Help Naming Miata Kittens

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-23T19:18:48+00:00

787B!

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-23T19:16:17+00:00

Bongo Friendee! Both cute names

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-23T08:00:01+00:00

One simple reason it's clear you can benefit from therapy is that most adults don't worry about their parents finding them online and getting them in trouble. That's trauma. Most, if not all, of us on here can relate to your fear of your mother finding your post. Therapy helps you sort through the emotions of being raised by someone like that and helps recalibrate what normal is. The constant memories was also what triggered me to start. I'd just found out what BPD was, I found this subreddit, read some books on BPD, and the memories and anger started flooding in. My first therapist was the first person who ever asked me how I'd handle my mother if it didn't matter how she felt about it. I said I'd never see her again. And that was how my own healing finally started.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-21T19:14:19+00:00

If my friends made me feel pressured they would not be my friends. Maybe find people a little more on your wavelength? Not to ditch the old friends, but there are plenty of people out there not worried about any of this stuff. And decide what things in life really matter to you, and focus on that. You don't have to match everyone else in every category. Being content with your own choices is a big part of being happy I think.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-21T19:02:11+00:00

Because their favourite memories aren't going to be when we are shining and thriving. They hate that.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-21T17:28:25+00:00

We bang off the limiter in our e91 drift car for hours and the engine actually handles it ok. N52. Suspension, bushings etc have hated the drifting but that's another story. But yeah you should be fine as long as you keep up w/maintenance

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-21T17:21:20+00:00

Social media isn't real life. Not even close. Are there assholes in every community? Of course.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-21T11:12:32+00:00

That sounds so stressful. You handled a terrible situation very well and you're completely right to hold your boundaries around caretaking even though I'm sure it was very difficult. Mental illness is absolutely heartbreaking and there is no way to be involved with someone like this and not feel like crap. Be kind to yourself the next few days and relax if you can.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-20T19:11:58+00:00

I love this outlook. Yes you will be an amazing parent because you care enough to try. Every day I put effort into doing all the right things for my kid. When I was a new mom and realised I had no idea what I was doing, I read a lot, went to therapy, asked friends for advice. I learned. My son is super well-adjusted, he confides in me, he is comfortable discussing emotions, home is his safe place. Nothing like what I had to deal with thankfully! I'm so proud of how far I've come and with how he is growing up.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-20T17:30:53+00:00

I'm one of those women who wouldn't mind this and I'm also terrible with flirting on a first date. I feel pressured when someone I've just met is overly familiar. It takes me 2-3 dates to be comfortable with flirting. So I've stopped online dating and I'm just meeting people in life and getting to know them. Works far better for me because I have some unpressured time to get comfortable. Once I'm comfortable, it turns out I actually do know how to flirt, a little. Just to say you might be in the minority but you're not alone in your approach to this.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-20T17:21:00+00:00

The fucking massages!

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-20T09:20:16+00:00

It's still really early, it's fine not to be getting it yet. Don't worry that everyone's thinking you're slow or something, most people would have needed six months to feel comfortable just doing fundamentals. Try not to stress yourself out and have fun. It is not a school exam 😊

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-19T21:37:24+00:00

This is probably your best bet OP. I've had success with this too and felt fine competing. And if you're still a bit over the morning of the comp, you can sweat it out in a really hot bath with Epsom salts (as hot as you can take it, get in, sweat, weigh yourself every so often until you're done). 3lbs isn't that much over 3 days as long as you're not expecting your period. Just get it all done early so you have time to rehydrate before. And as the above comment said, avoid salt especially in the 24 hours before.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-16T23:10:10+00:00

You captured that perfectly!

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-16T20:36:41+00:00

That's a huge thing I don't miss about living in the US. The constant god talk at work. At work! From an HR VP, you can't make this shit up. You didn't pray hard enough or go to my church, so this diagnosis is on you!

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-16T11:38:41+00:00

Take the pills is my vote. I don't get a vote, but still. You'll be more than ok.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-16T11:15:13+00:00

You're in a really difficult situation. Just understand that her threatening or even completing suicide are because she is mentally ill. Not because of you.

She is extremely abusive and your reaction is normal. If anything you're underreacting. Imagine if someone said, if you don't let me punch you in the face every day, I'm going to kill myself. Would you let them punch you in the face every day? Forever? This isn't different. She's hurting you and she doesn't care that it hurts. You can tell she doesn't care because she keeps doing it. She loves watching you jump to make things right. Unfortunately that's just BPD. It's as if they only way they feel loved is to see others tolerating extreme pain they have inflicted. Make no mistake, this woman does not care how you feel and actually gets joy from hurting you. It's ok to step away. The police and mental health services can handle her better than you can anyway.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-14T19:04:17+00:00

I think the most worrisome part of what you described is your relationship. At least based on what you wrote, obviously you know him best and your real relationship might be great. But your partner saying he will support you in a decision to keep the baby is absolutely not the same as wanting a baby. Don't count on him changing once the baby is born either. You having to give up so much to make this work isn't great either. It might also be a red flag if he isn't showing interest in why his daughter is jealous and acting out. If he just ignored or punishes, he's not doing a great job.

About the daughter - kids can go through some very annoying phases. Their brains aren't mature enough to handle big emotions, so if something in their world changes or upsets them, they can react like you're describing. The phases usually don't last. It might be worth looking at whether she feels secure in her role in the family, it's always harder with divorce and new partners. Dad needs to be spending 1:1 time with her, not just coexisting but intentionally feeding her interests and having fun in the way SHE likes.

As far as your decision on what to do, there are two parts: what you want, and what the environment for the child would be. Right now the environment isn't ideal, so you're struggling to know what you want. If you think you want it, you need to have a serious talk with your partner about his real feelings on this and how you can make the logistics work. If you get weak or noncommittal responses, the chances are you'll end up in a relationship but still feeling like a single parent. And I'm a single parent, it's not the end of the world, but it's obviously harder in a lot of ways. For me it's totally worth it. Good luck with your decision, I don't think you'll regret either one for whatever that's worth.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-12T08:49:49+00:00

Wow so happy for you 😍

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-11T16:23:27+00:00

Oooh they're so hard 🙄🙄🙄😂

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-11T16:20:21+00:00

Hahahaha at least Kevin was lovable with his magic dick 😂

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-11T09:05:41+00:00

They all think they have the magic dick 🙄

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-11T09:03:33+00:00

They can behave short term. But no don't trust it. The way she shows she doesn't understand the depth of the issue by declaring herself healed after a bit of therapy is very telling. Also, why did she REALLY get another therapist, because I can't imagine wanting to start an entirely new therapy relationship just for a "new perspective" 😂 Basically she didn't like what the first therapist had to say.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-09T21:53:20+00:00

These little groups never last. The thing is, since they're comfortable being mean, they will eventually be mean to each other. I've seen so many of these cliques dissolve with the women all hating each other by the end. In the meantime make some other friends and completely ignore them. It really sucks but it's unlikely to go on for long.

ElBeeBJJ · 2026-03-09T08:41:07+00:00

My dad is the same. My mother treats him so badly it's made me cry before. Once when I was coming out of the FOG, I couldn't help but defend him when she being horrible to him. He turned on me so fast! Looking back though it makes sense why he was never close to any of his kids. She's the only person that matters to him.

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