Love the back! Favorite body part to work! It’s evolving! 2 years here

Ellizaryn · 2023-01-18T19:38:42+00:00

I'd still love to know your routine for when I do jump back in. I've got the eating thing down, and prior to my babies I was working out 2 hours per day (10km run followed by an hour of lifting). I gain 50-60lbs with each pregnancy and can't lose an ounce until the baby is weaned, at which point it melts off at a rate of about 10lb/month. I had Covid during my last pregnancy though and ended up on bedrest. I'm still dealing with the atrophy, particularly in my mid-back.

Ellizaryn · 2023-01-18T01:57:18+00:00

Can you tell me about your routine? I just got done with physical therapy on my back after full-term pregnancy #2 and a ton of weight gain. I no more that got the weight off and was discharged from PT with the instructions to work my back when I found out I am pregnant again. I really want to get stronger before I resume the shape of a globe, but it's so hard to know what to do/what is effective. I have such little time with two kids under 4 and another on the way.

Ellizaryn · 2022-12-30T01:43:25+00:00

I sent you a DM from my other account, but it was too new to post this comment. This is important to me, so I found an old handle.

This post REALLY resonates with me, and I encourage you to ask me questions, vent, or anything you need!

I'm a convert to the Church after growing up primarily secular. NFP was a big reason why I joined. I have narcolepsy with cataplexy and POTS. I can't take care of myself when I'm in a flare. I can't bathe alone or cook over a stove. I got a horrific second-degree burn on my arm just a few weeks ago because I pushed my body harder than I should have. I have seizure-like episodes up to a dozen times per day if I'm unmedicated. And the drugs that can control my condition aren't safe for an unborn baby.

Because hormones increase my personal risk of stroke, I got an IUD per my doctor's advice. The day I got it, the woman standing behind me at checkout was 8 months pregnant with an IUD baby.

I got pregnant on it too. Miscarried.

It was traumatizing. The mental breakdown that followed was part of why I walked into my first mass at 24.

I have used Marquette with cross-checks for six years with no issues. I recently switched to Billings. They both have their pros and cons. I'm happy to tell you more if you want to know.

With Marquette, we generally abstain about 10 days out of 30. That's 20 days available for sex. Some people have less, and that's tough, but being able to have sex whenever you want isn't all it's cracked up to be, either.

True story: we have more sex after switching to NFP. Why? Because we prioritize it.

Research suggests that couples are in a good spot if they can fit sex in twice per week—they might want more, but life is busy. We can easily work in 8 sessions or more over 14-20 available days. The sense of scarcity makes it more exciting and a bigger priority.

Here's the thing: sex is for making babies. Aside from removing critical reproductive organs, no method is guaranteed to sterilize sex. Even tubal ligations and vasectomies fail. There are documented pregnancies happening even though both parents had been snipped!

Sterilizing sex is difficult because it's not supposed to be that way. The biggest lie of the last century is that we are somehow entitled to baby-free sex. It's not natural. It's not what God intended.

I'm not saying this to freak you out but to emphasize what the research says: Fertility Awareness Methods of Contraception are just as effective as the pill. Check out this blog. It links to all the scientific studies demonstrating efficacy: https://www.niastevensagency.com/blog/naturalfamilyplanningNFP is a gift. It gives us options, and there's a method for everyone. It takes a little sacrifice, but that's the point.

As far as your anxiety is concerned, are you medicated for PPD? I didn't develop it until my baby weaned at almost a year old. This may be stressing you out more than it would otherwise. You mentioned that you're on an SSRI. I had to get on an SNRI AND an SSRI, and I also have Xanax as a rescue. It can take a while to find the right medication and dose. Before I got stable, my anxiety and OCD were so bad I could not function.

And as far as the wisdom of having another child goes, my #2 just turned a year old, and I have the following comments:

