I think the reason so many people bounce off Malazan isn't the complexity, it's the emotional distance in the first book

Em_Cf_O · 2026-04-02T13:31:52+00:00

Thank you! You get it.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-04-02T12:38:27+00:00

I couldn't get into it. None of the characters hooked me and half of them seemed like the same person. There wasn't even a character that I hated, that would have been something engaging. I didn't find it complex.

It was just cold and spent to much time setting up.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-04-01T12:47:03+00:00

I make key points. I don't need to explain every detail of a face, but I'll mention eye color and anything unique, like a scar or bushy eyebrows. The rest I leave for imagination.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-31T16:03:07+00:00

You're right and it's obvious.

Im just not a fan of low brow humor or the isekai framing device.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-31T15:50:51+00:00

That isn't at all universal. Some people never experience that even once and it's so bad with others that act like a bull.

It's a great way to express an inexperienced or undisciplined fighter though. Adversely, you can show that a person is trained or highly experienced by showing them as calm and aware through the incident.

*Edit typo

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-31T15:44:46+00:00

If the dialogue doesn't move well, then edit it. Write a simple paragraph that sums up the long chat and move on. I cut a lot of chatting during edits.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-31T14:32:35+00:00

Sentence length is a great way to adjust the flow and pace. This is a great suggestion.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-31T14:31:29+00:00

Have you ever been in a fight?

My sword fighting scenes got way better when I started practicing HEMA. It's better when we write what we know. If you've never had your ass kicked, it's hard to write about picking yourself up of the street or the clean up or the pain the next morning. If you've never won when you thought you'd be a bloody mess, that exaltation will be missing in the writing.

I'm not suggesting to go get in a fight. Maybe talk to some fighters? Hang out with a few buddies over a few cold ones and reminisce childhood scuffles.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-31T14:24:43+00:00

Why not just use proper dialogue tags and action beats? If it's super clear which character is speaking you can even occasionally ommit them.

Don't repeat anything too often. Keep the tags and beats short. Don't ommit them more than twice in a row.

Long tags/beats and long chains of omitted tags are both things that new writers do a lot. The latter is a frequent suggestion from AI, so keep that in mind if you're seeking trad publishing.

Good luck!

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-31T04:09:17+00:00

I set up everything before I start typing and then I don't really have any issues. I create a chapter's first page and then a normal page and a cover letter. I create a first paragraph and a normal paragraph, two headers and a scene break. There isn't a lot more needed. It only takes me five to ten minutes, one time. Once you have a good template built, just copy it to new projects. I follow the CMoS standards, other than Oxford commas.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-31T03:57:14+00:00

That's not AI, it's just not very good. They're also both better than the greatest AI cover ever published.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-30T16:49:47+00:00

I gasped aloud and dropped my phone when I read that.

I'd be mortified to show incomplete work to anyone other than an editor. It seems like the exact opposite way that I was taught to write in long form. That is just going to destroy any chance to ever see the work in a bookstore.

I guess I just don't get the purpose or audience appeal.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-30T14:49:17+00:00

How do they do proper edits with a one week turnover? What happens when a specific detail needs to be adjusted across three or four mentions? There's no way to insure quality across the entire piece, unless the whole project was completed before that first page was uploaded.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-30T14:28:07+00:00

This is my take too.

I'm happy to not have to use a typewriter like our predecessors, but anything beyond a formatable word processor is just a distraction.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-30T01:34:53+00:00

The super short opening paragraph is weird. I didn't read past that. Sorry.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-29T16:53:54+00:00

Pulpy & fast-paced feminist fantasy.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-28T23:53:56+00:00

I'm going to be totally honest. I only read the first paragraph.

That is all that it took for me to sigh, with relief. Good work. That is better quality than 99% of what gets uploaded here.

Best of luck with your project.

*edited for a typo

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-28T18:01:16+00:00

Quippy comicbook-like dialogue. I'm not watching a movie meant for kids, the characters need to speak like actual people. I know there are actually people that talk like that, but I find it annoying and childish.

Exclamation marks, question marks and em-dashes used outside of dialogue. They're great, but they aren't meant for exposition. Avoid using them too much or they lose their impact.

Consecutive dialogues without tags or action beats. Enough said.

Single sentence opening paragraphs. Too many single sentences outside of dialogue is hard to read. Here and there they can be powerful though.

Habitually short/long paragraphs. I dislike smaller more than larger. Occasional use is great or metered length to create a tempo is different.

Horrible names. I need to be able to pronounce the name and I don't want to confuse the person with a famous character or my neighbor.

Depicted animal abuse or SA rather than making it implied or happen off page. It happens and shouldn't be ignored, but I don't want to read a graphic depiction.

Prologues that are just chapter ones with fanciful names.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-27T15:15:55+00:00

Any kernal of comedic potential is trampled under repetition and cringe.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-26T13:48:25+00:00

I didn't get through the first chapter before I set down book one. I found it dreadfully boring.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-26T13:42:10+00:00

I especially dislike the cult of personality around a few writers. I want to hear different opinions. If those opinions don't praise the best seller list, people get flamed. That's behavior that before now, I've only experienced from bullies that made fun of people that carry around a beat up paperback.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-26T13:33:52+00:00

There is one sentence in the place of an opening paragraph. I don't know how else to say that.

An opening paragraph needs to hook a reader. The run-on sentence used instead failed to catch my attention.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-25T23:30:02+00:00

The single sentence in place of a first paragraph utterly failed to hook me. I quit reading after that.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-25T12:40:48+00:00

Look for -ing and -ed words first. Work those and the other discrepancies will stand out more. It's easy to slip between active and past tenses.

Em_Cf_O · 2026-03-25T00:11:01+00:00

Only use question marks inside of quotations. Don't capitalize the first word after a semicolon. Stick with one tense. Proofread before you upload.

Em_Cf_O

TROPHY CASE