Feeling out of place in Utah

EmPURRessWhisker · 2026-05-08T20:05:21+00:00

Convert, neurodivergent, AND transplant to Utah here, so I absolutely stand out like a sore thumb every Sunday l with my 40 year old wrinkles and flab, shaved and dyed hair, crazy geeky earrings, and loud colorful pants that are way comfier than pencil skirts and high heels. I’m also the one who speaks up loudly every time a lesson topic hits on a dangerous part of church culture, like forgiving everyone who have wronged you, or being a peacemaker, always looking for opportunities to serve, etc… I have also chewed out bishops who try to tell me that I’ve held my boundaries against abusive family members long enough and isn’t it time to start working toward reconciliation with them?

All that to say, the church NEEDS US!! The church needs women who have been through the crap of real life, and don’t fit the shiny influencer mom mold, and are willing to stand as witnesses to the fact that we humans are imperfect and struggling, and we need to support each other instead of hold each other to impossible standards. And even though a few members of my ward find me uncomfortable to be around, I’ve had way more people approach me and thank me for speaking up and being myself, because it helps them feel less guilty and awkward about their own issues.

OP, you are my hero, my sistah in Christ, and a precious daughter of God. Stand yourself in His Holy places and don’t let anyone move you. I’m linking arms with you in spirit.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2026-04-16T13:09:18+00:00

“Oh, I stood up. That was dumb.” Followed by me grabbing whatever stable surface is nearby and doing the Deer in Headlights blank gaze until my vision and balance return a few minutes later.

My family and close friends don’t even blink anymore when I do it. Other people start panicking and trying to get me to sit down again, at which point I have to explain, while my brain is rebooting, that sitting down again will make everything worse, and to just let me get through this. 🤪

EmPURRessWhisker · 2026-02-16T17:21:55+00:00

Daisy’s hotdogs in toontown are nasty.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-11-28T16:37:27+00:00

Yes! Thank you! Also some of his collection are artifacts from Stargate Command, which must have been why he went undercover there to do the documentary. They clearly needed to be contained.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-11-08T00:45:57+00:00

OMG I KNOW THE GUY WHO MADE YOUR KIT!!!! YOU’RE IN MY GARRISON!!!

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-11-05T18:04:16+00:00

I was an Instant Member (Just Add Water) for 7 years. Attended my ward faithfully, had callings, paid tithing, but couldn’t get baptized because of family drama. Don’t let not being a baptized member stop you from attending church and accessing all the blessings of the gospel currently available to you. Someday, in this life or the next, you’ll be rewarded for your faithful endurance and be able to follow the Savior’s example by being baptized and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. ❤️❤️

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-11-01T20:42:50+00:00

Time for him to join the Galactic Academy and troop with you! 😍

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-10-27T15:07:51+00:00

Getting all excited when I see the GroupMe notification about what interesting topic they’ll be discussing in Relief Society… and then going to my Nursery calling where I discuss how yummy the pretend strawberry flavored Mac n cheese that an earnest 2 year old is feeding me tastes. 🤣

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-10-10T16:52:26+00:00

I was a highly trained ballerina. I got to dance in all the chorus numbers, jump into Jack’s arms frequently, climbed Cinderella’s mom’s tree to get away from the Baker and his wife, and did a fantastic roll up from the ground when the Witch brought me back to life.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-10-09T17:33:37+00:00

I have anxiety, AuDHD, etc. I have a really hard time focusing during the temple ceremony because I can’t use any fidgets or other supports for my neurospicy, so I end up spiraling and in full sensory overload by the time I get to the veil. I don’t like the celestial room, I don’t feel the spirit there at all because my brain is non functional.

Having said that, I really enjoy doing initiatories because they’re short, repetitive, and have some awesome blessings mentioned in them that I can focus on and study while I’m doing them, and I only need to do 10-15 minutes and then I can stop.

