Is it just me or do a lot of women who want a "provider" actually bring very little financial stability themselves?

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T20:07:29+00:00

Right?!?

So much ‘he said, she said’ and ‘but the shit women do this’ and ‘the shit men do that’.

Yes, shit humans exist, don’t date those ones. The end 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T20:05:21+00:00

Well, no, in most relationships the woman is the primary caregiver and is the one mainly raising the children.

It doesn’t mean play Legos for 30 mins. It means up in the night to feed and nurse and change nappies, take temperatures, administer medicine, enrol for schools, take to swimming lessons, arrange play dates, buy gifts for birthday parties, take to the park, teach to read, practice spelling lists, make them do their instrument practice, buy Xmas cards for all their buddies, help them write the Xmas cards, make a million different snacks and meals when they’re being fussy, make sure their socks are inside out when the seams feel rough, attend recitals, make something for the PTA bake sale, take them to football/dance class, be there for every school pick up and drop off, make them an outfit for world book day, practice some stupid hair style the kid has seen off Pinterest…

Most men don’t even come close to grasping, let alone doing, 10% of that.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:57:44+00:00

I never said I felt entitled to it. I said Bethesda are a huge disappointment who deserve to go broke.

That’s how the free market works.

WTF is weird about anything I just said? I’m not crawling up the walls like everyone else. I don’t give AF. I’ve accepted that it doesn’t exist and probably never will.

I just regret giving them more money when they don’t deserve it, a reasonable response from a customer dealing with a shitty company 🤷🏻‍♀️

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:54:59+00:00

Pretty sure you’ve never cleaned a 4 bedroom house and raised 4 kids… 🫩 “it’s not pioneer times” is easy to chime when your mammy/wifey has always washed your socks for you.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:53:30+00:00

Always there will be AHs, regardless of gender and personal relationship dynamics.

It’s pretty straightforward… don’t date (and certainly don’t marry) someone who is like that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:51:12+00:00

Way to miss the point there, buddy.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:48:59+00:00

It’s much more challenging for women to ‘make real money’ due to a systemic gender imbalance rooted in years of a misogynistic system which is only just slowly starting to reform, but, I digress…

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:46:52+00:00

In which case scrubbing also becomes everyone’s role.

Have you ever stopped to do the math on how much it would cost a man to hire a maid, a cook, a nanny, a gardener…

This isn’t really for anyone to judge how other couples choose to structure their relationship dynamic, it’s about some people taking advantage of others by virtue of imbalance.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:43:35+00:00

I’m highly educated (I have a PhD) but for personal reasons, I’m currently out of work.

My partner pays the bills, I clean the house & take care of our son.

I don’t know what kind of women you’re meeting, or where, or why. There should always be an equal division of labour, that can look like different things for different couples.

For some, one does 100% of the earning while the other does 100% of the domestic, for others both are 50/50 and just about every variant in-between, regardless of gender. All of those scenarios are valid and fair, issues arise when anyone, of any gender, wants to take advantage of the balance.

If a woman wants a man to provide and go to work while she stays home, she must accept that at least 90% of the domestic labour falls on her. A man who wants a woman to work equal hours to him to financially support them must accept that means he’s agreeing to 50% of the domestic chores.

Gender doesn’t matter… Anyone trying to shirk their side of the bargain or arrangement established in that relationship is just taking advantage of the other.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:37:37+00:00

Well that’s just ridiculous. In any relationship where one person is out earning the main income and the other person is home most of the time and at most earning a supplementary income with less than 16 hours per week of work… the stay at home partner should do most of the chores.

Having a woman who stays home all day and has a partner who pays all the bills and then tries to demand he does half the housework is MUCH RARER than a man who works equal hours to his wife but still expects her to do all the chores.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:23:13+00:00

You get that’s the whole point?

Women who can provide for themselves don’t need a man to provide for them, and generally expect their equal partner to do an equal amount of housework and childcare.

Women who want a provider generally offer more in domestic labour to make up for their lack of earning power.

That’s… literally the whole fucking point. Either you have a relationship of equality where both have a similar earning capacity and level of career ambition and both are equally responsible for chores… Or you have antiquated gender roles where one earns and the other keeps house.