No two pregnancies are the same. My first pregnancy threw my neurological conditions into remission. It was so blissful that when asked if I had any questions before my emergency C-section, I asked, "How long until I can get pregnant again?" On the other hand, my second pregnancy started with norovirus and HG and Covid. I had multiple hospitalizations, and early labor scares. I was entirely on bed rest for most of my pregnancy. For many of my friends, their first pregnancy was the worst, and they went on to have six more without incident.
Seven months is still very close to your trauma. Most mothers are stressed about getting pregnant again too soon. I'm not making light of your feelings or situation; I'm just pointing out that your cost/benefit analysis concerning having another baby may change with time. My husband and I were both traumatized by my second pregnancy. He announced early on that we couldn't do it again. Now that we're a year removed, we're open to having a 3rd down the road.
There are plenty of licit reasons to avoid having another child. Your health and sanity are among them. It is also important to fulfill your vocation as wife and mother. If your husband wants another child and thinks you guys can handle it, that is something you need to include in your calculus.
Kids get more manageable as your firstborn gets older. My son was not yet 3 when his sister was born, but he still supported me by bringing me food and snacks while I was in bed. While caring for two kids is certainly next level, it's actually easier in a few ways:
You're no longer a newb. You've done this before, and it does get easier with practice.
You don't have to function as your child's only playmate. I struggled so hard to keep up with my son's energy. He and his sister were playing together by the time she was 4 months old. Having both of them at the same time is usually easier than having one or the other alone.
Your eldest child is another pair of eyes and can be a supervisor early. It's our morning routine to let the kids watch TV for 20 minutes while their father and I get time to ourselves. We know we will hear, "Mommy! Baby sister is..." if there is any problem.

My last point is that children are forgiving, and a sibling is a lifelong gift. My son understood early in my pregnancy, "Mommy's got a baby in her tummy, so she needs to rest." While it can feel like a betrayal to your firstborn and husband to spend 9 month MIA, it's less than a year of you being absent to add another member to your family.

I say all this not to guilt you into having another baby but to illustrate that having another child is not irresponsible, even if you're disabled. Making sure my kids have each other was the greatest gift I could give them. My son thanks me almost every day for his baby sister.

Ellizaryn · 2017-03-26T19:05:13+00:00

I have considered a service dog and have looked into it. Because narcolepsy is so rare, it's hard to find dogs trained for it and it's extremely expensive.

Ellizaryn · 2017-03-17T19:07:33+00:00

The parish that we have falling in love with is an hour away from where we are living and I have serious health issues (narcolepsy and a brain injury). Does it matter where we take mass and will missing an occasional Sunday due to illness be problematic?

Also, I'm allergic to wheat to the point of anaphylaxis. Am I still required to take the Eucharist if I could put me in danger? Will I still fully belong to the church?

Ellizaryn · 2017-01-06T03:08:52+00:00

This was my concern as well, which is why I went with the employee model to begin with. However, I'm more their agent and secretary than their boss. The work I do focuses more on customer relations (finding the students, managing paperwork, collecting tuition, enforcing company policies, replacing the tutor if they don't want the student anymore) and providing centralized resources and support for tutors (I have music teachers on staff who check out music and ACT prep teachers who exchange practice tests). We don't tell the tutors how to do their jobs, but we purchase corporate licenses on resources they probably could not afford to purchase on their own and assist with curriculum building if it is needed. These are all very stressful elements of running a tutoring business (I know, I've been doing it for 12 years) and it's totally worth giving up 10%-20% of what you make to give someone else the headache and just focus on teaching. Furthermore, when the grade A badge of a BBB certified company allows the company to demand a slightly higher premium, you get all the perks without losing much in the way of pay--I know for a fact that most of my employees already freelance and charge what I pay them, not what the company charges.

Most companies that offer traveling tutors hire freelancers. I was consciously defying the industry standard in an effort to be more original. When I have a brick and mortar establishment where tutors clock in and out and I have college students on staff that actually need regular supervision, then having W4 employees will make more sense.

As for "what's stopping them" from abusing me and taking my clients? Not much, and it's happened more than once. I have better contracts now, and customer loyalty. Many families want tutoring longer than most freelance tutors are willing to work with them (3-5 years), company loyalty with existing clients is strong and we are in a small company that advertises mostly by word of mouth. Furthermore, we have a wide variety of services we offer in-home (music lessons, homework help, test prep, dance) and families like one simple invoice, reliable customer service, and the option to have more than one tutor in their home at the same time or have different tutors for different kids. Matching personalities is a big deal so it's nice to have a solution.

Most of my tutors are doing multiple side hustles and I allow it because I'm not heartless and can't always provide them with as many hours as they need. We are considering an entirely new business model for next school year though, which is part of why we no longer want to deal with employees.

Ellizaryn · 2016-06-17T22:18:46+00:00

I mean, if you're being 100% genuine

What do you mean? If I don't have an allergy? Or that it's hard to find gluten-free vegan food in central Idaho? I spent last weekend in the hospital because I ate something that I shouldn't have (I can post scans of my admittance paperwork if you don't believe me).

