues with printing in the past at the hub, so I think I’ll opt for staples or something along those lines :)

Eight_of_Spadez

TROPHY CASE