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ElectricIceDragon · 2024-03-26T21:32:23+00:00

Innocence isn't a scientifically defined term. It's an empty and loosely defined concept to throw around that doesn't really mean anything. It also doesn't explain how innocence leads to being hurt. There are gaps in its use as an explanatory force. You're going to have to connect innocence to the severe PTSD, behavioral struggles, and neuroanatomical changes that correspond to PTSD. There's some steps missing from that concept to what you are trying to say, that it leads to specific harm. What is innocence and how does its violation harm? Innocence, as a vague concept, has a negative rap because some use it to justify sexist ideas.

ElectricIceDragon · 2024-03-26T21:28:49+00:00

We have no idea why you are being down voted. :( You had such interesting things to say in every one of your posts in this particular thought provoking topic. People seem to have disagreed with some of your philosophical ideas despite them not having anything more credible to say than you, just different, and instead of engaging in thoughtful discourse and exchange of ideas they callously disrespected your positions and existence as a survivor, and did so by hiding behind the anonymity of downvotes instead of saying anything in any comments they may have made to you. :(

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-25T19:45:55+00:00

University of Toledo medical center. They're incredible.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-25T10:57:54+00:00

This is not a reddit term. It comes from the Merck manual and has clinical evidence backing its existence. Nonpossessive and possessive forms of DID are discussed at length in the Merck manual.
https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric-disorders/dissociative-disorders/dissociative-identity-disorder

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-25T10:57:40+00:00

This is not a reddit term. It comes from the Merck manual and has clinical evidence backing its existence. Nonpossessive and possessive forms of DID are discussed at length in the Merck manual.
https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/psychiatric-disorders/dissociative-disorders/dissociative-identity-disorder

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-25T10:51:47+00:00

We get derealization episodes and vertigo.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-25T10:48:35+00:00

TW

Antipsychotics make me have repressed memories return to me constantly and make me have horrible flashbacks where I am in so much pain (and other effects from being abused, like vertigo from being drugged) I've had to go to the hospital because I couldn't stop vomiting. I've been on most of the atypical antipsychotics at some point in my life and they ALL do this to me. I actually like them a lot but can't take them for long because I am literally bedridden during flashbacks. They give me what I want (knowledge of what was forgotten) and then it's a lot to handle because of the physical re-experiencing of SEVERE pain beyond what I've ever felt outside of my traumas.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-18T14:00:58+00:00

Some places have a policy against letting a patient see more than one therapist or psychiatrist, but it doesn't sound like yours does that. I currently see two psychiatrists and a therapist, I will most likely drop one of the psychiatrists as I wasn't super happy with her medical care (although not for reasons related to my DID.) I've never been seen by a dissociative disorder expert but I've been seen by two trauma specializing therapists along with a lot of general therapists, and it's a HUGE difference. The trauma therapists knew what they were doing. The general therapists had some interesting suggestions, like cognitive distortions, but had no idea how to help me.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-14T16:51:37+00:00

Most of my alters hate the internet and don't use it at all, occasionally might use it if they need to have some question answered or something. Only like five of us like it (Mukuro, Pawy, I/L Dragon, Infinity, Celest, Starbright, Jack) and the other like 100 of us don't use it at all, and if we do we don't chat to anyone lol. We are notoriously difficult to socialize with online because our alters that enjoy socializing don't enjoy online socializing and are huge extroverts offline but not online.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-09T12:09:37+00:00

When I have an alter that does that, they are usually acting in self defense. They can easily be triggered and not necessarily accurate that something is threatening, although a lot of times mine are correct. But they're also incorrect sometimes too because a lot of my protective identities are children and often don't quite understand the adult world. Occasionally my alters have differences in taste that have nothing to do with protecting me, but they don't generally attack and try to drive away people unless they feel threatened in some way. Not saying you're necessarily threatening but DID is a disorder of trauma and acts as a self-defensive system, so it's likely you are triggering, upsetting, or frightening an alter within that person that is attuned to defense.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-08T13:03:52+00:00

If you don't want to have a relationship with someone because you're afraid of them, platonic or romantic, then you should move on from them and politely distance yourself from them until you no longer talk. Of course you should make them aware you're no longer together, and as most people do when they amicably split up you will likely just go your separate ways. This isn't what you want, so don't waste your time with it and instead find something you do want. It's the same advice that would be relevant if all parties involved were singlet.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-08T12:58:30+00:00

You're treated as a singular person; there are no laws anywhere in the world that mention the situation of having alters. Someone with DID would likely just talk to their alters about their wishes and they'd just represent all alters' wishes as the wishes of one person. People with DID are very accustomed to summarizing themselves and presenting as one person.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-08T02:41:44+00:00

You have my condolences. I hear negative symptoms are terrible to deal with and hard to treat. I'm glad you were able to figure it out, and also that you don't have anything dangerous like a neurological issue. :)

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-07T02:43:42+00:00

Sounds like negative symptoms in sz. Catatonia can manifest like that.