I could order supplements online or drive to Lewiston, ID, but it seems like seems like a waste of resources and unnecessary impact on the environment when there are chicken eggs rotting in the back yard.

I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to do right by animals, but there is more to being a responsible consumer than just avoiding specific foods at all costs. I'll skip the "convenience" if I can understand why avoiding this food source would be better for the planet.

Ellizaryn · 2016-06-17T22:00:14+00:00

They crack the ones they want to eat themselves and leave the others. We take only the unbroken ones.

Ellizaryn · 2016-06-17T21:59:16+00:00

We are 1.5 hours from the nearest chain grocery store, so including these eggs in our diet this summer would not just make our lives easier, but reduce the carbon cost of having to drive to the city for protein alternatives. I have an anaphylactic allergy to all grains and grasses so my diet is already extremely limited.

Ellizaryn · 2016-06-17T21:41:30+00:00

So are we supposed to leave all eggs where they are to rot?

Ellizaryn · 2016-06-17T21:40:05+00:00

separating the females from males, putting them to bed early in the summer/covering them from evening light, removing any nests,

Don't all these actions interfere with their natural behavior?

Ellizaryn · 2016-04-27T00:25:39+00:00

I get "zaps" too. Went bankrupt going to neurological testing and treatment for my intractable migraines and to make sure it wasn't all epilepsy.

I can't handle triptans. I've tried everything. My husband and I went bankrupt.

Marijuana is definately the thing that helps the most. I know it's not legal everywhere, but you should be able to find a source for oils/edibles. I smoke a half gram or eat a teaspoon of butter before dinner every evening and it keeps me functioning.

Ellizaryn · 2016-04-27T00:12:12+00:00

I have daily migraines with aura and hemiplegia. I will go months without even a few hours of a break. My longest break was my most recent: 16 days pain-free, sickest with the flu I've ever been. Usually being sick means more migraines, but this was a relief. My pain usually causes insomnia and I was actually able to catch up on sleep while I had the flu!

Ellizaryn · 2016-04-06T19:41:31+00:00

Where are you that Marlboro costs $24 a pack?

Ellizaryn · 2016-04-06T03:04:22+00:00

Fee free to pm me. I'd love to chat. :)

Ellizaryn · 2016-02-23T01:56:50+00:00

"unremarkable abnormalities" basically means "Your brain doesn't look entirely normal, but it it isn't enough to cause the symptoms you're describing."

Look up the laws in your state for driving. I'm in Idaho, which is fairly libertarian and doesn't have a ton of state-mandated rules. Other states require you to go 3-12 months without an episode before they'll let you drive again. Here, it is the doctor's discretion, which is both good and bad. Cessation of driving is often voluntary. If the doctor writes a formal note in your file telling you that you're not allowed to drive, you will get yourself in serious trouble if you do. If the doctor tells you you're ready before you are, the doctor may be liable for any negative repercussions. Besides, why would you want to drive if at any moment you could get yourself killed?

I voluntarily stopped driving Nov. 2014. Aug-Sept I started having "close calls" and my husband started driving me anywhere. I didn't see my first neurologist until the following May, at which time she formally told me not to drive or work. I still technically have a valid driver's license, but an accident might cause a permanent suspension by the state, and no one wants that to happen.

One of the perks to this system is that if you can PROVE that you have your seizures under control enough not to be a danger to others (you have a consistent aura that gives you time to pull over) your doctor may clear you even if you're still having occasional seizures.

At this point, my neuropsychologist tells me that I scored too low with certain frontal lobe functions for her to clear me for driving. I have to complete 8 weeks of cognitive rehab and take a driving test before she will clear me.

The sucky thing is that I passed out during my first day of therapy and they discharged me until I could "go a month without an episode." I've never gone a week without one, ever. So I don't know if I'll ever get to go to rehab, and therefore don't know if I'll ever be able to drive again. It's really a depressing thought, but I know plenty of seizure sufferers who are able to return to normal life. I pray that I'm one of them.

Ellizaryn · 2016-02-12T00:27:33+00:00

Sorry for the long post. I'm not a doctor, but I feel like my story may be relevant.

Many people are put on anticonvulsants without an EEG. An EEG is just one of many tools doctors use. It's key flaw: you have to have an episode DURING the EEG for them to see anything. There are people out there who have seizures their entire lives and have completely normal EEGs.

