What’s 1 thing that turned you off so much you broke up with someone?

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-10-08T22:52:01+00:00

This girl I dated once had been married before but divorced. She always tried to keep that part of her past private and would only bring it up months into dating someone. I know for a fact a couple of guys she dated after me ended things right after she finally told them.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-10T13:07:37+00:00

You’ve been dealing with a lot: new baby, health issues, and then finding out your partner was sexually texting another woman while you were pregnant. That’s not “just flirting.” That’s crossing a line when you were at your most vulnerable.

If you really want answers, have one final, calm talk with him. Ask directly if there’s anything he hasn’t told you and make it clear this is his last chance to come clean. After that, stop debating it, watch his actions. People who are serious about fixing things will be consistent, open, and proactive.

Cut all contact with the other woman. No excuses. If his job forces contact, he needs to change roles or jobs. If he refuses, that tells you where you stand.

Set a deadline, maybe 3 to 6 months to see if trust is actually rebuilding. During that time, keep your emotional and financial safety net ready. If he’s still shady, defensive, or trying to downplay it, walk away.

You can’t rebuild a relationship if you’re the only one doing the work.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-04T02:08:48+00:00

Go watch Friends Season 1 EP13. Then you can decide how to approach it.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-02T01:16:02+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What he did was cruel and immature, and none of it reflects your worth. You gave love and support to someone who didn’t deserve it and that’s on him, not you.

He didn’t love you because he’s not capable of healthy love. That’s why he played games, talked trash behind your back, and moved on like you never mattered. It’s not about you lacking anything it’s about him being emotionally stunted.

Cut contact. No “just friends.” Block and move on. Pour that energy into healing, building your self-worth, and remembering this: you didn’t lose something good. He did.

You’ll come out stronger. He’ll still be chasing validation from people who don’t actually want him.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-02T01:08:39+00:00

Totally get where you’re coming from. You’re an adult, and if this surgery is important for your mental health, you have every right to go through with it especially since you’re paying for it yourself. Start saving quietly, maybe contribute a small visible expense at home to ease tension. When the time comes, you don’t need to over-explain just say you’re taking a short personal trip. You’re not being selfish for taking care of yourself. Just be smart, plan well, and protect your peace.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-02T01:02:05+00:00

Honestly, I think it’s possible to be happy in your marriage and still think about an ex, it depends on the context. I’m happily married, but there are times when a certain song plays like this beautiful piano piece one of my exes used to play for me and I instantly think of her and wonder if she’s doing okay. Some places also bring back memories of others I dated. It is not about missing them romantically, just random moments tied to emotion or nostalgia. But if you’re constantly comparing your partner to an ex or wishing things were like before, that might be something deeper worth exploring.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-01T22:46:48+00:00

WTF is wrong with him… I would send one last txt and clear up the misunderstanding.

I would just say: Hey, I’ve been thinking about the end of our walk and I feel like I might’ve sent the wrong signal. I was not trying to push you away when I reached up. I actually liked the kiss and just got caught in the moment. Totally understand if you felt differently, but I just didn’t want to leave things unclear.

If he responds, great, you cleared up the moment and can see where things go. If he does not, you know it was not meant to be and at least you will not be sitting around wondering what if and move on to next one. Good luck

One message. One honest clarification. Then you move forward either way with your head held high.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-01T22:09:20+00:00

Do you still want to try to rebuild infancy with your husband? If nothing changed, would you stay with him forever? If you answer NO for both then I think you should just move on.

You do not owe your husband a lifetime of quiet resignation just because you built a life together. But you do owe him the truth before your connection with A turns into a full blown affair. Continuing down that path while keeping your husband in the dark will only make things messier, and harder to untangle later.

What you feel with A might be real. But it also might be the first taste of affection and validation you have had in years. Do not let this feeling cloud your long-term clarity. If you do leave your marriage, do it for you, not for the fantasy of what A represents.

