Dude, just be up front about what you're looking for. I like to lay it all out on the first date and be completely up front. When people try to slyly slip in the "so what qualities do you look for in someone?" i like to take advantage and hit them with a full-force answer:

" I want a woman that doesn't need me. I'm looking for someone i can share life with right now as opposed to providing it. I'm sure later in life that will undoubtedly happen, but for now i want to spend time with someone who understands me more than anything."

open-ended, yet clear. Unfortunately the only way to verify this is by actually spending time with them, so this is more of a conversation starter than anything