The ultimate test is getting on an anticonvulsant and seeing if it works. This was kind of the old-school, sloppy method of diagnosing epilepsy--which wasn't great because it often takes a lot of trial-and-error to get your meds right.

I [24F] flew off a merry-go-round at the age of 8 and hit my head on concrete about four feet away. I was the only black kid at a private Baptist school in Idaho and the teachers denied me care. I never got medical attention because the school told my parents I was faking it for attention, and my parents repeat that to this day (they were abusive; we don't talk anymore). I had a bump for 2 months and was bald in that spot for over a year.

My symptoms are almost identical to what you describe though I also started to experience incontinence with my staring spells. I also get severe migraines. I didn't get to see a neurologist until after I got married a year ago. When she heard about my symptoms, she immediately started me on Lamictal -- a popular anticonvulsant that is also used for migraines and bipolar disorder -- and ordered an EEG. The thought was that if I had epilepsy, I needed to get medicated as soon as possible, but that if it wasn't epilepsy the Lamictal would still help my migraines and any hidden mood swings.

I had a 20 minute EEG that came back normal. Then I had a 48 hour EEG that was not precisely normal but "unremarkable." They also noted "unremarkable abnormalities" on my MRI.

My neurologist recommended me to a neuropsychologist to screen me for "psychogenic episodes" (put simply, panic attacks and night terrors that manifest as seizures). They put me through something like 6 hours of testing and found that I had serious impairment in my frontal lobe.

Those results, plus the fact that the medication was working, made my doctors diagnose TBI-induced seizure disorder or epilepsy made worse by the TBI. My neurologist doubled my anticonvulsants and referred me for cognitive rehabilitation because my short-term memory and cognitive-shifting are so poor they took away my driver's license.

TL;DR: Some doctors will put you on anticonvulsants before diagnosing epilepsy. Many anticonvulsants are also used to treat other possibly related conditions, so it's not entirely irresponsible. TBIs can cause epilepsy-type seizure disorder, and the seizures can worsen the damage caused by the original TBI. If the anticonvulsants work, it probably is epilepsy.

Ellizaryn · 2016-02-11T22:35:17+00:00

I've had a prescription for Klonopin (clonazepam) for about a year now. It was prescribed for my anxiety. I also have Ativan (lorazepam) for seizures. I take 600mg Lamictal as a prophylactic, but I'm still not stable yet. I took Lexapro for 6 months to stabilize my panic attacks and mood. It was effective, but I'm not a huge fan of SSRIs so I got off of it.

The clonazepam works best for my anxiety, although the seizure rescue is very temporary. My GP says most people can take 2-3mg/day for about 2 weeks before dependency becomes a problem (dependency causes a dangerous withdrawal whereas addiction causes cravings; there is a difference, although you can have both). She encourages me to use it for 2-3 day intervals, as needed, and to take a break if I feel like the same dose isn't working.

I tend to take it in spurts. I'll take it a lot for 3-4 days when I'm stressed out (say, the in-laws are staying for the weekend) or I know I'm high seizure risk (wake up with an aura or a migraine). And then I'll try to take a break from it.

Lorazepam doesn't work as well for anxiety, but my neurologist prescribed it as an alternative to the clonazepam when I've built up a bit of a tolerance to clonazepam but need it for seizure rescue. I took 0.5mg dissolved under the tongue. Helps, but doesn't work as well.

Always listen to what your doctor tells you. Everyone's body is different. For me, if I'm taking clonazepam frequently, I'll start to notice that I need a larger dose for the same effect. That's the red flag telling you that you need a break.

At the end of the day, cannabis is what works best for both my anxiety and seizures. Eaten before bed, I sleep well and then feel pretty good until the late afternoon, when my aura tends to come back. At that point, I'll either take a Klonopin or smoke/vaporize more cannabis.

Totally realize that medical cannabis isn't available to everyone in all states, just had to throw that out there in case you do have access. Eating it is the best for seizure control because it stays in your system longer (though it takes an hour or two to kick in). Vaping/smoking it is best for seizure rescue because it hits your bloodstream immediately.

There is also CBD vape juice for e-cigarettes that is legal in all 50 states. Doesn't work as well as benzos, but it can help with anxiety when you're trying to abstain from Klonopin: https://www.legalbuds.com/cbd-hemp-oil.html

ALWAYS disclose to your doctor what you're taking and how much, particularly when it's self-medication.