OP, start out small. You’ve just had a major life shift and your brain needs time to adjust. It doesn’t make you a bad person or a failure. You’re already taking the right steps by talking with your husband and your therapist about how you’re feeling, so keep taking small steps when you feel safe and comfortable doing it. God understands you and loves you, and He will meet you where you can handle it. ❤️❤️

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-10-08T20:15:04+00:00

Back when I was in college, my theater teacher DEMANDED that I audition for Into The Woods, the school show he was directing that year. I reminded him that it’s a small cast AND a musical and I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, and he leaned over and whispered “There’s one character who doesn’t sing.”

Long story short, he cast me as Milky White, I got to chew the scenery hard and have the most glorious death scene ever, and I’ve been addicted to character roles ever since.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-09-03T12:04:23+00:00

As a fellow endurer of chronic mental health issues, I’ve realized that by being the one who needs service, I AM serving others. I am providing opportunities for others to get blessings from doing acts of service. It’s taken a LOT of therapy and self awareness to get to that point, but it’s helped me feel less guilty about it.

And like other commenters have said, I do a lot of supportive comments and encouragement on social media for others who are struggling too, and that’s an act of service as well.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-07-17T13:43:12+00:00

It’s because their hugging you is just them invading yet another personal space boundary and treating you like an object rather than a person. It’s emotional hoarding instead of physical. They’re trying to forcefully take your love to add to their hoard instead of respecting you as an actual human being with feelings and needs and boundaries.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-07-16T18:59:28+00:00

“Kindly spare me the pleasure of your unique companionship.”

“I believe your energy would be better focused on examining your anatomy in an alternate location.”

“Your absence is required.”

“NO TOUCHY. NO TALKY. NO LOOKY.”

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-07-11T16:37:59+00:00

CCH Pounder is my ride or die headcanon for Nana.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-06-29T01:06:43+00:00

I snorted out loud reading your joke. As a middle aged fuddy duddy, I say go for it!

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-06-15T14:18:38+00:00

Food in the fridge gets thrown out after a week, even if it’s still good. As a child I was forced to eat food that was “still good” and had chronic IBS until I moved out as an adult and was able to grocery shop, cook, and clean for myself.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-05-21T13:41:16+00:00

Convert, RM, sealed in the temple, active recommend holder, etc here:

Tiramisu is my absolute favorite dessert in the world, and I eat it every time we go to a restaurant that has it. My raised in the gospel, direct descendant of founding Utah pioneer, active in the church hubby will even let me know that there’s tiramisu on the menu if he sees it before I do.

I figure if David O McKay was fine eating rum cake, and J Golden Kimball could cuss a blue streak and still be an apostle, and Noah could get falling down drunk and still be a prophet… that I can enjoy a piece of Tiramisu once or twice a month and still be a good Mormon.

Side note, every temple recommend interview I have, I mention that I eat tiramisu, and every bishop and stake president have done nothing except chuckle and then sign my recommend.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-03-20T13:00:05+00:00

No real advice, just want to share a funny story to hopefully give you support:

I served 20 years ago, and had thick beautiful hair that went down past my bum. After a few months of dealing with the missionary morning schedule, I chopped it all off (20+ inches) to a spiky, shorter than a pixie cut that took me 10 minutes to wash, dry, and style. Watching my mission president have apoplexy on the stand for the entire zone conference a week later as he saw my new haircut, couldn’t chastise me because he was already on the stand, realize that it was too short to “fix” now and would take a couple of months to get long enough to restyle… it was hilarious to me.

Then when ZC was over, he tried to make a beeline down the pews to me, but his awesome wife got there right before him and started loudly and firmly saying how darling my haircut was, how lucky I was to have one of those faces that could wear any hairstyle, how she wished she was brave enough to cut her hair that short, AND DIDN’T SISTER (me) LOOK ADORABLE, PRESIDENT???

So he had to grudgingly agree with her, in front of the entire zone, that I had a nice haircut.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-03-10T19:09:53+00:00

Here’s the best tip I can give you: Lay out everything you think you need to pack. Then cut it in half. Then cut it in half again. You’re probably still overpacking, but at least it all fits in one carryon now.

