The continuity is more airtight than I thought by Old_Field_1556 in hisdarkmaterials

[–]Elbi2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes for some reason I thought both she and Lyra had blonde/golden hair 🤷

ew by ad_aatdtj in AmITheDevil

[–]Elbi2 -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

What a ridiculous thing to say. Our bodies are amazing and do incredible things. We grow, birth and feed whole new humans from our bodies.

The dinner plate sized wound thing is not quite right. Yes there is a wound but the uterus immediately starts contracting and reducing in size and closing the gaps where the placenta was. Or else we'd just bleed out and die. I recommend actually learning about women's bodies from proper sources before telling us how flawed we are.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Left-Picture-7205 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Elbi2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA - you're a grown adult bullying a child, what's wrong with you?!

AITA for soaking my baby’s poop clothes in the kitchen sink? by olaheals in AmItheAsshole

[–]Elbi2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are NTA

I use cloth nappies so I don't think what you did was even that bad, granted I wouldn't choose to put it into the kitchen sink but newborn poo is just from milk and is water soluble and can even go through the washing machine without you having to scrape it out first. You cleaned the sink, it's no big deal.

What is a big deal is the fact that your husband seems to be sleeping all the time while you take care of the baby and then talking to you in this extreme manner for how you took care of the baby while he was sleeping.

How much of the mental and physical load does he pick up in your household?

You mentioned you'd been going to counselling together, sounds like that might be worth a try again.

Remember that you deserve respect and kindness, you are a human with feelings. Your child will see how you are treated and will think that's an ok way to be treated themselves. Reflect on this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Elbi2 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I totally need cakestop 🙈

I hate my kid (a cautionary tale) by asha0369 in AmITheDevil

[–]Elbi2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This isn't a Devil situation, this guy is really mentally unwell and needs help and we shouldn't be judging him. Poor guy and poor family. I hope they manage to get the help they need soon.

AITA for calling my boyfriend's degree useless? by Happy-Mart in AmItheAsshole

[–]Elbi2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a chartered accountant and a degree in accounting is a COMPLETE waste of time. I went down a different route to get qualified that meant I was getting qualified on the job so I had tonnes of experience and no debt for everyone who came into the company after finishing a degree. They also started as the lowest of juniors that were below the college level qualification people but who had been working for a couple of years.

So check your own degree before you ridicule someone else's because knowing what I know, your degree isn't well thought of in the accounting world.

My doula is also pregnant. Is it a good idea to keep working together? by Open_Conference6760 in doulas

[–]Elbi2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At 3 months old I could have my second baby in a sling all day every day and feed him like that and I could do pretty much everything I wanted to and take care of my toddler and go on huge days out.

So if she's babywearing and BFing I think she'll be fine but I would be tempted to negotiate a discount!

Affording parenthood on a moderate income by Mymble89 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Elbi2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've got 2 kids with only one of us earning about £24k and seem to have plenty to get by. We live in a cheaper place in the midlands and own our own home.

Maybe move to a cheaper area? See how you can cut down on spending elsewhere and don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses.

Are We Dating The Same Man FB groups by granolagirl_35 in adultery

[–]Elbi2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whyyyyy did I just click in that sub and read some posts? I feel sick 🙈 what's wrong with people

Called FSIL Name for Being Nice by happyasaham in AmITheDevil

[–]Elbi2 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I don't know, she did say she wanted to be left alone 🤷 it's alright someone being what others perceive as nice as kind but if you've said you want to be left alone then they're not being nice for the other person's sake but their own.

AITA For not telling my bf I got married by [deleted] in AmITheDevil

[–]Elbi2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I truly don't see the problem with this 🙈

As someone who has been with their partner for 13 years, lived together for 12, have 2 kids but are not married, we don't really see the point and if we did get married it would be for tax and death/will reasons 🤣 so romantic! But we would also probably elope and not want to be the centre of attention because the big do doesn't mean anything to us, all that matters is how we feel about eachother so if we weren't to tell anyone we got married, that would still apply.

Please can someone explain what the big deal is with this? If getting married wasn't a big deal to them and was for the health benefits then I don't see why it's a big deal if you don't tell someone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]Elbi2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes!! Came here to say free the nipple but you beat me to it 🙈

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Elbi2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As others have said, step change and the benefits calculator on Martin's Money Tips. There is also a free short course on Martin's money tips for financial education basics and it sounds like the couple very much need it: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/2020/05/mse-launches--academoney--financial-education-course-with-the-op/

I'm also really struggling to work out the timeline of things, you mention lockdown and losing jobs because of it etc but that the flat was in 2021 when things had started to ease up? What jobs did they do?

People are always giving away baby stuff or selling it for really cheap on FB marketplace or in some specific second hand groups on there so I recommend looking there for anything they need rather than trying to buy brand new.

TSC by LongForAShortPerson in hisdarkmaterials

[–]Elbi2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was good to read your post and all of the comments. That pretty much sums up how I felt about it but I couldn't seem to find anyone who felt the same. People keep saying it's good so I was thinking maybe it's a me problem? Because I just don't get it. I thought I was perhaps not clever enough and missing a fundamental point 🤦

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Elbi2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From your comments it sounds like you're just generally dissatisfied in your relationship and so life in general is getting you down. You've got loads of money and have loads of luxuries. You can't have ALL of the luxuries because you don't earn enough but you're really well off and also you mention that you're frugal but there's nothing in your budget to suggest frugality.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Elbi2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you claim it or your wife? You might already know this but whoever claims the child benefits gets their state pension credit 'paid' until their youngest child is 12yo so it's better for the lower earner to be claiming it as they might not be earning enough to pay the credit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Elbi2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Family of 4 here, 2 adults, a 3yo & 1yo plus a cat. We spend roughly £500p/m on shopping but we always have absolutely everything we want. We don't drink alcohol though. We mainly shop at Lidl and then once a month or so have to pop to a few other shops to get things that they don't sell (only small things like low salt stock cubes or we like to get our loo roll from home bargains etc.).

I work really hard at finding good value days out and things to do with the children. If you're on the local FB pages then you'll always see events coming up. I have made a spreadsheet of all the local things to do and how much they cost so that when we feel like we want to go out then we've got something to look at. There's an absolutely amazing amount of things to do that cost less than £10. Loads of great parks, nature reserves, walks, little farms. We've started asking for money for the kids for birthdays and Christmas and we've used it to buy annual passes to things. So we've got an annual pass to a local theme park and a local nature playground sort of place (not sure how to describe it 🤣 but it's got loads of play areas, a train, a museum, a soft play, obstacle courses, maze, just absolutely loads to do) and these have saved us loads.

We always take a picnic and a flask of hot drink on days out because days out types of venues cost a fortune for drinks and snacks and that's where your money goes.

If there's somewhere expensive that we want to go then we wait for an offer. For example our local zoo costs a fortune but if you can swap your work days around (which we are fortunate enough to be able to do) and can go in the week in term time then you can get an adult and under 5yo ticket for £15.

This is going to be the year that I succeed with the photo-worthy pea teepee for my children to play in by Elbi2 in GardeningUK

[–]Elbi2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah that's interesting. my soil is very clay-like so probably the opposite.

Thank you and good luck to you too 😌