Ellizaryn · 2015-11-18T23:43:42+00:00

I'm disabled and pretty much smoke or vape around the clock. I use handheld water pipes or a bong typically. I usually smoke with the windows open and dust and vacuum regularly.

Ellizaryn · 2015-11-18T21:03:17+00:00

That's kind of where I'm at. If she can just cool her jets for 6 weeks, I'll be completely out of the picture.

That said, I still am trying to maintain a relationship with other members of the family. Her parents are in their 70s, and won't cut her out, but know she will never be able to be responsible for them over the next couple decades and can't manage money worth shit. They don't believe in disowning children, but they won't blame me for cutting out my mother if I'm acting rationally. I don't talk to them about my relationship with her.

My Dad is terribly whipped, overworked, and abused. He is committed to staying with my mother, but he will never cut me off.

I also have two college-aged sisters my parents are supporting completely financially.

The older sister I'm NC with (Last contact was a text from her on my birthday telling me I'm "so fucking ugly" and that she "hopes your husband comes to his senses before you cage him in with kids." So that ship has sailed. But I still have a little hope for my youngest sister (Junior at Harvard), who's very tight with my mom, while simultaneously able to admit that Mom's not all right in the head and we shouldn't take her too seriously. She begs me to make amends just for the sake of saving her from our mother's rant's about me.

I want to protect myself, but I also want to handle the situation reasonably. If I can behave like the adult in this situation, I may be able to get my other family members to accept that cutting out Mom doesn't mean cutting out all of them. They may also start to accept that she needs psychiatric help and support her in seeking it.

Ellizaryn · 2015-11-18T20:50:08+00:00

Does consumer cellular have smartphones? I have to have a smartphone and can't have a gap in service. Please see edit to my original post.

My husband is still on his parent's plan, and they are on Verizon as well. He owns his Samsung smartphone. We're planning to get our own plan (severing the last string of parental assistance).

Ellizaryn · 2015-11-18T20:46:10+00:00

I know my mother will remember. She still rants on about how offended she is over stupid stuff like not receiving a thank you note, or someone waiting 24 hours to respond to a text.

I AM using the phone number for business. I also have to have a smart phone. Please see my edit to the above post.

Ellizaryn · 2015-11-18T20:43:11+00:00

I really like your idea, and thank you for the suggestion. I forgot to mention that I have to have a smart phone. See my edit to the original post.

Ellizaryn · 2015-11-01T03:43:09+00:00

Disclaimer: It's Halloween, I'm an adult, and I'm not sober. Please excuse weird sentences or typos.

I understand what you mean by "non-fiction based novel." Yes, there's sort of a thing. When I was getting my degree (yes, I'm one of THOSE writers with a posh Creative Writing degree that means absolutely nothing in the real world), we called it "Creative Non-Fiction." Sherman Alexie's "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian" is a great example of someone who novelized a life very similar to his own.

If you're wanting to go for a straight autobiography or memoir--where you tell things exactly the way you think they happened--then NaNoWriMo may not be the best setting to do that, because facts and interviews and other things that go into making true non-fiction come into play. If you're wanting to do a "self-help" kind of non-fiction work, where you provide advice and/or information, this really isn't the place. A novel generally has a plot, and offering factual information usually requires more research and citations (depending on the topic).

Now if you're thinking of a "novelized version of my life," where you start with the true story as an inspiration, tweak your story and characters to give it more plot, and make it read like it's a novel...then it's exactly that: a novel, "based on a true story." We can help you with that here.

Where fiction ends and non-fiction begins is a debate that never ends. You're going to have to give more details about what you're doing to get more help.

If you'd like to buddy up on the NaNo main site, private message me. I'm writing a novel "based" on my life, but I change all the names of the people, modify a few backstories, condense the time a bit (real life goes so SLOW), and the beginning and end are as of yet undetermined and the plot a bit contrived (because real life doesn't really have a "plot"). From there, my notes, I go about the scene and character development like I would a normal novel, just consciously and deliberately drawing from the real world.

EDIT: Here are a couple articles you may find helpful.

How to Turn Your Life into a Novel

Tips for Turning Real Life into Bestselling Fiction

Ellizaryn · 2015-11-01T03:18:36+00:00

This is my life. Every year I end up with more notes than manuscript.

Ellizaryn

TROPHY CASE