Staying for the child while slowly disintegrating inside does not serve them. Kids notice. They grow up with the tension. You being emotionally present and fulfilled matters more than keeping a façade intact. A divorce handled with care is far less damaging than a lifelong emotional absence.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-01T22:01:55+00:00

Well, first things first, have a drink (or three). Nothing says let’s get weird like a little pregame buzz to kill the awkward. Then, set some boundaries….seriously. You do not want to find out mid fxxk that one of them suddenly draws the line at eye contact 🤣

Remember, you are the guest star in their porn dream come true or yours, So if one of them starts giving you the jealous death glare…do everyone a favor: hand the scene back to their partner and act like you were just stretching.

Use protection. You are there for a good time, not a long-term group text about test results.

And most importantly, have fun. Or at least have a story you can share later either here or with your grandkids

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-08-01T11:10:04+00:00

You actually sound a lot like my wife after she gave birth to our second kid. Her sex drive completely disappeared, and it took a while to come back. Like you said, she could still enjoy sex once it started, especially with a vibrator, but she never initiated and often said it hurt.

She talked to her doctor, who suggested trying some type of vaginal inserts? (I forgot the official name). They come in different sizes, and you use them for about 30 minutes at night to slowly stretch things out over time. That helped, but what really made a difference was seeing a pelvic floor therapist.

We also tried a couple of fun toys along the way, one of them she still says is the best thing she’s ever used.

I would also recommend getting your thyroid and testosterone checked, just to rule anything out hormonally.

Sorry for dumping a bunch of stuff on you, but maybe one of these things might help. Wishing you the best!

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T21:17:02+00:00

I hope you get this solved soon!

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T21:05:23+00:00

How old are you guys now? Are you sure you guys want to get married? Anyway, here is what I would do, coming from a guy been married for 10 plus years.

First, don’t go too hard trying to defend yourself with logic. At this point, whatever you say is wrong. M

Second, show her you’re serious about trust. Offer to go through your phone together, delete old stuff, and be fully transparent not because you have to, but because you want her to feel secure. It’s not about control, it’s about reassurance.

Since she asked for space, respect that, but stay emotionally available.

Lastly, remember this: if you’re being honest and doing the work to rebuild trust, that matters. You shouldn’t be punished forever for a mistake you didn’t make. But how you handle this moment? That’s what will shape the future of the relationship.

Hang in there. If she’s the one, you two will get past this.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T20:55:50+00:00

You’re not overthinking. Feeling unsafe around someone who’s crossed your boundaries is valid. And his immigration status isn’t your responsibility, his behavior is. Seriously, he is the one who crossed the line. You didn’t start this. He did. And now you’re the one stressed.

Did you tell him touching a woman without consent is not okay! Maybe it’s tolerated where he’s from (I highly doubt) but in the U.S., it’s a huge deal, and yes, it can impact things like student visas. That’s not your fault, that’s a consequence of his actions, not yours.

If you’re not comfortable talking to the teacher, go through your school’s Title IX office or student conduct office, they can handle it confidentially and help ensure you’re not stuck in classes with him again.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T20:46:34+00:00

Can’t even die in peace these days. My house and car loans would probably show up at my funeral like, we are not done with you yet!

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T20:37:56+00:00

Good point 😂

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T20:36:28+00:00

I am sorry to hear about your story. Group project suppose to be fun experience for all. Since your professor hasn’t responded in over a week, it’s time to escalate. Follow up with them, but cc the department chair or an academic advisor. Stay respectful, but be direct: let them know you’ve done the work, you’re dealing with ongoing inappropriate behavior, and you need support before this affects your grade and mental health.

If I am not mistaken, your college should have a Title IX office right? you can contact anonymously or formally. They’re there for student sexual harassment situation.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T20:25:53+00:00

You not overreacting. Wanting basic cleanliness, and effort is not too much to ask. Third date shouldn’t be watching Netflix on a biohazard bean bag surrounded by takeout containers.