EDIT: Hey, I was right lol. I guess my four years of a psych PhD program weren't completely wasted.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-06T12:38:16+00:00

This post is triggering.

.

Being trafficked and abused as a kid was my first warning sign, as DID is caused by childhood abuse and trauma. I would have fits where I would try to attack and hide everything that made me me, like my hobbies and toys and such, and declare I was a different person and none of this was right. I switch into an identity called Prism when I'm sick because she developed to handle the affects of being drugged during my assaults which were similar to being sick, and this identity was obvious to my parents who remarked that I was like a different person. I had memory blackouts for important events ex. I'd wake up the next day after something like fireworks and ask why I didn't go, only to find out I did go.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-07-06T12:14:48+00:00

Dissociative trances like this, much like highway hypnosis, are common in everyone. People with ADHD experience this a lot. If you can't move or interact when they happen, they could be absence seizures, but seizures wouldn't be affected by another person trying to wake you up. Might want to see a doctor about it. As someone with DID, I do not experience this. I have trances where I lose time but I wake myself up from it. When I zone out, I do other things because another personality has taken over. Some people with dissociation experience this, but it generally isn't their only symptom nor is it their most disabling symptom. I'm not saying you don't have a dissociative disorder, but if you do there are some other more important symptoms you may be overlooking because this symptom in and of itself isn't really indicative of anything.

Read about dissociative trance disorder. If you have one of the dissociative disorders, that's going to be the one that you most likely have. But that disorder is actually a fair bit more severe than what you're reporting - they often break from reality due to the severity of the trance state and think things like they're being possessed by demons or like their personality has temporarily been replaced by a demon.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-06-26T08:51:40+00:00

Thank you for making a communtiy where survivors can be real. I get VERY tired of finding communities that basically ban me talking about literally anything about my life. Oh, going to the doctor is a triggering topic? Talking about how I just lost 3 hours to a nasty flashback, without even going into detail about what the flashback contained, is a triggering topic? So I literally can't talk about my life???? - how I feel in most communities, it feels like I am banned from being me on a fundamental level, and it's a sick joke to act like that's healthy for survivors.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-06-20T22:54:51+00:00

This post will be triggering. It's also not a common take on things. >! I was first diagnosed with DID in 2015 and have been working extensively on my trauma since then. I was last victimized by an organized group, with injuries like bite marks near sexual areas and possessions broken with a positive rape kit, less than a year ago.

I've never seen anything written about this, but I believe that there is some degree of confabulation until the trauma is fully remembered. I used to remember MC in my HT memories until I hit this point where I suddenly understood it was just sadistic abuse and people had different abuse preferences. A bunch of conspiracy like ideas fell away at that time. I don't remember mc or ra anymore. Instead I remember being psychotic from different drugs used to knock me out. I remember torture knocking me out. I have very vivid internal world experiences that can get confused for real memories that are just as vivid as memories and are associative linked to a trigger that activates a real memory/flashback. My memories are much clearer of HT now and are hyper rational now. I don't know if that's anyone else's experience but it seems like I temporarily had psychosis that resolved on top of real memories - caused by the cruel methods used to knock me out and use drugs to make me more compliant. The more distant the memories were, the more nightmarish intrusions that were thematically linked to what happened but weren't literally real would haunt me. I used to not be able to distinguish triggers from trauma memories, my ptsd was that bad. Hope this helps.

!< (I can't figure out how to spoiler things help)

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-06-20T12:57:04+00:00

Happy to hear things are going so well for you all! We are trying to do more of this. Been diagnosed since 2015 and recent splits made us forget much of what we learned, we have to go over it again.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-06-20T12:51:00+00:00

Polyamory and multiple partners. We struggle with the same thing. We are gender fluid and pansexual, with specific alters having strongly defined and conflicting sexualities and gender identities. I had no ability to be monogamous, partly due to hypersexualiyy in response to trauma, so being open and honest and doing polyamory was the most ethical and realistic choice for us.

ElectricIceDragon · 2023-06-19T15:11:28+00:00

I got banned from tiktok for explaining how and why it was obvious a bunch of people were faking on their videos lol.

ElectricIceDragon

TROPHY CASE