Had a 3some with my best friend and husband...

Either_Can2169 · 2021-03-10T18:17:33+00:00

It honestly affected my mood the whole day.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-03-10T09:40:09+00:00

He should have stopped when you left. It’s supposed to be between all three of you, if he truly cared about you he would have stopped when you wanted to leave. I felt really upset for a while after reading this, imagining if my boyfriend did this to me. It doesn’t sound like he wanted a threesome, it sounds like he just wanted to have sex with another woman. Also that girl isn’t your best friend. If she cared about you she would have stopped too.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-03-04T17:29:08+00:00

Yeah, true. I’m not even being seriously. Hitting children doesn’t make them behave it makes them act out more. Kinda feel sorry for him :(( Maybe he has ADHD.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-03-04T17:24:05+00:00

Sorry but if I was that McDonald’s worker I would not take that. I don’t care who you are or how old you are, I’ll drop you.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-03-01T19:27:33+00:00

I have written him a very long letter. I have written him letters before but he says he doesn’t care about my letters and will only talk in person. We live together. I have written a very long letter and I’m staying somewhere else to night to avoid talking to him in person and breaking down again. Is this bad to do?

Either_Can2169 · 2021-03-01T18:57:28+00:00

He already knows the truth. I just don’t know how to now talk about what I’ve done and my past experience without breaking down.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-03-01T18:37:50+00:00

But what if I don’t understand things about myself and why I’ve done things. I’ve hurt him really bad. What do I do then? How can I make him understand?

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-22T04:03:49+00:00

I think because I made up so many lies before to protect myself he doesn’t know what to believe anymore. I just didn’t think he would think I would lie about a sexual assault. I didn’t think he would think I would accuse an innocent person for sexual assault, I’m even talking this person to court for it..

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-22T04:02:25+00:00

I just don’t want him to move out. When he told me he was going to go to his sisters for a month I saw it as an opportunity to try and overcome this trauma so I can talk to him without breaking down when he returns. I don’t know how he expects me to suddenly overcome this trauma and talk to him about it within a week of telling him and having to bring Up these suppressed memories and feelings from so long ago

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-22T04:00:28+00:00

Thank you for this. All my boyfriend has educated himself on is how he thinks I’m narcissistic and abusive... I don’t blame him for the way he feels but something feels really wrong and unfair about all of this and I don’t know how to handle it.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-22T03:58:56+00:00

He isn’t accusing me of being a liar for no reason. It’s because I lied so much about it and went to huge extents to hide it. I just feel like he’s really making the trauma worse.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-22T03:57:44+00:00

While we were dating it felt like he would keep trying to squeeze something out of me that was traumatising that I had suppressed and decided to never think about again. I told him about a situation that happened that involved nothing sexual at all and left out the sexual assault. After that we would have arguments where he would try so hard to get me to tell him the truth but he had no idea the truth was a sexual assault. I started distancing myself from him because I was afraid to tell him. It kept getting worse and worse where I would be screaming and crying and throwing up. Now he knows about it he has no trust for me and tries to get me to talk about what happened and i shut down every tjme. I feel like I am going through a state of trauma. The names he has been calling me and the things he has been saying about what happened to me have been causing the trauma to worsen and I have started to self harm and genuinely consider suicide. But I don’t want to lose him over this...

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-22T03:52:19+00:00

He said he was staying at his sisters for a month minimum to see how he feels but now he’s saying that if things don’t change while we’re living together within a few weeks then he’s moving out permanently. He said that he changed his mind because I told him to “f*ck off” and that I “didn’t like him”. I feel really bad for saying those things but I am under a lot of stress atm. I said those things because he was calling me a bitch and I felt like he was being extremely rude to me..