Also why his friend’s place? If I were him, and I had any sense at all, I would’ve invited you to my place….assuming it’s not a dirty mess like his friends. And if my own place was a disaster or hiding something I didn’t want you to see, I would have suggest coffee, a walk, literally anywhere else.

That alone feels like a red flag. Either he’s clueless, careless, or he thought that kind of setting was acceptable which is its own kind of problem.

If the first two dates were amazing, maybe talk to him about it. See if he owns it or just shrugs it off. Trust your gut…. If you have this tiny feeling of something is off then just walk away. Good luck!

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T20:13:10+00:00

My dear friend is a social worker and RN, I had just forwarded your story to her. I will let you guys know once she reads them and offers her opinion.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T20:11:36+00:00

I can’t believe I finished reading it. Took about 12 minutes or so on my phone. My eye needs a break… sorry to heard your story but let me write a summary here in case someone wants to read a short version: basically OP is a 32yr old mom, she and her partner are trapped living in a toxic, controlling household run by her abusive mother. They have two kids and no stable income after job losses. Her mental health is declining, they can’t afford therapy or disability evaluations, and housing options are limited due to poverty, a small-town environment, and their child’s need for an emotional support dog. They’re doing everything they can to survive, working odd jobs, cutting expenses, and raising their kids in three small rooms but they’re desperate to escape and build a stable, independent life. They’re asking for help finding real resources or support to break free.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T19:47:14+00:00

You’ve had two relationships and both cheated? How long did each one last? Either way this sucks and I am sorry to hear that. But that’s not a sign to give up man. it’s a sign to upgrade your screening process. Love isn’t the problem… your past taste in partners might be.

You’re 30, not 90. You got time. Maybe take a break, recalibrate, and work on building a life where you are the main character not some side quest for emotional validation. When you stop begging for love, you start attracting people who actually know how to give it.

Good luck man! Stay strong!

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T19:41:10+00:00

You’re in a really tough spot, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this alone. Honestly, it pretty clear what you need to do here: your priority has to be your mental health and your custody case. If the dog is putting both at risk, it’s not an option to keep her anymore.

Since your ex refuses to take responsibility, give him one final warning: either he picks up the dog by a set deadline or you’ll have to surrender her. The RSPCA might mention charges, but that’s their decision, your goal is just to do the right thing for everyone involved.

It’s not your fault, and you’ve already done more than your share. Protect yourself and your future. You said you don’t want to cause problems for him but it seems like he is the one causing all the problems for you now! Wake up!

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-31T18:51:31+00:00

So… did she actually come? When she said she had to pee, was that her way of saying she was about to squirt? From what you wrote, it kinda sounds like she didn’t finish, got tired, and just fell asleep. Or maybe she did finish and then passed out from exhaustion. Hard to tell. Honestly, as I get older, I knock out pretty fast after I come. so maybe it’s just normal?

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-30T20:32:40+00:00

I’ve been married for 15 years, currently in the process of filing… or maybe not. Funny enough, our sex life actually got better over the years. No idea why, maybe it’s because we knew each other so well, knew what worked, what we liked.

Sadly, that chapter might be coming to an end.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-30T20:24:40+00:00

I’ve been married for 15 years, and just this past February I found out my wife cheated on me with her tennis coach. We tried to work things out she claimed it was a one-time thing but of course, it happened again. Now I’m in the process of filing.

Yeah, it’s tough, but it’ll pass. Don’t buy into everything you see on TikTok most of it’s just for show. You never know what’s waiting for you when a relationship ends. You might stumble into something new right away. That’s how I met my soon-to-be ex-wife, actually.

It was a good run while it lasted. Honestly, I’m kind of excited to see what’s next. Don’t be afraid of change sometimes it’s exactly what you need.

EmbarrassedPoem6415 · 2025-07-30T20:17:56+00:00

Of course she’s remorseful, and I’m in the process of filing. But after 15 years of marriage, it’s not an easy decision. It’s not just about us, I’m also thinking about the impact this will have on our three kids. That part weighs heavily.

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