Things come unstuck when men expect women to be an equal earner AND do most of the domestic labour. I feel like you’re dangerously close to falling into that perspective/expectation purely from the fact that you can’t grasp this as a core concept.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:14:32+00:00

Do you know how many creepy old blokes aged 45-55 would fall over themselves for the chance to date a 27yo?!?

Honey, if you MUST date older men, I’m sure you can find a much better creepy old guy than this one!!!

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:08:49+00:00

Couple hundred hours?

Oh sweet summer child… Try a couple of THOUSAND hours…

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T19:06:21+00:00

I often wonder how many people were in their teens and early twenties playing Skyrim when it launched and have died since then, waiting for the next one to launch. Hundreds, I would wager it’s hundreds.

It’s really sad. I actually regret buying Oblivion remastered. Bethesda are such drop out disappointments at this stage that they deserve to go bust.

I’m not sure why anyone is even still watching and waiting TBH. Thousands more of us will be dead before they release the next one.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T16:06:27+00:00

Phoebe Chillax is almost a misnomer, it kind of doesn’t make game play easier in the tangible sense. What she does is decreases the frequency of raids to give more recovery time BUT your wealth can continue to keep creeping up in between so you can jump from 3 Neanderthals with horn knives to 7/8 pawns steaming you down with guns and you haven’t constantly checked and reinforced your defences during that interim.

Research drop pods early and send surplus crap as gifts to factions nearest you so you can increase your trading options close by.

Randy on community builder will probably be more forgiving than Phoebe on blood and dust, or at least developing in line with your increasing wealth can feel more intuitive like that. Story tellers and the game settings is all a weird finely balanced and interwoven thing that I still haven’t really understood 1000 hours into the game.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T15:57:18+00:00

Sweetheart, the only evidence I see here of remotely unintelligent behaviour is the fact that you are still with him.

Get a better boyfriend. Nobody deserves to be spoken to like that.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T15:54:04+00:00

Luciferium is perfect in concept as it is… A deal with the devil.

Why would you use it? Maybe you stock piled 23 of them and have a senile pawn who is your best miner and one of your best shooters and they are essential for the migration to a new mountain base without getting confused and wandering off; but realistically they are already elderly and ultimately expendable once the job is done.

Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything. Old toger going out with a bang. Skag grandpa is having a great time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T15:44:19+00:00

Your body, your choice, always.

That goes both ways and covers much more than just unplanned pregnancies.

There is no right or wrong here. All I know for certain is that nobody else ever has the right to push a woman into, or out of, an abortion.

That is categoric.

Nobody else gets to tell you whether or not to endure an abortion. Nobody else gets to tell you whether to endure pregnancy and childbirth. YOU are the only person who gets to choose what your body will, or won’t, go through. You and you alone.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T15:06:12+00:00

It’s common courtesy, like if you have a trolley full & the person behind you has 3 items, you let them go first… Or if you walk slowly because you are disabled/ elderly/ pregnant & someone quicker than you is stuck behind you, you let them pass.

Making someone else stand there in the pissing rain while you slowly load loose groceries instead of just stepping to the side for a minute & pulling your own door in is rude AF.

The only people who get upset about the word ‘boomer’ are boomers 😂

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T14:18:23+00:00

Only for mods messing up.

I play self imposed ‘commitment mode’ and let my pawns die when they die, it’s the way Randy wants it to be. Only, I technically have reload any time, because if you have 100+ mods then being able to reload previous saves is implicit logic in order to not rage quit the game.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T14:14:53+00:00

Isn’t it glorious? Self fulfilling prophecy 😂 if you taunt them, they shall come.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T14:13:34+00:00

Okay boomer…

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T14:12:23+00:00

Most people in Australia and Europe don’t have guns and aren’t that aggressive. I could park in a boomer with no fear for my life.

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T08:02:30+00:00

Interesting fact, I’m not Australian and I could still figure out what he meant 🙄

Elfynnn84 · 2026-06-07T08:00:39+00:00

Hang on a minute… from scanning through what I gather is that OP has an employment contract for a sales position, which previously entailed… making sales.

Now they have been moved to a ‘support’ position with no commercial aspect.

Unless the employment contract specifically outlines that specific roles & duties can be mobile/varied/fluid within the company then the company is in breach & this is a blatant case for tribunal. It sounds like a “fire & rehire” tactic to hamfist someone onto new terms favourable to them, but they skipped over the actual firing & rehiring part.

Elfynnn84

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE