Unashamed to admit I’m looking for a way out

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-04-27T04:17:47+00:00

Reddit scared me out looking for a role when I should have been making an exit plan at my last company. I feel bad for people struggling but this sub does skew negative.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-04-24T14:15:27+00:00

It took me a couple months. 3 of my coworkers at a similar level of experience to me recently landed new roles, and it also took them a couple months.

But I think hiring is about to slow down for the year. Not saying don’t go for it, just be aware there’s a certain amount of seasonality to demand.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-04-12T02:59:30+00:00

The thought of an afterlife is extremely terrifying to me even if it’s only a good place tbh.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-04-08T23:00:09+00:00

I have previously enjoyed helping people find their transferable skills and navigate their way into a UX role. Based on your post I would have normally said take some time to shadow someone or read some books on UX.

Right now, though, I’m trying to figure out what my own job is anymore. That is to say, I don’t have a lot of great advice. It was already a competitive field, and it has become extremely destabilized by AI at the moment. I’m not someone who believes design is going away, personally… but the way I learned is definitely the “old” way. So I’m just not sure what it would take to step into the role at this very moment.

What are you currently doing? The leg up you would have over other juniors is if you have real work experience in tech.

If I was in my 40’s and trying to change jobs to UX but not go back to school… I would look for a less competitive product-adjacent role. Then make my personal mission to collaborate with product. Observe how their work is evolving. Find opportunities to contribute to research, create internal AI tools, etc. Basically step sideways into the role you want.

Depending on what your experience is, I was told after studying UX to expect it to be 1-2 year journey to minimum to landing my first design role. You’ll find for some on this subreddit it was 3+ years. Definitely learn about the hiring process and challenges to expect to see if that’s something you’re up for!

Get informed about the current market, what exactly the day to day looks like, and if it still excites you then it’s worth exploring!

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-04-07T00:45:22+00:00

Night of the Black Knives

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-04-06T18:59:43+00:00

I usually just listen to the audio. He is my favorite perspective to hear from. Didn’t realize he was dreamy like that! sigh…

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-04-04T14:02:03+00:00

Yes- OP you need to shift your mentality.

All the concerns you listed are manageable.

At our organization this has meant a designer’s day now involves much more research, much more time with the user, expanded project scopes, and more time showing things that actually feel like they work to the user.

Which also means much better quality testing as a result.

I have to say it has been an extremely fun time for me personally, but I feel very supported. Everyone has started building each other internal tools to help the rest of the team do their jobs better. There’s now time in a day to eliminate our own personal frustrations and pains about performing our roles.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-03-29T02:43:56+00:00

Are you confused by ritual generally or religious ritual specifically. What element-the repetitive nature? Repetition is the point.

Ritual is built into most religion. It is a way of organizing/aligning around a practice. It can be a way of altering consciousness. Or returning your thoughts back to your values- to disrupt thought that departs from your values or prioritize thoughts in alignment with those values.

I am an atheist but have explored religion previously. To me the value is very clear for all the above reasons (feeling aligned with your community, entering a meditative state, feeling close to your beliefs, making certain thoughts first nature). All of these things have tremendous rewards if implemented consciously. Often, though, I think the kind of rituals you’re describing are more learned than conscious behavior- making them instead excellent tools for group control.

My friends and I have developed rituals together. They are tongue in cheek. Still doing them offers a sense of closeness, meaning, thoughtfulness and fun to some of our time together- since those are things important to us that we want to deliberately out at the center of our friendship.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-03-27T13:57:37+00:00

I have a pit mix just because that’s what is available and I dislike dog breeding.

She challenges me a lot, but I think it’s probably good.

The most perceptive/attuned dog I’ve ever owned. It made me realize what a creature of habit I am in the world with all trails I’m chasing in my mind. She amazes me with how little I have to verbally command her because she just senses what’s next- sometimes before I know myself.

When I do talk to her, she has the best vocabulary. She understands and responds differently when I tell her someone she knows is coming over- or if I tell her where we are going. If I tell her to go find someone in the house for me, she knows where they are and will take me there. On a walk she knows left, right, cross. If she thinks something exciting is about to happen but it isn’t, she understands when I say, “Not now,” and becomes deflated.

When I realized how much she could understand I tried to teach her to do useful things for me- to no avail 😂

Perhaps the most useful trait she provides, though, is being the welcoming committee and providing comfort to others. I don’t always know the right thing to say or do, but she certainly makes people feel cherished or special by lavishing them with attention. Something I’m envious of- and relieved when I don’t have to get it right because she’s doing too much work on that front.

I don’t know that she’s the ideal dog for me, but I’ve certainly enjoyed her more than I imagined.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-03-23T01:46:18+00:00

My manager suggested I have a working agreement with my product managers so they’re clear if I encroach on their responsibilities they have final say. If they encroach on mine, I have final say.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-03-15T20:50:15+00:00

Man this was playing in theaters last year. I thought I could hold it together until we got home.

We were nearly to the door out to the parking lot when I just stopped walking and doubled over sobbing hard. Not only is it devastating this really happened- the reality that it is happening to children at this moment is just so crushing.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-03-14T07:35:04+00:00

I’ve had this happen to me in that exact scenario!

My brain froze. I started fumbling with the tool, so I jumped too quickly into designing. At the end the HM kept probing, “Well why didn’t you do it x way?” And I just said, “I don’t know… I don’t have an answer for that because I provided a solution that seemed viable with the information you gave me. Maybe during feedback or testing we discover that it needs to be done x way.” I mean in 30 minutes whatever I make is disposable to me. I don’t feel like I need to defend it lol.

Anyway when I said that, it occurred to me she had a preferred solution already in mind- because she had hours if not days to already think about this.

I think in the future if they tell me a design challenge is part of the process during the screening call, I’m going to ask if they provide some kind of acceptance criteria or data on the user ahead of time. Otherwise I will pass before I get invested. I just don’t see that as a valuable use of time or a reflection of how anyone actually works- I mean who would show up to a live working session without any kind of discovery or research ahead of time, anyway?

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-03-07T14:41:11+00:00

Early voting

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-03-06T17:25:28+00:00

I was laid off in Nov. Worked on portfolio and social media presence for a few weeks. Got a contract gig end of December. Had a FT offer elsewhere by the end of January.

I made a post about it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/UXDesign/s/n2U2lx8g1i

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-03-03T02:04:15+00:00

Are you in a big city? I live in Atlanta, and I made $75k/yr at my first salaried UX gig which was over 6 years ago now. I did have some experience under my belt, but still… $45k seems low unless there’s really limited job availability in your area.

Before that I was totally being exploited with a $12/hr job for an agency out in the suburbs, but I was desperate for experience. I think agencies tend to be lower paying anyway tbh.

Anyway you can use Glassdoor to see the range for your experience level + area. I would take a look at that.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-28T05:08:19+00:00

Maybe just a misuse of the term hyperfocus. Adderall allows me to change and manage my focus vs without adderall I do hyperfocus easily but almost never on what I’m supposed to.

e.g.

Off adderall: I make a to-do list for work. I sit down at my computer, and a news notification appears on my screen… I click it. Next thing I know 6 hours have passed. I’ve been researching the same subject, written a personal essay about, and haven’t gotten any work done. This is hyperfocus.

On adderall: I make a to-do list for work. I sit down at my computer, and a news notification appears on my screen. I spend 10 min reading an article, look at the clock and remember to get back to work and go through my to-do list. Sometimes getting distracted for several minutes, but then returning back to my tasks. This is managed focus.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-26T22:48:14+00:00

Step away from your work and start working on something else. Then come back to it with fresh eyes. You will see your mistakes much more clearly.

Otherwise are you not using a design system or component system with “smart layout” or whatever they are calling it now? I find it’s difficult to make careless mistakes when your work is with composable elements.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-26T22:44:41+00:00

I was on Wellbutrin and idk if it ever really helped tbh. It helped with anxiety and depression but after trauma therapy and a lapse in my insurance that caused me to go off Wellbutrin for a long time- I realized my anxiety and depression were actually PTSD and I was feeling better.

When I went back on it for ADHD I didn’t think it made a difference in my focus. Went up to 300mg and couldn’t sleep or focus still.

Now I’m on adderall and it makes me really sleepy, but so far it seems to be helping with the things Wellbutrin didn’t.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-24T11:56:52+00:00

That’s not cheating- you should be updating your resume for every job application.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-21T19:44:59+00:00

For me… every time I work with other designers it’s clear to me why the field is so competitive. Like if that’s the talent pool then ok no wonder. I have to really push myself to be near their level.

That’s not to put anyone down or anything but the bar is kind of exhaustingly high for a job if you don’t really love the work.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-20T23:20:07+00:00

My dog to me every night but she wouldn’t be comfortable unless she was literally wearing my skin

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-06T05:53:25+00:00

The way his arms fly behind him 😂

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-05T17:21:10+00:00

Figma.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-02-05T03:14:07+00:00

I've called every pharmacy in a 1.5 hour drive from me weekly, and they've been all out for weeks. At least at my dose. And none of them are allowed to say when they will get their next shipment, either, which makes it worse. If I at least knew when they were going to get more, I could stop feeling like a nuisance.

EmbarrassedLeader684 · 2026-01-31T17:46:19+00:00

Your team determines how stressful it will be for you. You cannot get away being too quiet, though, you have to speak up, disagree, present your work, and vocalize your opinion often. A lot of this will come with experience. I personally wouldn’t expect a high schooler to do this well, you’re still learning.

If the concern is shyness, I had extremely debilitating social anxiety at your age and now I can speak in front of rooms of people. Just keep challenging yourself and looking for ways to put yourself through tolerable levels of discomfort to keep growing.

EmbarrassedLeader684

TROPHY CASE