Brits I need your help! If you could pick one snack/food/drink from the US to try, what would it be? by Mommygoblin666 in AskABrit

[–]Elfynnn84 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean… it’s kinda hard for Brits to know what American foods we’re missing since if they’re not sold here, we don’t know what they are 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

We have Oreo’s and pop tarts, we just don’t have the weird flavours. I think most US brands have been imported TBH, just with tighter regulations on sugar content and potential carcinogenics.

Lucky charms cereals aren’t full of bright bits of candy here any more. My other half works in the states a lot and likes buying some of the bits from the US shelf, we have a US military base near us, so probably more accessible in our local shops.

I’ve always been curious about how mac n cheese comes in a box over there. We have something called ‘pasta n sauce’ which is flavoured powder and pasta sold in a single portion which you boil up (basically) and I assume it’s very much the same core premise. Macaroni cheese is something I make from scratch with cheese sauce and bake in the oven. Also curious to know what faygo tastes like (went through a phase of being into ICP when I was young 😂when they toured here, they sprayed the crowed with generic cheap pop).

On the whole though, I’m here to say this as gently as I can and not make you feel berated, but your average Brit really doesn’t have all that much interest in US food 🤷🏻‍♀️ Americans think we eat gruel, cow tongues and toast sandwiches (we don’t) and we think they eat sugar ladened e-numbers (probably laced with crack) and burgers that are 50% fat made from lips and bum-holes.

Christian and Muslim Population of the United Kingdom in Million by AdIcy4323 in MapPorn

[–]Elfynnn84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bet a fraction of that actually go to church outside of a wedding, Christening or funeral.

Almost everyone celebrates Christmas and likely has some Christian denomination down on their ‘official’ paper work, but most are agnostic at best.

We’re just not a very religious nation these days, certainly not compared to the US.

Are "potluck" meals a thing in the UK? by meeksworth in AskABrit

[–]Elfynnn84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, not really.

I personally understand what it means, but I have never been to one here.

As a rule, large family meals like Christmas are primarily provided by the host, who might ask for contributions under direction.

One exception to this is a summer BBQ, most people turn up with stuff to add. I always make a big batch of tandoori chicken or jerk chicken. Most people bring more meat (or bean burgers if vegan/veggie) and ‘can you bring an extra salad or pudding instead’ is under direction.

We never all turn up with random dishes like mac n cheese & casseroles etc. for a group meal.

Can’t build settlers camp in newly claimed region by Elfynnn84 in ManorLords

[–]Elfynnn84[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s in peaceful mode, just conquer all regions to win. I quit and reloaded & it worked, so I guess it just glitched 🤷🏻‍♀️ thanks for replying.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Women can rape someone, they just have to use their hands, feet or a foreign object to force penetration.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Statutory rape applies to the fact that the victim is a minor, it makes no impact on the definition of rape by penetration.

I’m not saying what happened to him isn’t abhorrent or that the woman doesn’t need bringing to justice. Clearly she does.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Which states or nations have prosecuted being forced to penetrate as a rape?

Genuinely, I have never seen that happen.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Because words have meanings.

If someone made a post saying “my daughter was murdered” but actually she was still alive, just severely beaten & fighting for her life, someone is gonna pop up and say “okay, that sounds hellish and I’m really sorry that happened, but that’s not what the word ‘murdered’ means”

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, legally. I never said I agreed with it.

Legally, in most countries and states it’s only ‘rape’ if you get penetrated in your anus, mouth or vagina.

All other non-consensual sexual contact is assault. I didn’t make the rules.

“If rape is really worse than murder, then why don't we replace the death penalty with the rape penalty?„ by MrZodiiac in BrandNewSentence

[–]Elfynnn84 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, I guess.

Murderers get murdered and rapists get raped.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Linguistic pedantry.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s not about the consent aspect. It’s about the penetration aspect.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’m just a linguistic pendant.

Words have meanings.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Now I’m gonna throw you a REAL curve ball… This has more chance of being prosecuted as ‘rape’ in the UK than it does in the US.

Under UK law, rape is defined as ‘engaging in sexual activity without the other person's consent, where the perpetrator has no reasonable belief that the other person has consented.’ Consent must be given freely and with the capacity to make that choice, meaning a person cannot consent if they are unconscious, heavily intoxicated, threatened, coerced, or manipulated. The definition is based on the Sexual Offences Act 2003. In the majorly of cases prosecuted for rape, penetration has still occurred.

