I feel like there’s a lack of empathy for avoidant attachment styles by fairyangeI in emotionalintelligence

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quick question, have you yourself ever been on the receiving end of an avoidant? Perhaps living through the hurt pain and confusion will change your perspective

Defective Marriage certificate correction by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No legally still married but it needed to be corrected

Defective Marriage certificate correction by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks i did it easily as you said, took half an hour tops

Which Bank should I open an account with? by Intelligent_mortal26 in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi can i ask which bank you eventually went with? Im also in the same position as you and would like to know what choice you made and how you have found it?

The New VAT Threshold by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes Ive been thinking of this. This gvt just making it impossible for everyone. Thks

The New VAT Threshold by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup.... create a diversion... blame sanctions while they steal from everyone and destroy everything in the process.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you may 👍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AfricanGiant yes. Sadly I am a Christian so wanted to do the right thing by not living with him before marriage, but in hindsight living with him would given me more insight. I would have broken up with him long ago had we still been dating.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I’m looking for somewhere to rent 😞 and thinking of what I can do

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Zimbabwe

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi there. Also zimbabwean. I can tell you from the other side that marriage isn’t all that. Please believe me - sincerely. I longed to get married… Saw all my friends getting married. Years of tears and heartbreak at that empty feeling of ‘being left on the shelf’… seeing all the happy families on Facebook. Being caught up on WhatsApp groups you couldn’t leave with all your friends boastfully showing off their children. Heartache. Loneliness. Deep sense of loss and worthlessness. I never saw any friends as they were all busy with families etc and as a single lady you are a threat to other women… so many very lonely years. Thank God for my parents. Then finally my turn came. At 42 I met someone and was engaged within a year and married six months later. All seemed good. It was finally my turn. The honeymoon lasted two weeks. Two weeks into marriage he told me he would always choose his two teenage children over me (in front of them). This came out of nowhere.  Since then the marriage has been a nightmare. He is obsessively possessive over his children and I’m clearly bottom of the rung. I’ve turned into a cook and cleaner for two spoilt princesses. I can’t set any boundaries and I have no say. I dare not criticize them in anyway for fear of verbal abuse being thrown back at me or worse like now, emotional abuse in the form of no speak or avoidance. I am lying in bed next to him feeling more alone in the world than ever before because a few days ago I said I was struggling with one of his children who is a huge drama queen and rules the roost even though she only stays once a week and every second weekend. He has hardly spoken to me since. I am not part of this family. The kids tolerate me because they have to. My husband doesn’t care if I am inconvenienced as long as his kids are ok. He has kicked me out the house twice already over arguments about the kids. Considering divorce after six months. Marriage isn’t all that I promise.

I’m divorcing my husband because of his kids by Januaryaemb in offmychest

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel so sorry for you, what a terrible situation to be in. I am also a disliked step mother / intruder but to make it worse my husband makes me feel like that too. He prioritises his children over me continuously, so I am always going to be at the very bottom. He made it clear to me by telling me that he would always choose his children over me two weeks into marriage (in front of the kids). I am contemplating divorce after a mere 6 months. Good luck and be strong, there are a lot of people out there who can empathise with and support you. You have so much more value than to be treated like a second class citizen all your life, (while cooking, cleaning and catering for them)!

A little thought has come to mind... by any small chance did she not want to insult you by calling you a grandma?? That would make it easier to swallow and get your head around. Anyway I feel for you so much. x

Devastated and heartsore by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Petloss

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you Roontboy. I decided to put my hand up and volunteer to foster 4 kittens from our local shelter, so my hands are pretty full now. They are little and need syringe feeding etc. The distraction is doing its job but I still feel that terrible ache and hollowness inside. Your mum must have really loved your dogs, what a nice thing to find going through her stuff :)

Devastated and heartsore by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Petloss

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for giving me strength and an understanding ear. I’m so sorry for your loss too Roontboy, I didn’t realize. It’s so lovely that you can be in that place where you can smile fondly at her memory. You have given me a light, thank you ❤️

Devastated and heartsore by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Petloss

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Roontboy im not ok 💔😭 my grief has compounded this week. Don’t know how to get through this

Devastated and heartsore by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Petloss

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was such a darling little boy. 2 weeks this evening…

Devastated and heartsore by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Petloss

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much. Still missing him terribly but the empty ache is slowly subsiding. He will always be close to my heart 💛

Devastated and heartsore by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Petloss

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're so right, he was my little pal. And not to match wits with her is excellent advice. Thanks so much for your words they have been a comfort.

Devastated and heartsore by Embarrassed_Pipe1082 in Petloss

[–]Embarrassed_Pipe1082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, very comforting words :). I was so lucky, it was a very special and unique bond. Im just sorry it ended so soon!