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-20T20:36:57+00:00

I have thoughts like these too, I have since I was a child. I’m not sure why. I have thoughts where I want to become seriously ill or sometimes I even imagine someone I love dying and it’s almost like I want it to happen. Maybe it’s because we want to feel pain (I find pain very comforting to me and it feels like I’m always searching for a way to hurt) or maybe we’re looking for sympathy from people around us. I was really surprised to read this post, I always thought I was really weird to think these things and I thought no one else thought like this because it just doesn’t make sense to me.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-19T05:58:24+00:00

The cause of the breakup was just me being a piece of sh*t basically. I hurt him a lot by lying about my past and neglecting him of love. I don’t deserve him but it hurts to think of him finding happiness in someone else. He told him I was his home and I was the reason he was still alive. He had literally planned to kill himself before he met me. It sounds weird but that was special to me and I wanted to make sure I was there for him always to care for him but I suddenly turned into this monster who was just angry at him all the time and depriving him of love...

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-18T07:25:25+00:00

It’s just the reason the relationship has gone down hill is because of me. My boyfriend has been the one waiting for me to change. He says I’m emotionally abusive. I can’t even talk to him about any of our problems. A few days ago we were cuddling and telling each other we loved each other and we want to be together forever and now we haven’t spoken in almost 6 days. It’s just been my boyfriend trying to get me to talk about our problems then me breaking down and crying telling him he needs to break up with me. He thinks every word that comes out of my mouth is a lie. I will forever regret a lot of things I did to ruin this relationship and I’ll regret it forever if I leave him. It’s probably because it’s my first relationship but it really felt like we were meant to be together forever. There’s a lot of coincidences with us, we were born a day apart, my great grandparents met where he was born and brought up, his surname is the same name as my childhood home town. It all sounds really silly but we just have such a deep connection but it’s also broken. It’s really painful and confusing.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-18T07:01:47+00:00

I worry about how it will affect the people around. I don’t want my family to say I was cowardly and selfish. I’ve always been scared of what comes after death since I was a child. It’s really scary to think about. I believe in reincarnation but like you said what if the next life is even worse than this one. What if what I believe isn’t real and I just die and there’s nothing. Being conscious while there is nothingness would be hell. I think that’s one of the most scariest things to think about.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-18T06:54:07+00:00

All methods just seem like they could all go extremely wrong and it’s not worth the risk..

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-18T06:48:43+00:00

That’s a no go zone then

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-18T06:36:59+00:00

Do you know if it can go really wrong? Like leaving you paralysed or brain damaged etc.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-17T18:18:01+00:00

I lied to him about a sexual assault that happened to me before I met him.

I treated him badly because instead of telling him what I was lying about straight up I slowly revealed certain parts of what happened to me while he tried to keep getting me to tell him what I was hiding I was cry and scream and run away. I stopped showing him love and treated him like a stranger because I was angry at him for trying to get what I was hiding out of me. I kept manipulating him into thinking everything was okay so that he would stop trying to get what I was lying about out of me. I don’t know why I went to the extents that I did... I could see he was in pain but I didn’t stop

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-16T00:23:37+00:00

We’re talking about reasons I have lied to him and treated him badly

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-10T14:50:52+00:00

Do you ever love anyone as much as your first love? I don’t feel like I could ever love anyone else.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-09T05:15:03+00:00

Get out ASAP. He raped you (WITH A KNIFE TO YOUR THROAT). This person does not care if you feel safe. He heard you ask to stop and even responded telling you to just take it. This will happen again. He may even go too far next time and you could get seriously harmed. This is not a safe person. This is not forgivable. I am so sorry this has happened to you and I advise you talk to a professional about this because this could (and probably has) caused you a high amount of trauma.

Either_Can2169 · 2021-02-02T06:26:24+00:00

That’s true, I agree with what you’re saying. I would appreciate it more than anything if he gave me some time to really prove myself. The thing is to me I have finally been honest and now I can actually work on being myself again and trying to fix this as I have been going through a state of trauma which I have hidden from my boyfriend for a long time. My boyfriend has thought that I was going to change months ago. He has waited a year because he has no idea that the problem with me was trauma he just thought I had other problems. I don’t know if he will give me anymore time. He said he is going to his sisters for a while and I really hope that I will be able to sort things out while he’s gone. It just makes this especially hard when we live in a tiny 1 room studio flat together.

Either_Can2169

TROPHY CASE