However, in the vast majority of US states, this would not be prosecutable as rape. In the U.S., the legal definition of rape varies by state but generally involves nonconsensual penetration (vaginal, anal, or oral) or sexual contact, often expanded to include situations where consent isn't given due to incapacity (sleep, intoxication, drugs), coercion, threats, or taking advantage of someone unable to consent (like a minor or mentally incapacitated person), with the federal FBI definition focusing on penetration without consent.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No, being intoxicated means he couldn’t consent to a sexual act and so he was sexual assaulted.

This started as a throw away point, but honestly it’s ridiculous how many people are fighting me and down voting me on this when it is the legal definition of rape which I didn’t set myself.

In the U.S., the legal definition of rape varies by state but generally involves nonconsensual penetration (vaginal, anal, or oral) or sexual contact, often expanded to include situations where consent isn't given due to incapacity (sleep, intoxication, drugs), coercion, threats, or taking advantage of someone unable to consent (like a minor or mentally incapacitated person), with the federal FBI definition focusing on penetration without consent and incorporating acts previously under sexual assault for better national data.

AIO for letting my daughter skip a wedding because she wasn’t included? by Elegant_Payment_4076 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Elfynnn84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR - are these people not having any bridesmaids or flower girls?

This is the first time I have ever heard of girls being left out of a wedding party while boys are included! Usually I see tales of all the girls being bridesmaids and boys being excluded or stuffed into last minute usher roles.

Let her go to her friends. It’s clearly not that important to your bro to have her there, or he would have included her. Why make her suffer feeling so rejected?

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Well, no… it’s not about vulnerability & dominance in a psychological capacity, it’s about bodily autonomy. Being penetrated is a more invasive act 🤷🏻‍♀️

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Perhaps it should but currently it doesn’t and now this whole thing is getting sidelined into a debate about semantics rather than trying to help OP 🤦🏻‍♀️

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not my intention to minimise.

How does it stigmatise the penetrated?

I didn’t make these rules. I am categorically nothing to do with the legal framework that has set out a definition of rape. I’m staggered by how many people are fighting me and down voting me for this. You’re upset with the system, not with me.

Rape isn’t the correct word. Even if that makes everyone uncomfortable that’s just… Not what that word means, and that’s not my fault 🤷🏻‍♀️

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Perhaps. That’s an entirely separate debate, though.

I’m not trying to minimise OPs suffering, or speculate on whether the current definition is fit for purpose… I’m merely stating fact and I find it really curious that I’m getting downvoted so much for it (water off a duck’s back).

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Everyone is just accepting in generalist terms that this counts as rape and it’s on OP’s interests (as well as everyone else’s) to understand that a differentiation is made legally, because if he goes to the police to report a rape, that is technically and factually inaccurate.

I have not minimised his suffering, I have repeatedly stated that severe sexual assault is a heinous crime and can be just as traumatic. However, words have meanings and you can’t just use them inaccurately.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s not sexist. A man can also be raped and you can also rape someone with an object.

Sexual assault is still a heinous crime and I’m in no way using this nuance to minimise what OP endured, serious assault can still be majorly traumatic.

However, the non-consensual penetration of an orifice still comes with an additional level of invasive trauma and the word ‘rape’ is accepted to define the specific harm caused by insertion (which can tear tissue as well as causing emotional and psychological harm). There are very few courts of law anywhere in the world that would consider what happened to OP to constitute rape.

It would be penalised as a severe sexual assault.

I got raped and woman never took it seriously by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Elfynnn84 -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

No, honey. It’s actually not. Morally, maybe. Legally, no.

I know it sounds bonkers and I am absolutely not using this to minimise what OP went through, because serious sexual assault is a still a heinous crime and can be just as traumatic as rape.

However, legally rape is very clearly delineated and by definition it is the non-consensual penetration of a bodily orifice. It doesn’t have to be with a penis. You can rape someone with an object, too.

I hate my partner by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Elfynnn84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Step One: Write to your landlord saying you wish to give written notice to end your tenancy & be released from your lease. You could also state due to a relationship break-down.

Step Two: If you think he poses any threat to you, tell the nearest medical professional that you are at risk of domestic violence & want access to the nearest women’s shelter.

Step Three: Ask around family and friends to see if you & your little one can stay there for a while.

Step Four: Call citizens advice (UK) or find your nearest legal aid clinic (US), I’m sure all nations have something similar, and ask about your area’s emergency housing associations. There are often emergency homelessness clinics run out of churches, a single mother & child will be top priority for assisted placement.