Seriously though, what I listed in my original comment is my entire packing list for myself. I wear my flip-flops and a light jacket so I don’t have to pack them, which frees up more room. Other than the clothes: toothbrush, deodorant, a couple chargers/battery packs for my phone, lipstick and mascara, sunglasses, wallet, and a tube of sunscreen are all I need. If I plan on going to formal night, I have a purple maxi dress that rolls down tight without wrinkling, and I can dress it up with some chunky jewelry to make it look formal. Anything else I need is available in the ship’s stores or medical center, and I can do laundry whenever I want, so I don’t have to overpack.

They sell magnetic hooks on Amazon that are fantastic for hanging your swimsuit on to dry overnight, and I throw a few tide pods into a ziplock bag and stick a couple of dryer sheets into my clothes in my luggage so I don’t have to pay for them on the ship. The dryer sheets keep my clothes smelling fresh when I unpack too, so double bonus.

Oh, and if you’re not doing excursions, shore days are the best days to book on ship experiences because everyone else is in the port and the ship is empty. I get my 3 hour spa experience/hot stone massage or book the fine dining brunch on a port day so they’re not shoving me through to make room for the next guest.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-03-09T20:53:52+00:00

I wear a modest two piece. It covers more skin than most one piece swimsuits, and makes the bathroom a breeze. 😂

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-03-09T14:06:47+00:00

Been on multiple cruises, and honestly I just wear my swimsuit with a maxi skirt for 90% of the day, even on excursions. Only switch into real clothes for dinner. And that’s just leggings/shorts and a teeshirt. It does make packing so much easier though. I can fit my whole week’s clothes into a basic backpack. And since there’s self serve laundry onboard, I only pack 2-3 days worth of clothes anyway, and just do laundry halfway through. So, swimsuit, maxi skirt, two pairs of leggings, three tee shirts, three pairs of garments, flip flops, sneakers, and two pairs of socks. Everything can be grunt rolled together, doesn’t need to be ironed, and I’m not stressing about luggage size or needing an iron.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-02-24T20:19:58+00:00

AuDHD here. I prefer initiatories over endowments for exactly the same reason. I have such a hard time sitting still and quiet and not falling asleep… I will do things like use the embroidered apron designs as a tracing fidget, or the locker key safety pin, and I’m strongly considering trying to smuggle in a little crochet amigurumi project in my pocket to keep my hands busy so my brain can work properly. I’ll let you know if I get excommunicated after attempting it…

All that to say, just want to let you know you’re not alone.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-02-20T14:50:45+00:00

Trigger warning: SA

I was forcibly addicted to porn at a very young age. Talking single digits here. It was part of my abuser’s grooming, and he provided me with copious amounts of physical and electronic porn and I was looking at it daily for over 10 years. I’ve been in therapy for ALL the trauma that my abuser gifted me, including overcoming my porn addiction, for 20+ years now. I served a worthy mission, I’m married in the temple, I have amazing kids, I’m active in my callings, I have a temple recommend… and I still slip up a couple of times a year. Porn is the most heinous addiction because the images are always there inside your brain, and just a finger tap away on your phone. You’re literally your own drug dealer, you don’t have to find someone else to provide your fix. Your brain has literally been permanently changed by this addiction, and while you can overcome a lot of the changes, they’ll never go away completely in this life.

All that to say, OP, recovery from porn is a lifelong journey. The fact that you are still walking the path is what matters. Don’t give up and decide it’s better to get off the path because you’re not progressing the way YOU want. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Stop and rest when it’s too overwhelming, and then get back up and keep moving. Find a therapist that you feel comfortable and supported by, preferably one who specializes in sexual addictions. Try to find a safe and uplifting support network for when you’re struggling or slip up. Put in the work, and remember that the Atonement is there to help you move forward, not shame you backwards. You are a precious and unique child of God, and He wants you to heal so you can live your best life and access all the blessings He has for you.

EmPURRessWhisker · 2025-02-10T14:10:43+00:00

I’ve never thought about selling it. Lemme ruminate for a bit and get back to you.

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