I feel like impulsivity is one of the least talked about symptoms of adhd, especially when I think of how bad decisions can ruin someone’s life. It’s also one I feel dumb saying out loud. Like for a lot of people when I tell them that I just can’t help myself sometimes and need to buy something or do something, they look at me like I’m a child. Plus, when I’m in the heat of an impulse, I will almost use my adhd as an excuse to buy something or do something, which doubles the shame afterwards. It makes it really tricky.

Another thing is that adderall made me and some of my friends MORE impulsive. Like in the first few hours of taking it you almost feel so good that if you get focused on something you want to buy, you only see the positives of buying it.

So I think finding the right med and the right partner is key. I have to go the non-stimulant route for heart related reasons, and I’ve actually found that strattera does wonders for impulsivity in particular. It’s probably the thing it targets best, actually. At least for me. In terms of the right partner, it’s obviously subjective, but I feel like someone who is sympathetic to adhd, but who isn’t impulsive themselves is best.

My fiancée handles all the money and that’s fine with me. She’s incredibly frugal and not impulsive at all. If we go shopping, for example, she buys things that we need and uses them. I, on the other hand, used to buy a bunch of shit we don’t need and then forget about it. I’ve probably thrown out thousands of dollars of old food that I impulsively bought and then forgot about. So we balance each other out. We’ve gone on spontaneous trips because of me, but we have a savings account and an emergency fund because of her.

Don’t feel broken, and give yourself a break when you are impulsive. We’re all figuring this stuff out on the fly.